Page 40 of Watching Ames

Slowly, Bex’s death-grip loosened on my fingers as she relaxed next to me, chatting with Alex about some kind of hacking technique or program that went straight over my head, and even bonding with Dev over the mixed martial arts she was into.

What surprised me the most was how coolly she treated Wren, shutting down Wren’s attempts at friendly communication with single word answers or blank looks. It was unnerving, seeing how anyone could respond negatively to Wren’s sunny personality, and I wondered what Wren could have possibly done in such a short time to earn Bex’s indifference.

As the sun set and the food finished cooking on the grill, our little party moved to the patio furniture, which we hadn’t been able to appreciate during Bex’s interrogation earlier. Dev and Wren sprawled across a loveseat with their food, Wren wiggling deep into the cushion on an exaggerated sigh.

“My butt appreciates the break from sitting on the patio, so thanks for that, Ames,” she told me, lifting her beer toward me in thanks.

Dev mimicked her movements, cheering, “Hear, hear,” as he reclined as much as his long body could on a loveseat made for sitting rather than slouching.

“Next, a pool!”

“I think we should probably get the house decorated before moving onto any large-scale renovations, Wren.” Right as the words left my mouth, that rational part of my brain screamed at the implications in my words, and I quickly corrected myself. “Alex’s house is almost entirely empty. He doesn’t have a drying rack or nightstands or a mirror.”

But my words fell on deaf ears, Dev and Wren bickering over who was taking up more space on the loveseat, Wren’s much shorter legs trying to stretch across the space to fight for more room against Dev’s larger body. A deep voice in my ear drew my attention away from them, causing goosebumps to break out over my skin.

“Could use a shower curtain for the guest bathroom too, unless you want me to continue sneaking in to shower while you’re sleeping.”

I was grateful for the setting sun that hid my blush at the images his words painted in my mind. I pulled up my phone to start making a list for Alex, letting my hair fall in a short curtain around my face to further hide my reddening cheeks. But that didn’t work for long, Alex’s fingers reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ear as his head emerged over my shoulder, chin resting on my shoulder as my thumbs typed out the list. He named a few more items for me to add, quiet murmurs that culminated in a list of a couple dozen items that could easily be picked up between a couple of department stores.

“I have meetings most of the day tomorrow,” Alex told me, apology already in his voice as he asked, “Would you mind going without me?”

“Alex, I can’t pick out things for your house without your input,” I protested, though it was half-hearted since I knew what he would say before his mouth opened.

“Your input is the only input I care about. So you can go without me or you can wait until we can go together, but the results will be the same.”

I sighed at his words but didn’t bother complaining, the evidence of his sincerity surrounding us, the silver of the patio cushions shining dimly in the firelight. Alex was saved from further argument as the sky lit up with the first burst of fireworks, the display from a park a few miles away from the house.

After the fireworks and two bags of marshmallows, Dev and Wren were yawning enough to put the night to an end, the two of them heading home close to midnight. Bex had escaped a couple hours before, after promising to keep in touch and unblock my number, the last reminder enough to make her subtly wince.

Alex shooed me away while he cleaned up the kitchen and put out the fire, ignoring my protests when I yawned mid-way through my argument to help him. I took my time washing my face and changing into pajamas, then settled into bed, the slightest smell of smoke from the fire clinging to my skin as I closed my eyes.

Sleep caught me almost instantly. But instead of the dreams I was used to being haunted by - Alex’s voice torturing me with promises of what he’d do to me - another familiar voice drifted through my mind, sending a cold sweat over my skin as I jerked awake.

This is what you want, isn’t it? You’re telling me this shit turns you on? You’re disgusting. Put my girlfriend on the phone.

Peter’s words played in picture-perfect clarity, running through my mind with reminders of why I was in Alex’s home, spending time with his friends. It wasn’t a vacation or a party; it was a refuge, allowing me to keep my distance from Peter. And even when I was starting to adjust, making friends with Wren and Dev and becoming more comfortable in Alex’s space, Peter found a way to dig his claws back into my brain, the phone call that morning throwing me off more than I wanted to admit.

Every hum of the air conditioner sounded like my phone vibrating, the pop of fireworks like the door slamming as I ran away from Peter, and the whisper of the sheets as I tossed and turned sounded more and more like Peter’s voice in my ear as the minutes passed. Eventually I gave in, crawling out of bed and tiptoeing across the hall to the already-open door, catching sight of Alex’s long body sprawled across the sheets. It was the look of him, soft and handsome in his sleep, lips curving in a half-smile even in his dreams, that spurred me on, forcing my feet across the threshold.

I reached out a hand, lightly touching his shoulder as I whispered his name.

Alex’s eyes opened immediately at my touch, muscles tense as if perceiving a threat, but they quickly softened when he saw me standing there, reading my face and what I wanted in an instant. He tugged my arm as he rolled, catching me as I fell onto the bed and turning my body until I was tucked against his chest, head nestled just under his chin. His arm wrapped around my waist in a vice, and instead of hating the tight quarters, having Alex’s body wrapped around mine made me feel safer, knowing he wouldn’t let Peter or anyone else get to me.

I fell asleep within minutes, nightmares replaced by the steady sound of Alex’s heartbeat in my ear.

* * *

I wokeup to an empty bed, but the slight pang in my chest didn’t get the chance to settle when I heard the clatter of pans on the stove and smelled brewing coffee through the open doorway. I showered and dressed casually, knowing most of my day would be spent shopping.

Our morning routine was quickly becoming familiar, a cup of coffee already sitting in my spot as Alex pulled bagels out of the toaster and passed one in my direction with some cream cheese. He took the seat next to me and watched as I waited for the bagel to cool before smearing on cream cheese, and I was sure the next time we had bagels, mine would already be prepared. As I took a few bites of my breakfast, I watched as he prepared his own, determined to make an effort to remember as many of his habits as he did mine.

“Are you still planning on going shopping today?”

“Yeah, I’ll probably hit up a department store and then maybe a couple of home decor-type places, see what I can find.”

“Great, let me grab you a couple of things.” Alex polished off his bagel as he headed toward the foyer, returning with a set of keys and his wallet. He pulled out his credit card and coupled it with a set of car keys, holding both in my direction to take.

“What’re the keys to?”

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