Page 74 of The Bad Weather Friend

Spike let go of the steering wheel with one hand and pinched Benny’s cheek. Hard. “Just because Jill Swift dumped you and made a fool of you and wounded your heart doesn’t mean that’ll happen with Harper. Harper isn’t anything like Jill. Anyway, if you discover maybe you’re not compatible, you can call off the wedding.”

“Like hell,” Harper said. “Two.”

“My head is spinning,” Benny said.

Taking the steering wheel in both hands, Spike said, “Now that you mention your head, that’s another thing. With hair like yours, you’re not going to receive a lot of proposals from girls as great as Harper.”

“Three,” she said, and Benny said, “All right!”

“All right what?”

“All right. Am I nuts? I’m not nuts. Of course I’ll marry you. I want to marry you. I like you. I’ve always liked you. I thinkI might love you. I’m pretty sure I do. I mean, why wouldn’t I? You’re great. I’m not sure why a girl as great as you wants to marry me.”

“You’re fun.”

“I’m fun? That’s it? Fun is my entire portfolio?”

“Being fun is a big deal, Sugarpie. You’re also nice and kind and getting wisdom, and you’re just sexy enough.”

“Just enough?”

“Too much is always a problem. You’re just right.”

Spike hooted with delight. “This is so great. You came into the living room and saw the smashed Swedish chair, and I was thinking about destroying that hideous Lucite lamp with the white shade. I saw you two and knew right then you’d be together forever.” He took a deep breath and sighed. “Now, about the rabbit.”

Harper said, “What about her?”

“Well, she’s white as a calla lily. Maybe call her Lily.”

“Lily. I like that. Lily. That’s pretty. Thank you, Spike.”

“De nada.When it’s time to name the kids, you think I could maybe have a little input? I won’t be hurt if you say no.”

“Sure. Why not?” Benny said. “Decorate the nursery, too. After all, you’re going to be doing a lot of babysitting.”

“I’m a very good babysitter. I’ve been babysitting for many centuries. My previous destiny buddies always found my babysitting skills to be a most useful service in addition to my preventing bad people from destroying them.”

“Just don’t ever,” Benny said, “think that babysitting kids is the same as sidelining them like you did with Fat Bob.”

“Bob,” said Harper.

The suggestion seemed to offend Spike. “I would never sideline children. That would be a violation of cragglethink.”

Harper said, “Your eye trick, pulling your heart out of your chest, that kind of stuff—it might negatively impact psychological development.”

“Little kids, sure,” Spike agreed. “But most of them, when they get to be nine or ten, they just love that stuff.”

“We’ll discuss it when the time comes,” Benny said. “Now, why are we driving to San Diego instead of time-folding there?”

Spike was chagrinned. “I got so caught up in naming the bunny, and then how the discussion segued into romance, I forgot Llewellyn Urnfield. I’m a sucker for romance. That was a beautiful moment. I’ll never forget being part of that beautiful moment, not even a thousand years from now when you’re both ... you know ... gone.”

“I am very touched,” Benny said.

So then the coastal highway folded away, and a suburb of San Diego folded into view around them. They coasted to a stop at the address that F. Upton Theron provided.

“This can’t be right,” Harper said.

They were on a street lined with California live oaks, in a pleasant middle-class neighborhood, in front of a house that could have been a cottage transported out of a Thomas Kinkade painting. The humble but exquisitely quaint structure featured a slate roof, stone walls, sculpted dormers, and French windows of beveled-glass panes that sparkled with amber light. Nestled in a meticulously attended garden of flowers and flowering shrubs, with a lawn that seemed to have been trimmed to perfection using hand shears, the house was magically, subtly illuminated, as was every corner of the landscape. In contrast to the homes around it, the place seemed to have been transported out of a land of elves and hobbits.

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