Page 56 of Fool's Desire

"What, and you love Anita, do you?"

"You don't love her," Joel whispered again in desperation.

"What are you trying to get at, Joel? You think it's any great hardship for me to sleep in the same bed with her? You think I don't want to make love to her, those days when I've woken up beside her. You think I won't take her to the club as my submissive?"

Joel made a strangled noise deep in his throat.

"Because I can guarantee you, cousin, it's not, I do, and I will."

Joel's ragged breaths were audible.

"There's only one thing that could stop me marrying Desi," Jake snarled, getting right up into Joel's face and calling his bluff. "And he's not man enough to admit what he truly wants, let alone take it. He prides himself on his control, when, really, he's just running away from reality like a pathetic little kid who just can't handle the truth. You call that control, Joel? I call it cowardice. So, don't ever think to lecture me on my relationships when you can't even handle your own and when I'm pretty sure you're condemning yourself to a life sentence with a woman you don't even like…"

Jake pressed the button for the lift and as he walked through the open doors, he looked back to where Joel stood doubled over with his hands on his knees, looking like a man who was in pain.

"At least, Desi and I will be happy, Joel. Will you?" he asked as the doors slid closed.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Joel leaned back on the wall next to the elevator and braced his arm on one of his knees as he rubbed his sternum with his free hand. He wondered if he'd eaten something bad because his chest hurt and he felt light headed and nauseous. A gurgle of almost hysterical laughter bubbled up in his throat and he straightened against the wall, throwing his head back and banging it against the hard surface.

Was he ever going to be honest with himself? he wondered, just as his father came out of his suite, walking over to his son with his hands on his hips and a scowl on his face.

"You look like shit, Joel. What's going on?" Joseph asked, watching his son's demeanour all too astutely.

Joel shook his head and closed his eyes, pushing back on the wall until he stood on his own two feet. Before he could speak, the elevator doors slid open again and Anita glided out. Joel gritted his teeth against the irritation he constantly felt towards her. It was only temporary, surely. Just a residual consequence of the vile words he'd overheard her spouting about Jake. It would blow over, eventually.

"Urgh!" Anita shuddered. "I've just had to share the lift compartment with your perverted cousin."

Joel stiffened and, from the corner of his eye, saw his father's face redden with indignation.

"Anita!" Joseph reprimanded, but, clearly, the woman was already too confident of her position to guard her tongue.

"Oh, come on, Joseph," she sniffed. "I'm about to become part of this family; there's no need to keep up the pretence around me anymore."

"Pretence?" Joseph sputtered.

Joel watched in a kind of morbid fascination as his father's colour grew deeper the more enraged he became, even as he wondered if Anita really didn't comprehend what a serious faux pas she was making. He supposed he ought to intervene, but somehow, he couldn't quite bring himself to protect this woman against her own prejudice. Especially since everything she said about Jake, she indirectly levelled at him, too. Could he really marry a woman who would think the same things about him as she believed about his cousin? Would he be able to keep that part of his life a secret from her? Joel furrowed his brow. Did he really want to live his life like that? Jake's recent words rang in his ears… 'Does Anita accept you for who you are, Joel? Does she even know who you are, what you like, what your kinks are? Will you actually tell her, or are you planning to spend your whole life living a lie?' Joel sucked in a breath as reality kicked in and the scene between his father and his fiancée continued to unfold.

"I'm not sure you're welcome in this family with that kind of attitude, my girl," Joseph uttered coldly, holding himself carefully still in a tell-tale stance that Joel knew meant his father was dangerously close to exploding, but Anita didn't read the warning signs. Instead, she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, please!" Anita snorted. "Every family has its embarrassments; you don't need to shield me from it. Although, I'll admit that I'd prefer you to keep him away from me, whenever possible."

"I think the feeling's mutual," Joel muttered under his breath.

Joseph's mouth opened and closed in disbelief, and Joel knew the eruption was close and probably inevitable by now. He felt strangely unmoved by this potentially calamitous altercation between his father and his fiancée, but even that knowledge didn't induce him to step in before things went too far. Instead, he wondered why he'd never noticed how narrow minded and bigoted Anita was.

"My nephew is not an embarrassment, and neither is he a pervert!" Joseph growled through gritted teeth.

Anita shook her head. "Look, I understand that we don't talk about it. I realise I was out of line mentioning it to Desirae Harper at the charity ball, but it's just us here. Surely, we can at least be honest with each other."

Joel stared at Anita as if he'd never seen her before. Maybe he never truly had. How on earth was she ever going to play the role of corporate wife adequately with a mind-set like that? When he had to do business with sheiks with multiple wives, was she going to prove an embarrassment and potential risk to his ventures with her intolerant outlook? He had occasion to meet with a lot of rich ranchers, but they were working men…would she look down her nose at their dusty boots and battered cowboy hats? Some of his friends were openly gay. If she considered Jake a pervert based on rumour and innuendo, how would she react towards overtly alternative relationships? Joel paled at the thought of the damage she might wreak.

"You did what at the charity ball?" Joseph seethed, fisting his hands by his sides.

"I told her, of course. I thought she deserved to know the truth."

"The truth!" Joseph roared. "You wouldn't know the truth if it jumped up and bit you on your prejudiced, intolerant nose! How dare you spread decade old tittle-tattle conjured up by some scheming gossip columnist who twisted the truth in order to further her career."

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