Page 60 of Sustain

"Well, it’s Ian. Turns out no one properly prepared the poor man on the required band accounting before the holiday madness. But I just spoke with him. He decided to return to LA early to tackle things from his home. I thought maybe since you’re an expert at those you could lend him a hand? I know you’ve already sent the templates…"

I wince in sympathy, knowing firsthand that frantic year-end feeling, but my heart sinks. He didn’t tell me he was back. I quickly compose myself, as usual, and turn back on my professionalism. "Of course, I’d be happy to help. I can offerIan guidance on getting the reports finalized now that he's back stateside."

"That would be amazing. I gave him an extension but having your expertise could really ensure he submits error-free." Eliza lets out a relieved breath. "Especially with the new chaos of a recently adopted cat too apparently? I don’t know how you people juggle all of these things, honestly. I can’t keep an artificial plant alive, and I don’t even travel as much as you guys do."

I feel an unconscious smile form. Stormy does happen to be a special cat to me after our separate misadventures in the Aspen mountains. Both of us were rescued by Ian. The thought warms me, despite my hurt. "Well, now I definitely have to visit and check on that little survivor. And I’ll give Ian an assist getting back on track with the paperwork."

After getting more details, and hanging up with Eliza, emotions war within me. On one hand, that sharp hurt simmers that Ian didn't tell me himself that he was back in LA. Yet I'm already grabbing my keys, intent on checking on the sweet rescue cat, and evidently offering accounting assistance to my floundering colleague, too.

Colleague.

If I'm honest with myself, it's more that I'm determined to finally have it out with Ian face-to-face. Chelsie was right back in Vegas. I need to lay it all out on the table, and let the cards fall where they may. Are we just colleagues now? Can I even do that after everything that’s happened between us?

I’m starting to think I care far more than I should about this man.

I harden my resolve as I grab Ian's gift off the desk. There’s only one way to find out. I refuse to let this pull between us vanish so easily without at least putting up a fight.

Time for answers. I need to know where I stand.

forty-four

. . .

Drowning

Ian

"Girls, c'mon, I'm begging you, Daddy needs to focus," I plead in vain over the tornado of scattered receipts, laptop, and Hayley and June's giggling couch cushion fort disaster area. They're lost in some fantasy land only kid brains can dream up.

I rub my eyes hard, longing for their giddiness. Eliza's reporting deadline extension is just a leaky dam against a flood of paperwork I'm drowning in at this point. What temporary insanity made me think flying overseas alone with my daughters would relax this workload avalanche? Though, to be fair, my thinking hasn’t exactly been straight lately.

The loud chime of the doorbell jars me alert just as Hayley tumbles more decorative pillows from the couch. I freeze, pulse jackhammering. We aren't expecting anyone. June grins impishly from atop the sofa back. "Daddy's in trouble…"

“Trouble? Me?” I scoff playfully. “I’m not the one that practically dismantled the couch to make a cat condo.”

I ruffle her hair on the way to see what fresh hell my horrible judgment has delivered now. Maybe it’s the millions of cat toys I ordered from the internet in a jet-lagged haze last night.

Then, I stop dead as I glimpse through the front door's stained glass.

No no no...

I turn the lock, pulse pounding. Mackenzie being here cannot be real, despite knowing this reckoning always lurked around the corner. The air leaves my body. But there's no hiding the two wild-haired little girls now flanking me, toys in hand.

“Who’s this, Daddy?” Hayley asks, always curious.

I meet Mackenzie's wide eyes, shock rooting me in place. Nothing to do but let the ugly truth flood out.

"Girls, this is my...friend, Mackenzie." I gesture helplessly. "Mackenzie, meet my daughters, Hayley and June."

"Happy New Year, ladies!" Mackenzie greets them with an admirably steady voice given her deer-in-headlights expression just moments ago.

The girls chorus excited hellos, June clinging shyly to my leg while Hayley approaches Mackenzie and takes her hand, always the social butterfly. "Look! We got a kitty, Stormy! Wanna meet her? She's daddy's friend too."

Mackenzie's eyes flash to mine as I rake a hand through my hair. "Ah, yes, Stormy." She’s already nodding slowly, not breaking my gaze. "We've...met before actually."

I wince, imagining the avalanche of questions brewing behind her overly polite smile. “Look, Mackenzie…” I start, desperately trying to find something to say about all this. Still, no words come to explain away my lies.

"Oh, um...here." Still taken off guard, Mackenzie passes the wrapped present over with an awkward shrug, allowing my effervescent daughter to continue guiding her down the hall.

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