Page 44 of One More Betrayal

“I know I don’t,” she says. “But it’s more than that. I’m finally getting to make my own choices. I’m not ready to give that up. I’m enjoying being free again. And that includes living in my house.”

“Can I at least install a security alarm in it? Think of it as not only for you but also for Bailey.”

She doesn’t answer.

“That’s why you’re constantly looking over your shoulder, isn’t it? Because of what your late husband did and because of your time in prison?”

“It’s been trained into my nervous system. My husband stalked me during our marriage because he didn’t trust me. Every move I made, he knew about. It got worse later on, before he was murdered. But it’s similar to how it is for you and your brothers. You’re all vigilant—constantly on alert for danger.”

She’s right. My brothers and I haven’t gotten that out of our systems. I’m not sure we ever will. Our synapses have been rewired that way. “We’re not talking about me and my brothers. We’re talking about you, Jess. You didn’t ask for any of that to happen. The abusive husband. The prison sentence. The PTSD. The constant need to be alert.”

“And you and your brothers did?” She raises an eyebrow as if to challenge me. “I’m working on it, Troy. Robyn is helping me to learn to trust and not be hypervigilant. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel safe again. But I’m also learning that I can’t stop living while I try to make it happen.”

“So is that a vote for the security system?”

“Would it make you happier if I said yes?” Her voice sounds…not resigned…but…soft. Placating.

Well, shit, I’ll take what I can get when it comes to keeping you safe. “It would let me breathe again knowing you’re safe while at home. I’ve lost people I loved. They either died because of a flesh-and-blood enemy or because of an invisible one. Because of PTSD.” I swallow down the pain at the memory of those I have lost. “Our pasts have changed us both. Before the Marines, I wouldn’t have been so overprotective. If it makes you feel any better, it drives my mother nuts too.”

Jess leans into me on the couch, and I put my good arm around her waist. “Is it also that way for your brothers?” she asks.

“We’ve all had to deal with our own demons, and we’ve dealt with them in our own ways. We’re better, but our time in the Marines has left scars—both physical and psychological.”

Her gaze travels over my face as if she’s attempting to get a better read on me. “Okay, I’ll get the security alarm. But can you not say anything about what I told you to anyone else? I’m going to tell Kellan about my husband. But I’d rather no one else knows. I…I’m…he…”

My heart breaks at the pain and shame paling her face, and I nod. I can’t know what she went through, but I can guess what she might be thinking. And she’s wrong. No one will blame her for what happened. It wasn’t her fault. Everything that happened to her was her late husband’s fault. And the person who framed her for his death.

“I won’t tell anyone, and that includes Garrett and Lucas. If you want to tell them, that’s up to you.” I brush my thumb under her shadow-crested eyes. “Maybe the security alarm will help you sleep better.”

“Maybe.” She doesn’t sound too convinced.

My thumb moves to her mouth. “Are you gonna stay in my bed tonight so I can keep an eye on you?” A teasing smile slips onto my lips, masking the real reason I want her to be with me.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“I do. Neither of us can do anything. Between my injured shoulder and your bruised ribs, we’ll have to be a little more creative for a while when it comes to having sex.” I brush my mouth against hers. “We should probably wait at least a week before we attempt it.” Another brush of my mouth. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t kiss.”

“We can definitely kiss. And…and maybe now you know the truth about my past…” Something flickers in her eyes. “Maybe we can change our relationship’s no-label policy. I mean, if that’s what you want.”

Hell, yes. That’s exactly what I want. “You mean I get to officially call you my girlfriend?” I grin once more, pouring what I think of her suggestion into the smile. Pouring everything I feel about her into it.

“Yes. That’s what I mean.”

“Let me just clarify—you’re going to refer to me as your boyfriend? Because that’s also what I want.” So there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind we’re together—in case they didn’t get that from our hand-holding over the past month.

I briefly press my mouth to hers again.

“Yes to all of that.” She parts her lips and lets me deepen the kiss. And, Christ, I’ve missed kissing her. I always miss kissing her, especially when we’re working together given her strict no-kissing-at-work policy.

“And I’m thinking I should go on the pill,” she says. “Since I’m going to be your girlfriend.”

“If you’re okay with that…going on the pill, I mean.”

She smiles against my mouth. “I am.”

The doorbell rings.

I ignore it and keep kissing Jess.

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