Page 3 of Fool's Desire

"She's got a nice spankable ass," came another male voice outside her sphere of vision.

Daisy stiffened as the icy feeling in her stomach morphed into nausea at the way they were casually objectifying her like she wasn't a living, breathing person with feelings that might be battered and bruised by the cavalier comments and offhand remarks they carelessly threw into the conversation.

"Spanking's about all that fucking fat arse is good for," Eric mocked derisively. "No wonder you always fuck her from behind over a spanking bench. At least you don't have to be reminded of how short she is or look at all that 'afro' hair. She has freckles!" he declared as if it were some kind of unthinkable indiscretion. "And she wears a bow like a ten-year-old, for Christ's sake! Kidde by name, kid by nature!"

Daisy sucked in a breath at his vitriol, mutely rooted to the spot as a trembling began deep in the core of her body while some distant part of her mind whispered that Joel did always seem to make love to her from behind. But she couldn't dwell on the fleeting thought as yet another voice contributed to her verbal torment.

"What about Anita Howard? Didn't you take her out to dinner a few times recently?"

Daisy felt a stabbing pain close to her heart as she thought of the woman she'd often noticed flirting with Joel. Secure in her relationship, she'd never felt threatened by the undeniably beautiful girl; Joel had never seemed to reciprocate.

"Mm-mm," someone else declared with obvious appreciation of Anita. "Tall, svelte and gorgeous. Didn't she accompany you and your family to that charity function last week? You lucky bastard!"

Heartsick and disillusioned, Daisy shuddered as she felt something inside her break as Joel just grinned and saluted with his beer bottle. "She is a knockout!" While Jake, a man she considered one of her closest friends, frowned and shook his head at his cousin but said nothing.

Feeling suddenly lightheaded, Daisy leaned on the door for support and it swung open, drawing the gaze of each man in the room. She felt the blood drain from her face like a physical force and her hands trembled as goose bumps raced up her arms and shivered at the back of her neck as the weight of their scrutiny swept over her, leaving her sick to the pit of her stomach. The last thing she wanted to do was face these men and their nonchalant disrespect.

"Oh God! Talk of the devil. It's 'kiddie' time, everyone." Eric narrowed his gaze at Joel. "Maybe you've got more kink than we know about? Fancy yourself as one of those 'daddy' Doms who wants to spank his 'little girl'. You should be careful, though, any younger and you might just find yourself on the wrong side of legal, although I guess she does a good job of dressing the part." Eric sneered nastily, but Daisy's dazed mind narrowed its focus on Joel and blessedly she blanked out everyone else in the room.

Tears welled in her big brown eyes as Joel looked over in surprise, then let out an audible breath and rolled his eyes, intensifying the throbbing ache of her anguish. She was taken aback by the angry eyes he turned on her and Daisy heard the low keening moan and was vaguely aware that the noise had come from herself as she tried to back away.

"Can it, Eric." Daisy vaguely heard Logan's rebuke as Jake moved towards her, a look of devastated concern on his handsome face. He reached out just as she felt her knees turn to water. Daisy dipped slightly but unconsciously evaded his grasp, gritting her teeth and bracing her legs against the weakness as her defensive instincts took over and she turned and fled, a cacophony of muddled voices echoing up the stairwell behind her and taunting in her wake.

"Well, that sucked the fun out of our evening."

"That's one way to get rid of her."

"Let her go."

"There's no point talking to her until she's calmed down."

"Is Anita interested in the club?"

Daisy sucked in wheezing breaths as she tried to regain her equilibrium against the pain that threatened to rob her of everything—even as she yearned for Joel to come after her, to cradle her in his arms and whisper soothing words, to shroud her in his love and make everything better. Who'd have guessed that something as ephemeral as mere words could cause a hurt that felt so very physical, some disconnected part of her brain observed hysterically.

"Daisy!" Jake shouted as he raced up the steps behind her. He grasped her arm just as she got to the front door, but Daisy shook him off forcefully.

"Wait!" he panted, looking desperately back at the basement stairs as she fumbled with the latch, but there was no sign of Joel. Clearly, he didn't care enough to even check if she was okay. He had seen the agony of pain etched on her face, observed the tears that trembled on her lashes, the shaking which had threatened to floor her. He'd heard the anguished cry of torment that she thought might have been wrenched from her very soul and still not been moved to ensure any part of her welfare.

"Just let me go!" Daisy's faint voice broke entirely as she finally mastered the catch and flung back the door, not bothering to close it or even look back as she rushed out into the street oblivious to the angry honk of horns as she ran, blindly, into the road, dodging traffic in a desperate bid to get away, even though she knew it was impossible to outrun these particular demons. She just had to get out of there before she fell apart and completely humiliated herself by sinking into a blubbering mess of unfettered, chaotic emotions and poured out her anguish in the middle of the street. Pulling determination around her like a mantle, Daisy concentrated solely on regulating her erratic breathing and putting one foot in front of the other as she made her way back to the relative security of her hall of residence without shattering.

Charlotte wasn't in when she got back to their shared dorm room, and for that, Daisy breathed a sigh of relief. She needed a little time alone to get herself together and order her thoughts. She sat motionless on the bed staring at nothing and clutching at the side of the mattress for support. She felt as if her entire being had splintered into hundreds of minute pieces and that the tiniest movement would see her fragment.

Daisy Kidde had led a charmed life; she had a loving family with an ample income. Despite her father's death, there were no childhood traumas in her life because he'd died before she was born and her mother had remarried when she was still a tot, to a man who had brought her up as his own. She was popular, pretty and clever. She had never been bullied or teased, she had never suffered from any crisis of confidence, and she was always optimistic and up-beat. Now she felt like she'd had the proverbial rug pulled out from under her feet, and she was at a loss at how to process it all.

Raw emotions washed over her in tumultuous waves, battering her suddenly fragile ego and saturating her with an unfamiliar vulnerability. Daisy felt like she was drowning, unable to think coherently or pinpoint her spiralling feelings. Pain, humiliation, rage, embarrassment, shock, distress, shame, grief, indignation, helplessness, misery—an uncontrollable, whirling mass of reaction. Too many to follow but one all-encompassing reality. Daisy hurt like she had never hurt before. Hurt in a way that was beyond her comprehension; emotionally, mentally. In her hyper-sensitive state, it even felt like her bones ached with her torment and Daisy didn't know how to deal with it. She had no personal criteria for comparison. She was too overcome even to cry.

She didn't know how long she sat there in a complete stupor; it felt like a lifetime. Eventually, Daisy's protective inertia abated enough for her to start the process of painfully examining her memory of the devastating scene she had encountered in Joel's basement. Each excruciating recollection felt like probing at an aching tooth—poke too hard and a shard of agony shot through you.

Did Joel and all his friends really view her as some sort of dizzy blonde bimbo with nothing meaningful to contribute? Did they all consider her childish? Involuntarily, Daisy's hand strayed to today's lilac bow in her hair. She rubbed the satin absently between her fingers before dropping her hand as she unconsciously rubbed at the arctic chill that suddenly skittered down her arms.

Why hadn't Joel made any effort to defend her? Did she really mean that little to him? Daisy loved him with all her heart. In her mind, she had seen their future—wedding, home, children—she had naively thought Joel felt the same, but as she reviewed their eighteen-month relationship, she started to wonder if all she had been to him was just a convenient piece of ass he could mould to fit his kink. Eric's malice rang in her ears, 'No wonder you always take her from behind…' Humiliation flooded Daisy's soul and she dragged in a noisy, fractured breath as the vice around her chest tightened painfully. She didn't want to go there, but she couldn't deny the truth in his words. If they had sex in any other position, Joel always blindfolded her. The only exception had been when she had given him the gift of her virginity. Daisy bit her lip until a droplet of blood seeped onto her tongue, but she was impervious to the pain as she took that precious memory and wrapped it up, mentally tucking it away into a secret corner of her mind where it couldn't be tarnished by the ugliness of what had transpired, keeping it safe while all her other senses deadened and her eyes stared sightlessly into the spiralling vortex of her confusion and heartache. Did Joel think she was fat, like Eric obviously did? Daisy was undeniably curvy and would never be stick thin, but she'd never considered herself overweight. Could Joel not bear to look at her? Did he simply view her as just a temporary submissive?

Anita Howard, Joel had taken her out to dinner. More than once. He'd never mentioned that to Daisy. Why would he keep it a secret unless he had something to hide? He never took Daisy out to dinner. Not unless you counted the burger bar on campus. Daisy suspected that Joel hadn't taken Anita to the burger bar. He thought Anita was 'a knockout'. Joel hadn't said anything positive about Daisy. Not in conversation, not in her defence. Did he not want to be seen with Daisy socially? Did he think she wasn't good enough for him? Was he embarrassed by her? Was that why Mrs. Myrtle always looked down at her. Did the housekeeper think she wasn't good enough for Joel? He had taken Anita Howard to his fancy charity dinner with his family. Daisy remembered that night. She had naively imagined that he might invite her to go with him; she had secretly looked forward to dressing up and meeting his parents. But Joel had persuaded her that it was a boring formality that he would have to endure and that he planned to cut out as soon as possible. He had convinced her that she wouldn't enjoy it. Yeah, pretty hard to explain another woman with your girlfriend present.

For one hysterical moment, Daisy wondered exactly which one of them would have been viewed as the other woman. She had a sick feeling that it may well have been her.

Had Joel just been biding his time all along, waiting until he found some elegant, sophisticated woman with a more influential background than her own? Sowing his wild oats and getting the kink out of his system until the time came for him to settle down respectably?

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