Page 10 of The Bad Weather Friend

“Whoa there, Uncle Tal.”

The colonel took a moment to regroup. He lowered the warning finger and cleared his throat. “I do not wish to alarm you. Forgive me if I have done so. What you are about to receive is a blessing that will transform your life. It is a wonderful thing.” He smiled and nodded. “A wonderful thing. You will be receiving a call from Mayweather Universal Air Freight to arrange delivery. Eventually, you will celebrate your receipt of this great gift. Perhaps not right away. Certainly not right away. But eventually you will think of me with great fondness. In time. Given enough time.” The colonel smiled and nodded. “I am already fond of you, Benjamin, even though we’ve never met. You have suffered as I suffered. And like me, you didn’t let the pain and misery corrupt you. You have remainednice, just as I have remained nice. This I’ve been told about you by an irrefutable source. I love you for being so nice, dear nephew.” He nodded and smiled and pressed a hand over his heart. Then in the kindest, nicest way, he whispered, “Now, whatever happens, no matter what—be not afraid. There is no reason to be afraid, though there may seem to be. There may very much seem to be. But there is not. In my experience, at least, there is not. Trust me.”

The video ended. The screen went dark.

A long sigh escaped Benny Catspaw. He was not surprised to have been informed that he was about to receive a fantasticinheritance only to learn that his benefactor was three wheels short of being a fully functioning four-wheel-drive intellect. Such was life. His life anyway.

The airfreight shipment—if in fact one was impending—would no doubt prove to be a pot to piss in, broken en route, or a coupon for a free order of fries with the purchase of a Big Mac.

Well, in either case—or any other—this would be an amusing story to tell his and Jill’s children and grandchildren. Benny hoped to have four children with Jill Swift, two girls and two boys, and then at least eight or ten grandchildren. Having a family, a happy family, was the most important thing of all to him, because it was something that he’d never yet experienced. Being able to support a thriving family was what drove him to work so hard.

PLUGGED AND READY

Although he had only one eye, Gordie Armstrong was a tug cart driver who had worked twenty-two years for Mayweather Universal Air Freight with not a single work-related injury or negative report on his employment record. He had sustained the loss of an eye in one of the Middle East wars that politicians were eager to fight and just as eager to lose.

In spite of being disabled, though he had been betrayed by the very leaders who sent him into battle, he never complained, and he loved his country. Being practical and economically prudent, Gordie chose not to have a decorative eye installed in the empty socket, which was permanently sewn shut. He wore an eye patch; not the usual black one, but a patch that was a miniature American flag.

Now and then, one guy or another with an unfortunate attitude would make a mean remark about the flag patch or just the flag in general, whereupon Gordie was pleased to beat the crap out of him. Tyler Looney, perhaps soon to become Tyler Pinkflower, sometimes had burgers and drinks with Gordie at his favorite bar. On two occasions Tyler had witnessed such smackdowns. He was amazed that the individual soon to be beaten always assumed the beater, having one eye, was as good as blind and a pushover even though Gordie was six feet four and as solid as an ironwood tree.

Looking up at Tyler from the seat of his electric cart, his expression as patriotic as always, Gordie said, “Yeah, it was on a wheeled pallet. I pulled it out of the way so Felix could fiberscope the beast. It’s to hell and gone, bro. Hop on. I’ll take you to it.”

The tug cart could pull the heaviest pallet, but it also had a short cargo deck for light loads. Tyler became cargo. They whizzedaway through the warehouse maze. Long ago, Gordie Armstrong’s brain had reprogrammed itself to provide him with nearly as much depth perception as doctors once thought required two eyes.

In a far corner of the facility, beyond the buzz and bustle of the freight handlers, the crate in question waited. A small battery-powered drill lay on the lid.

Gordie swung off the driver’s seat and stepped onto the pallet with Tyler, beside the crate. “Bro, maybe be careful with that.”

“Careful? How, why?”

“There’s something about it.”

“What something?”

Felix Domenico had drilled a half-inch-diameter hole in the lid. Then, after inspecting the contents with the fiberscope, he’d plugged the hole with a black rubber stopper, per company protocols.

Tyler tapped a finger against the plug. “Seems like Felix must have been okay with what he saw.”

Features clenched in somber expectation, his gaze traveling the length of the crate and then again, Gordie said, “Felix walks away without his drill, tosses the scope in the trash—then has a stroke or whatever. None of it’s right.”

Consulting the packing slip that was visible through the plastic envelope applied to the crate, Tyler said, “Going to some guy in Corona del Mar. That truck’s left already. Can’t deliver this today.”

After a hesitation, Gordie said, “I’m not crazy, all right?”

“Maybe half. But you’re not ready for an institution.”

“What I’m going to tell you is just between us.”

Tyler said, “Unless I can make a hit song out of it.”

“This is true shit, man. Earlier, as I was towing this pallet here for Felix, suddenly I could see with both eyes.”

As Gordie studied the crate, Tyler studied Gordie. “So maybe there’s a televangelist in the box, come from Florida on the cheap to cure the lame and the half-blind.”

“Makes more sense than anything I’ve come up with. When it happened, I thought,What’s this?I don’t mind saying it scared me.”

“Being able to see with both eyes scared you?”

“Because I feltknown. I mean, what was it—an offer, a bargain to be made? I get a new eye in return for what?”

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