Page 29 of Beautiful Beasts

I smile at him and walk around the room, scanning the titles and enjoying the comforting smell of old books, leather, and what I associate with Harley. He watches me as I walk over to the small side table next to one of the leather chairs. I sit down, tucking my legs underneath me as I grab a small stack of books sitting there.

I have always loved books and have a thing for the dark and twisted. The stories I have read made me feel like I am not alone and that I am not crazy for wanting to be needed and wanted the way I am. Most people wouldn’t understand that to the rest of the world, I am looked down upon for my desires and wants, but inside these kinds of books, I am not on the outside. I understand.

The one on top is titled Fatal Vows, A Dark Why Choose Romance; the next one is Breathe into Me, another dark romance, and a few others. I look at the shelves I am sitting next to and find a whole section of more books like the ones in my lap. The dark books, the ones that most wouldn’t read, the ones that help me to heal, or at least heal as much as I can.

I look away from the bookshelf and look back at Harley. His stare is intense, just like everything else about him. “Have a thing for dark romance?” I ask, amused, trying to hide my smile.

He nods and smiles. “Yes, I have a thing for dark romance, erotica, actually,” he clarifies, making me chuckle.

Who would have thought the big scary killer would be into reading erotica? This man continues to shock the shit out of me. When he gets the fire going, he stands up and makes his way over to me. He kneels in front of me and takes the books from my lap, setting them back on the table.

He stares into my eyes. “I get lost in the darkness of these books. In these books, I feel understood,” he confesses softly.

I get it; I do. “I can understand that,” I reply softly.

“These books don’t judge, and they don’t try to make me change who I am inside. Inside these pages, stories are told of other beasts and their darkness,” he explains.

I have never seen him so vulnerable, and it makes me see him in a different light. We aren’t that different in this sense. Harley turns his attention to the books, momentarily lost in thought, but then he looks at me, tilting his head to the side, studying me. The look in his eyes makes my stomach twist, my heart race, and my pussy pulse.

I can feel my face heat, and I run my tongue across my bottom lip. His eyes followed the movement. “I think we are living in a dark romance right now,” I joke lightly.

He slowly nods. “Yes, you could say that,” he says in a low, husky voice.

I lean forward, my lips almost touching his. His breathing is steady and even, and he doesn’t move. His eyes search mine. “There is nothing wrong with your darkness, Harley.”

“There is nothing wrong with yours either, Bella,” he whispers. His scent consumes me; it’s a mix of leather and a woodsy scent.

I sit back in the seat, and Harley slowly stands up and hands me one of the books. I look down and grab the book, seeing he handed me Breathe into Me. I look back up at him, but he quickly turns around and settles into the other chair with a book.

The fire is roaring now, heating the room nicely. I get comfortable in the chair, open the book, and slowly review the trigger and content warnings. I have never needed to read them, but I love using them like a shopping list. The darker the book, the twistier and smuttier it is, the better. It makes me feel a little more normal, whatever the fuck that means.

I look at Harley and notice he has the Fatal Vow book in his hand. “What is that one?”

“It is one of my favorites. It is a why choose, about two men who are best friends and criminals. They fall in love with one woman who comes from an abusive past and present. Her husband stalks her and tries to get her back,” He says softly, watching me closely.

“What happens?’ I ask curiously. Some dark romances have a happily ever after or a happily ever after for now, but some don’t get one at all. I am curious to find out what ending one of his favorite books has.

“They earn her love and protect her, and her husband, well, I think he took the easy way out, but it is a story of love, understanding, and healing,” he passionately explains.

I rest my head against the chair as Harley continues to tell me about the book. He is very passionate about the story and the topic. I think he is hinting at the why choose part; I get it.

My feelings still don’t make sense, and honestly, they scare me, but I am starting to see that my feelings are not just one-sided.

And that means all of this has become much more dangerous for all of us.

Like the books that Harley and I read, there is always trauma, a peak when something happens to the main female character, and I have a feeling that the peak of our story hasn’t happened yet.

And that has me terrified.

20

Harley

“Toxic” by Omida feat. Rick Jansen

I sit back in the chair as the flames from the fire heat the room around us. Bella has been asking questions about some of my favorite books. It is nice to share my thoughts about my books. I keep them hidden, making sure that others don’t touch what doesn’t belong to them. But I mostly hide them because they are my weakness. I want to be more like the main male characters in the books I read, and wondering if a man like me is just too dark, too fucking twisted to have a happily ever after like I read about.

I wanted to give her something, a piece of me that I hadn’t given to anyone else. The only thing I can give her right now is this room and the books that live here. I want to give her more, but I can’t, not yet. I have to be patient and earn the right to touch and have her, and I haven’t done that yet. After Dante and I spoke, he called me out on things I was trying to deny myself because of his feelings for her. But after our conversation, he explained that we gave her something she was missing, and he wasn’t upset with me for falling for her. He understood, and now I need to figure my shit out.

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