Page 68 of Sustain

“No…?”

“A lot.” He gazes into the fire, lost in his own thoughts for a moment, regret still coloring his face.

“Ian, I understand now why you did it. You can stop beating yourself up about it.” I reach over and rub his upper arm, trying to convey the truth in my own words. “I love your girls.”

He turns, and his eyes are almost pained, but I can’t entirely read his expression in the flickering firelight.

“Do you mean that?” His voice is soft, disbelieving. I can’t believe he’d ever think I wouldn’t or couldn’t love his daughters.

“Of course, I do. They’re amazing.”

“So are you,” he says, shaking his head a little. “I thought…”

“Yeah, well, you need to stop doing that. You’re obviously no good at it, and it gets you into trouble,” I say, feigning sternness. My smile breaks through my façade, and he finally laughs.

“You’re right. It’s a problem. I overthink everything.”

“We do have that one thing in common, at least.”

An eyebrow arches at me in question. “Just the one thing?”

Before I can reply, he’s kissing me again, and I’m instantly lost in it. I’ve stopped fighting against this. It’s useless to even try.

This man has my heart. And I don’t miss it because I have his.

fifty

. . .

World in My Eyes

Ian

"Daddy, will Kenzie come with us on the airplane when we go back?"

I glance up from my laptop to see June watching Mackenzie gather the last receipts for the band reports across the room. Hayley looks up eagerly from where she's drawing at the coffee table.

"Um, well..." I catch Mackenzie's surprised eyes, temporarily stunned. We've only been dating - is'dating'even the right word here? For a matter of days. And reconciling from our past hurts a scant few longer. Would she even consider a trip with us?

Mackenzie opens her mouth but Hayley barrels on excitedly. "We could show her our play castle at Mummy’s and wear pretty dresses! We could have tea parties every day!"

A slightly panicked laugh escapes before I interject gently. "I don’t know if Mackenzie is up for trips and tea parties, little love." I cringe internally, hoping I haven't made presumptions. "We'll just focus on getting you two back safe and sound for now, yeah?"

Mackenzie moves behind the girls, meeting my apprehensive gaze steadily. "Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t been to a tea party in a long time." Her smile is apprehensive but encouraging.

“Oh, we have tiaras too,” Hayley announces, bouncing on her tiptoes now with excitement at the prospect of Mackenzie’s inclusion. “I know exactly which one you should wear. It’s got purple gems, just like your hair.”

I swing my glance back to Mackenzie, double-checking that she’s up for this.

“You know this would include you meeting my Mum?” I ask, not wanting to deter her, but wanting her to know what she’s getting into by agreeing to go.

She gives me a helpless shrug. She’s in for the long haul, apparently.

“Then, I guess I’m meeting your mom.”

fifty-one

. . .

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