Page 44 of Beautiful Beasts

I look down at my chest and admire the cuts they made, claiming me in the same way they allowed me to claim them.

When Dante asked me to scar him, it scared the living shit out of me at first, but afterward, I now understand. They needed me to claim them in that way. Scar them and allow them to scar me. Our darkness is what brought us all together, but now it is love. The love that we can’t deny anymore.

I take a deep breath as I walk into the shower, once again trying to wash away the past, but now the urge to wash and wash is no longer there. Deep down, I feel peace. A peace I haven’t felt before.

What we just did has silenced the past that usually consumes me when I am showering. What we did has redefined and assured me they are in love with me. They need me as much as I need them.

There are no games here, and there is no denying that I belong here with them, and they belong with me.

I never thought this would happen, but now that it has, I have become obsessed and dependent on what they make me feel. It is selfish, I know, and some could say I am using them to escape, and the truth is I am using them. I am using them to escape, to feel something more than the disgusting, unworthy feeling I have felt most of my life.

When I am with them, I feel like I am more than just a piece of trash they will eventually throw away. They have proven to me time and time again that I am more. This is the first time my brain and heart allow me to believe them fully and not second guess.

Fuck, we are all fucked now. There is no escaping and no running away. There is only me and them and a dangerous love affair that will burn the whole city down if we let it.

I don’t care about Gus or Bruce, and I don’t care about what will happen tomorrow. The only thing that matters is that I care about them and getting back into their arms. I asked them to join me, but they said I needed to do some self-care, which again confused me. They each kissed my body, licked the marks they left, and told me that I needed to take some time for myself.

I don’t understand it, not really, but I trust them, and I have to trust that they know best.

“There is my little whore,” Gus says in a disgusting low voice.

My heart sinks with Gus’ voice. I don’t turn around because I don’t want to look into the eyes of the man who is about to use and abuse me. After all, he thinks he can. I feel his chest press against my back as he leans in, presses his lips against my ear, and rests his hands on top of mine.

“I heard you with them, whore. Have you forgotten what I told you? They don’t love you, and they never will,” he says confidently. He believes what he is saying, and I know he wants me to believe them as well. He wants me to turn on them.

I push back and force him to back up as I quickly turn around and slap him across the face before he can say or do anything. His eyes fill with rage as he lifts his hand and slaps me across the face hard enough that my head turns to the side. The sting makes my eyes water.

He grabs onto my face, forcing me to turn and look at him. He pushes me back until I slam into the tiled wall behind me, pushing the air from my lungs. “Don’t act like what I am saying is not the truth, bitch. Everything I do to you, you love, you just won’t admit it to yourself,” he says in a low, dark voice. He is trying to justify what he is doing, what he will force me to do.

“I don’t want this, and I don’t want you,” I say with as much confidence as I can, which at this moment, is not fucking much.

“Too fucking bad. Whores don’t get to choose who they fuck. They take the cock they are given,” he says with rage. So much rage.

“What do you want from me, Gus? Why are you doing this?” I ask in a shaky voice.

“They have fucking everything. Everything! Now, it is my turn to have someone to play with. They don’t get you, too,” he says through gritted teeth.

His words echo in my head, causing my heart to stop momentarily. His eyes rapidly search mine, and then he smashes his lips to mine. The kiss he takes is rough and demanding. He pulls back, and his eyes are filled with rage and desire.

He releases my face. “Get on your fucking knees bitch.”

I shake my head, and he slaps me again. “Don’t make me hurt you, Bella. Get on your motherfucking knees and take my cock like the good little whore you are.”

“Please!” I beg as tears stream down my face.

A smile forms across his lips. “I love it when you beg. Now get on your fucking knees. Good whores suck cock, and you will be my good whore,” he growls.

My body shakes as I get on my knees in front of him. I feel disgusting and dirty. Everything that was bringing me peace before, the memory of Harley and Dante and what we have just done, is now tainted with this new memory I will have. A memory that will once again remind me that all I am is a fucking whore.

Gus grabs onto his cock and wraps his other hand in my hair, pushing me forward. I open my mouth because I am afraid of what he will do to me if I don’t do as he tells me to. He shoves his cock into my mouth and down my throat. He isn’t wasting any time as he fucks my throat, making me gag around him. He groans as he holds me against his stomach and plugs my nose, cutting off my airway.

“You are my whore, Bella. You will take my cock, and enjoy every moment of it. You will remember the feeling of my cock when they claim you, and you will know in the back of your mind that you are mine,” he says through a growl.

He released my nose and pulled back as I was about to black out. I suck in a quick breath before he thrusts back into my mouth, forcing me to take him to the back of my throat. Tears escape my eyes and roll down my face.

“You are such a good little whore,” he says through a moan.

I close my eyes and do nothing because there is nothing I can do but take it.

---