Page 25 of Ruined (The Knights of Ruin)

CHAPTER SEVEN

Cat

I STAREDAT SMOKE, my heartbeat freakishly loud in my head.

Something was happening between us and it scared the shit out of me.

I knew as soon as I opened my big fat mouth and told him he didn’t get a say about Annie that I’d crossed a line. That I’d hurt him and hurt him deeply.

I had no excuse except that I was frightened, and that when I got frightened I got angry.

Had that been the thing that had changed the atmosphere between us?

Or had it been the night I’d stormed into the clubhouse and seen Smoke getting head, with his hands in another woman’s hair?

I didn’t know. But maybe it didn’t matter. Because right now it felt like I wasn’t looking into my friend’s eyes. It felt like I was looking into the eyes of a complete stranger.

And that stranger...

God, he was looking back at me like he wanted to eat me alive.

Like he looked at that woman in the hallway.

Shit.

Smoke made no move towards me. He simply stood there and put his hands in the pockets of his jeans, a relaxed kind of posture. But his gaze was black and there was fire in it—a heat I’d never imagined—not to mention challenge, too. Like he was daring me to do it.

I remembered that look. The first day I met him, after I’d watched him do tricks for a solid half-hour, he handed me his skateboard and dared me to try it. There had been many times after that when he’d pushed me to do something I didn’t want to do or was scared of. Skateboarding. Riding his motorcycle. Drinking bourbon neat. Going to the school dance. Telling my mother she had to quit heroin or else I’d move out. Applying for law school. Leaving Justin...

Some of those things I’d ended up failing at, and some of them were among the best experiences of my life. But this challenge—this was different. This felt like it could threaten the very fabric of our friendship.

Seriously? You’re acting like this is real and it’s not. It’s just pretend.

I drew in a shaky breath. Yeah, of course. Pretend. Which meant the way he was looking at me was pretend, too. He didn’t reallywant me—just like I didn’t really want him. Nothing would be threatened because we wouldn’t actually be together. We’d just have to make it look like we were. And that was fine. I could do that.

Smoke wasn’t wrong. No matter how much I didn’t want to go anywhere near the Knights, this did seem to be our only option to protect Annie.

Plus, after what I said to him, I owed him.

‘Okay.’ I took a step away from the wall, getting closer to him. ‘Show me, then.’

My voice sounded shaky and I couldn’t seem to get my heart rate under control.

It was just Smoke. Only Smoke.

He stared down at me and I was suddenly aware of the height difference between us—something I’d only been vaguely aware of before. But it hit me now how much taller he was. How much broader. How much more powerful and muscular.

I wanted to make a joke about his workout regimen, yet I’d never felt less like laughing in my entire life.

‘You’ll have to come closer than that.’

His voice was quiet, with a dark, husky quality to it which was another thing I’d never noticed before.

I was looking at him like he was some stranger, but he wasn’t. He was my friend.

I took another step towards him, trying to ignore my frantic heartbeat.

‘That’s better,’ he said.

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