Page 36 of Shy Innocent In The Spotlight

CHAPTER TWELVE

MACKBROUGHTHERlimp hand up to his mouth, pressing his lips to her fingers. His chest was tight as a drum, his lungs too cramped to draw in a decent breath. He blamed himself for not being vigilant enough. Elspeth had a life-threatening allergy and seeing her like that, struggling to breathe, was confronting. Not just confronting but terrifying. What if it had happened when they were out of reach of a hospital? What if she hadn’t brought her EpiPens with her? Over the last few days, he’d almost forgotten about her allergy. He’d been so caught up with spending time with her, making love to her, knowing their fling was coming to an end, as all his flings did.

But seeing her so ill had shaken him to the core. Making him realise he didn’t want their fling to end like all the others.

I want to stay with her.

He had grown close to her in a way he hadn’t expected, closer than anyone else he had ever met. Not just physically close but forming a deep connection that opened his heart to possibilities he had never considered before—possibilities he had never wanted to consider. He had never asked anyone to live with him before. That had always been a step too far. It reeked too much of commitment and he didn’t do commitment.

Almost losing her had shocked him into realising he had developed feelings for her. The sort of feelings that he had never felt for anyone else. He wasn’t ready to call it love, the sort of love that romantics went on about. But he cared deeply for her. Why else had he panicked as he’d never panicked before seeing her struggling for air? He couldn’t imagine not seeing her again. He had already extended their fling another day or two. What would it hurt to extend it a little longer? A little longer than he had ever done before? It would be a practical solution, a convenient arrangement that would give them a little more time to enjoy each other’s company. How much longer was not something he could answer with any definitiveness, which was unusual for him. But he didn’t put too much significance on that. He was not going to let things get out of control.

Mack shuffled his chair closer to Elspeth’s bedside and gently stroked her hair back from her forehead. Her face was pale, her features relaxed in sleep, and his heart squeezed as if it were in a cruel vice. His throat thickened, unfamiliar emotions rising in his chest. ‘I’m not going anywhere,’ he said in a rough whisper. ‘You’re stuck with me for a while longer.’

Elspeth woke a couple of times during the night when the nurse on duty came in to do a set of obs. And every time, she saw Mack sitting beside her bed, wide awake with his concerned gaze on her. Once the nurse left, Elspeth turned to him. ‘Have you had any sleep at all?’

‘No.’

She ran her gaze over his weary features. His eyes were darkly shadowed, his jaw was heavily peppered with regrowth, his skin looked paler than normal and there were fine lines around his mouth she had never noticed before. ‘You look terrible.’

‘Thank you.’ His tone was dry.

She plucked at the starched white sheet covering her. ‘I bet I don’t look too crash hot either.’

He grasped her hand and kissed her bent knuckles, his eyes meshing with hers. ‘You look as beautiful as ever.’

Her heart swelled at the tenderness in his gaze. ‘Thanks for staying with me. It’s usually my mum who sits there hour after hour.’

He suddenly frowned. ‘I should have thought to call her. And your sister. Do you want me to do it now or—?’

‘No, I’m quite safe with you and I don’t want to stress them.’

‘Will you tell them once we get back home?’

‘Maybe.’

‘I can see why your mother panics,’ Mack said, stroking her hand. ‘You scared the hell out of me.’ He swallowed deeply and added in a husky tone, ‘I’m not going to be game enough to let you out of my sight after this.’

Elspeth gave a lopsided smile. ‘You’re going to have to though, soon, aren’t you?’ She looked back down at the sheet she was toying with. ‘We’re having a fling, not a long-term relationship. Those were the rules. Your rules.’

There was a pulsing silence.

‘What if I wanted to tweak the rules?’

She looked at him in shock. ‘What do you mean?’

He grasped her hand even more firmly as if worried she would pull away. ‘I don’t want our fling to end just yet. I want to continue seeing you.’

Elspeth ran her tongue over her suddenly dry lips. He wanted to extend their fling? ‘What time frame were you thinking?’ For there would be a time frame, of that she was sure. He would not be offering her a for-ever relationship, a full-time commitment such as marriage. It was probably silly of her to expect it given they had only known each other such a short time. But a part of her longed for such a commitment from him anyway. For she knew how she felt, she was sure of her love for him. The trouble was knowing for sure if love was behind his offer, or simple lust. The health scare he had witnessed had created a sense of urgency and drama, which had probably coloured if not downright influenced his decision to extend their fling. Dramatic circumstances experienced by a couple often had that effect—made them draw closer together for a time—but it didn’t always last, not unless deep and lasting love underpinned it.

And how could she be sure it did?

‘We can take it a day at a time,’ Mack said. ‘Just enjoy each other’s company as we’ve been doing.’

Elspeth was trying to figure out how such an arrangement would work in reality. He was based in Scotland, she in England. She had a job she adored, a flat she had not long rented. A year-long lease she had only just signed. How would her mother cope if she moved out of London? Judging by the number of missed calls and text messages she’d received from her, Elspeth doubted her mother would ever agree to her moving to Scotland. And could she even be sure she would get a position in another library, especially at such short notice? What exactly did Mack expect of her? ‘I don’t know, Mack...’ She softened it with a smile. ‘We live in different parts of the UK. I don’t want to quit my job or—’

‘I’m not asking you to quit, just ask for a transfer,’ he said. ‘We’ll figure the details out later but, for now, I want you to get well and at least consider moving in with me for a few weeks when we get back home.’

Her eyebrows shot up. ‘Move in with you?’

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