Page 77 of Ruined (The Knights of Ruin)

CHAPTER TWENTY

Smoke

I RODEBACK to the clubhouse on autopilot, parking my bike and ignoring whatever the prospect at the door said to me as I strode inside.

I was vaguely surprised that I wasn’t trailing blood everywhere, because it sure felt like I was bleeding to death. Like my heart had been ripped from my chest and all that was left was a bloody hole.

My head was full of Cat, full of the wet grip of her pussy around my cock, the soft give of her body as I shoved her against the wall. Full of the rapid beat of her pulse as I put my hand on her throat.

Full of her voice telling me she loved me. That she’d never leave me.

I’d been shot once or twice before, and that was nothing compared to the agony I was feeling now. Walking out through that door had been like ripping myself in two.

But what else could I do?

She hadn’t listened to me—hadn’t done anything but relax into me as I’d torn her clothing and nearly choked her. As I fucked her hard and deep against the wall. I wanted her angry, wanted her fighting me, but she wasn’t and didn’t.

She just...gave me everything.

And you flung it back in her face.

Ignoring the sound of my stupid damn conscience, I headed straight for Keep’s office for the third time that day. Brothers nodded to me, saying, ‘hey’, but I ignored them, too. I didn’t have the time or the patience for meaningless fucking chitchat.

‘Jesus Christ,’ Keep said as I entered the office without knocking, coming to stand in front of his desk. ‘What the fuck is it this time?’

I put my hands in my pockets and came straight out with it. ‘I beat up Justin Grant. Smashed his pussy-ass face in. So now he’s going to press charges. I just want you to know that I’ll take full responsibility and that—’

‘Shut the fuck up,’ Keep snapped, glaring at me. ‘Again. From the top.’

I gritted my teeth, violence simmering inside me, itching to get out.

‘That bullshit call from the chief? It originated from Justin. He wanted me out of the house, so he could get to Cat. That’s what I found when I got back home. Him with his hands all over her.’ My rage boiled over. ‘So I taught him a fucking lesson about not touching what’s mine.’

Keep sat slowly back in his chair, his gaze sharp. ‘You couldn’t have kept better control of yourself?’

My jaw ached, every muscle in my body tight. ‘Funnily enough, when he was tearing her clothes and hurting her, controlling myself wasn’t uppermost in my fucking mind.’

Keep said nothing, continuing to stare at me.

‘Like I said,’ I went on, since it didn’t look like he was going to break the silence, ‘the asshole’s going to press charges and he’ll sure as hell make sure Cat won’t get custody of Annie. So I’m here to tell you she’s not my old lady any more and to that I’ll plead guilty. I’ll do the time.’

Keep scowled. ‘What do you mean she’s not your old lady any more?’

‘I can’t stay with her. Being with me is only going to hurt her.’

There was a dull throbbing in my chest—a low-level pain that wasn’t ever going to go away.

‘I only made her mine because I wanted the club to protect her anyway.’

Keep snorted. ‘What a fucking load of bullshit. You made her your old lady because you’re in love with her—everyone knows that.’

That word. Christ, why did everyone keep saying that word?

‘It’s not like that. It was fake. It was supposed to protect her and—’

‘Yeah, and that’s bullshit, too. You’ve been in love with that girl for as long as I’ve known you, and that’s a fuck of a long time. And she loves you, too. Jesus, the way she looked at you at the party that night, it was written all over her face.’

I said nothing, every part of me tense with denial.

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