Page 28 of Beautiful Beasts

I would die for her.

I would burn the entire world to have her by my side for the rest of my life.

There is no coming back from this.

There is no escaping it.

We will all burn together.

19

Bella

“Put It On Me” by Matt Maeson

I wrap my arms tightly around myself as I look across the rose bushes one more time before I lift my head and look up at the cloud-filled sky. It will rain again, washing our world clean, or at least trying to. But there will never be enough rain to wash the blood away from this city, and there will never be enough rain to wash away my sins or anyone else’s.

The purest thing is these white rose bushes, the bushes Dante has grown for the memory of his mother. He has told me that I remind him of his mother with my kindness and purity. I don’t have the heart to tell him that I am not kind nor pure, that I am just another dirty whore who was created by the men who took what they wanted.

I want to be pure and be the woman he sees when he looks at me, but I don’t know if I ever will be able to live up to the image of me he has inside his head. I fear that I will always fall short, and that is why I have tried to keep some distance, but I am failing. I failed in the shower and have failed since being brought into this house. I know increasing my distance is the best thing for them and me, but I am a selfish fucking woman, and deep down, I want them to burn alongside me.

Harley and Dante see me as pure and kind, but the truth is I am dirty and cruel. I am filled with a kind of darkness that people speak of in nightmares. They just haven’t seen that I have tainted them and their world, but they will. I see it, and I can’t outrun it.

I am what I am.

I am who I am.

There is nothing that can change it.

I take a deep breath as the first raindrop hits my face. I lower my head and slowly begin to make my way around the house and up the stairs leading to the front door. I walk past Gus, but he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t have to; things have been weird since the kitchen encounter. I am uneasy, but I do my best to hide it. I don’t want him to know that his words have affected me and have tainted my mind, making me even more damaged than I already was.

If he is wanting me to doubt my place here, he is getting exactly what he fucking wants. Even after Dante confessed his feelings for me, Gus’ voice played on a loop inside my head, replacing anything and everything Dante had told me that he had confessed to me.

Gus’ words have truth to them, which is why they hurt so fucking badly.

I stop when I run into someone, my thoughts taking me away again. “Shit, I am sorry,” I say softly as I look up, locking eyes with Harley.

My heart races as he looks me up and down. He makes me feel naked even though I am clothed. My skin heats under his intense gaze.

“Are you okay?” Harley asks concerned.

I nod. “Yes, just got lost in my thoughts, that’s all,” I reply softly. It is not a complete lie.

“I think I can help with that,” he says with a smile.

He reaches out, I place my hand in his, and he leads me deeper into the mansion. This house is so fucking big, there are still rooms I haven’t been in, and I feel lost half the time. I stick to the routes I know, trying to make it look like I belong here and know where things are, but I don’t.

Harley stays quiet as he releases his grip on my hand and pushes open two large wooden doors. I can feel his excited energy as he watches my face. I have never been on this side of the mansion before. Harley walks into the room and turns around, beckoning me into the room. I smile at his antics, but my eyes must double in size when I take in the beautiful room. My eyes dart in every direction, admiring all the books that fill the floor-to-ceiling bookcases.

“This is where I go to escape my thoughts. Now, it can be yours too,” Harley says softly as he walks across the room and stops in front of a massive stone fireplace.

He kneels and begins building a fire as I admire the room. There is a large window that overlooks the yard with a window seat that is covered in pillows and blankets. Everything about this room is inviting. There’s a leather couch with more pillows and blankets positioned back in front of the fireplace, two matching leather wingbacked chairs sit at each end of the sofa, and positioned in the center on top of a black rug that looks like it would be soft to lay on, is a glass-covered coffee table.

“Thank you,” I whisper. No one has ever given me things before, at least not like Dante and now Harley. Most of the men in my life have only taken from me, and I never asked for or wanted the things they gave me. They all wanted me to want them, but I never did.

Dante has given me safety and security and, in his way, is trying to give himself to me. Harley is giving me a place I can escape and get lost in, a place that might give me peace from my negative thoughts and memories, and in his way, he is also trying to give me a piece of him. They both surprise and warm me in ways I can’t put into words, which is why my heart is telling me that Gus is wrong about Dante and Harley. At least, I fucking hope he is wrong about them.

I sit on the edge of the couch and watch Harley build a fire. He turns and looks at me. “I hope this place will help you escape when you need it.”

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