Page 33 of Ruined (The Knights of Ruin)

‘If she was here, you wouldn’t have to worry so much. You wouldn’t have to work so hard all the time. The pressure would be off.’

I closed my eyes, horrified to find that if I wasn’t careful I was going to burst into exhausted, emotional tears.

He was right. Being a single mom was hard and I worried so much. There was no break, no respite. Sometimes I wished I could just have ten minutes when I didn’t have to worry about Annie and whether I had enough time for her. Whether I had enough money to feed and clothe her. Whether I could actually be the mother I wanted to be for her.

‘It wouldn’t mean you’d never see her,’ he went on, obviously knowing he’d hooked into my deepest fears. ‘We’d work out a visitation schedule. Hell, you could even have her overnight a couple of times a week. Wouldn’t that be better for you? You could actually spend time with her when you’re not tired and worried and thinking about all the stuff you need to do.’

He knew me well. Knew what I was afraid of. Knew what I was desperate for. At first it had been so good to have someone know me like that. To love me the way I’d always wanted to be loved.

Then he’d shown me what a lie that was and how stupid I was to trust him. Just like he was lying to me now.

Never again.

I forced away the tears, swallowing back the lump in my throat. ‘And if you get angry again, Justin?’ I had to concentrate to make my voice sound strong and unaffected. ‘What happens then? Will you hit Annie the way you hit me?’

There was a hard silence down the other end of the phone.

‘That’s not going to happen.’ The warm note had vanished from his voice like it had never been there. ‘I would never hit her.’

‘The way you’d never hit me?’

‘I’ve dealt with my anger issues,’ he said calmly. ‘Not that it would have ever happened if you’d done what I said and stopped screwing that friend of yours.’

Ah, this was the Justin I remembered. The asshole.

I said nothing—mainly because there was nothing to say. He wouldn’t have listened anyway.

‘Well? Last chance, Cat.’

‘Why?’ I asked suddenly. ‘You never wanted her before. You never wanted her in the first place. Why do you want her so desperately now?’

‘Because she’s my damn daughter, and I want what’s mine. That’s why.’ He sounded impatient now. ‘Are you going to give me full custody? If not, I’ll see you in court.’

My jaw was tight, my heart burning with anger. ‘No. I’ll never give you full custody of her. Never, ever.’

He gave a snort of disgust. ‘Stupid move, honey. Guess we’ll have to do this the hard way, then.’

The call was disconnected abruptly.

Fuck. I didn’t even have the satisfaction of hanging up on him.

My fingers were white around my phone, but I couldn’t afford to give in to the urge to throw it at the wall because I literally couldn’t afford to get a new one if it broke. I had to make do with shoving it hard into my pocket and cursing viciously.

It was difficult to go into the bathroom and continue bathing Annie like nothing had happened, but I managed it, and luckily she was too young to know that there was anything wrong.

Fifteen minutes later, all dry and dressed in clean pyjamas, Annie was ready for a bedtime story when the doorbell rang.

For a second I froze, the horrible thought of Justin coming over to take Annie away from me right now popping into my head. Then I remembered. The party. It would probably be either the sitter or Smoke.

Leaving her with a picture book, I crept into the hallway and went to the door and looked through the peephole.

Smoke was in the hall outside, in his jeans and cut, and he was literally the best thing I’d seen all day.

I undid the chain and pulled the door open, grinning stupidly. ‘You’re early. I wasn’t expecting you till later.’

He didn’t smile back the way he normally would have, and his gaze was fierce on mine. ‘Thought I’d come and drop my stuff off.’

‘What stuff?’ Then I noticed the big duffel bag he had slung over one shoulder. ‘What’s that for?’

---