Page 66 of Sustain

"Think we should keep making them guess until we get there?" Mac asks cheekily. I feel my smile widen seeing her shine so effortlessly with my girls. This New Year’s Day is beginning on an optimistic upswing.

I absofuckinglutely love it.

As I drive, the girls vibrate with conspiracy theories, the undercurrent of playful chatter already flowing smoother with Mackenzie here than entire strained visits with my own mum and ex. My entire being seems to settle.

This simply feels right.

"Canwe get our faces painted? Please, please, please?" Hayley tugs insistently at my hand as we pass the face art kiosk in Knott’s Berry Farm, already bustling with transformed children sporting tiger stripes and butterfly wings.

I chuckle, glancing at Mackenzie to gauge her interest. She grins down at my eager daughter. "You know, temporary tattoos could be pretty fun too..." She winks up at me with a shrug of her shoulder. “Just saying.”

Mackenzie has the girls utterly enraptured displaying her intricate ink. She shows them the flock of ravens silhouetted against a stunning purple sky on her inner forearm.

June's eyes round into awed saucers. "I want birdies just like you!"

"Oooh, me too!" Hayley confirms, then scrunches her nose, thoughtfully examining my fading punk tattoos. "But I think maybe I want a kitty for Stormy instead."

Soon they're settled into chairs, solemnly flipping through tattoo booklets while Mackenzie and I admire the samplesdisplayed on the walls. My heart swells as the artists transfer my daughters' careful selections onto their small arms.

Temporarily, of course.

When finished, the girls gleefully compare their body art: June with a small raven flock flying up her wrist, and Hayley sporting a prowling black cat that remarkably looks a lot like Stormy.

"Now we match you AND Daddy!" Hayley announces proudly, grabbing Mackenzie’s hand as we walk.

Mackenzie meets my undoubtedly soppy gaze, her own glinting playfully. "Aww."

Laughing, I pull her in for a quick kiss while the girls are distracted.

I could definitely get used to this.

Fireworks glitterin the night sky as Mackenzie gently sets a tuckered-out June into her car seat. I cradle a snoozing Hayley similarly amid stuffed animals won from various arcade games. The hero at work, yet again.

"They really did ring in the new year with a bang today, huh?" Mackenzie yawns with a soft smile, eyes tender on my daughters. I chuckle wearily, brushing a stray hair off Hayley’s face.

“That they did,” I agree. It’s been an exhausting day, but worth every single second of it.

Together Mackenzie and I make quick work buckling seatbelts around slumbering little bodies. My own is pleasantly spent too after a day of panning for gold, kiddie-thrill rides, and silly old-timey snapshots capturing our first blended memories.

I close the back door softly once the girls are tucked in for our drive home, then pause, struck by the entire image. Just twenty-four little hours ago, these two separate spheres of my life felt fractured and frenetic.

Now Mackenzie stands haloed by the streetlamp's glow, looking for all the world like she belongs here - with an ice cream-stained sweatshirt and haywire hair falling from purple ponytails.

My heart stutters imagining more days and nights and years comprised of just such imperfect domestic bliss crafted together. If someone had told me yesterday my existence could radically transform overnight, I'd have laughed in their fucking face.

But now?

A single sunrise was all we needed.

forty-nine

. . .

By Now

Mackenzie

I hover in the doorway of the girls’ room, leaning on the frame to give my sore leg a rest and listen to Hayley and June's deep breathing as Ian finishes up a chapter in a bedtime story written by some famous British chef. My chest clutches watching this private dad moment. Ian makes silly character voices while the girls fight laughing at him with heavy eyelids while they lean against his chest.

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