Page 71 of The Lies of Bryn van Doren

Khalohn stands in front of the window in his office, staring out at the Brooklyn Bridge as the line rings. The longer he waits, the further his mind retreats, until he doesn’t see the bridge at all. Finally, at the sound of her voice in his ear, his clarity returns.

“Hello?”

“Bryn, do you have a moment?”

He hears her soft sigh before she replies, “Not really. Khalohn, I’m sorry. I can’t do this right now.”

“When then?”

“I don’t—I don’t know.”

He shoves his freehand into his pocket, balling his fingers into a fist as he tries to make sense of his frustration. If he’s honest with himself, he’d acknowledge what he wants more than sex are answers—answers to questions he won’t ask. Questions which would shift the dynamic of their relationship into something more. But he isn’t honest with himself. Neither is he patient. He decides to use his power in order to get what he wants. It’s a business tactic he’s used before, and he isn’t afraid to use it now.

“Your refusal is not part of our agreement. Meet me at eight, or I’ll be forced to reconsider our deal. The choice is yours.”

He hangs up, and Jessica sucks in a startled breath. She yanks her phone away from her ear, staring down at the screen, in need of confirmation that he’s really gone. She tightens her grip around the phone and seals her eyes closed, in an attempt to keep her emotions in check. For more than twenty-four hours, she’s been on edge. Khalohn’s threat has her teetering. On her next inhale, her breath sputters into her chest. Pressing her head against the wall beside her mother’s hospital room door, she tries to calm down enough to gather her thoughts. As much as Jessica can’t imagine leaving her mother’s side for any length of time, she can’t see a way around it.

If I stay, what then?she asks, reasoning with herself.Khalohn ends it, the money stops, and then what?

“Shit, shit, shit,” she hisses, her fear and worry billowing up inside of her. She can feel the prickling sensation of tears behind her eyes as the possibility of the unthinkable crosses her mind. She can’t put it into words, but there’s a cold, dark, rational part of her mind emitting an ugly cloud of truth. If Beth doesn’t pull through, Jessica won’t have to worry about paying for what now feels like a never-ending hospital stay.

No, I have to go,she demands of herself.I have to go because I have to hope—I have to believe I need this, for mom. How can you possibly ask her to hold on and keep fighting if you won’t?

She hates the position in which she finds herself. Even more, she’s angry with Khalohn for forcing her hand. Though, just as soon as she admits it, she lifts her head and thumps it against the wall. Defeat deflates her anger as she acknowledges he can’t possibly know what she’s dealing with because she’s never told him. He doesn’t know Jessica’s struggles because he doesn’t knowJessica—he knowsBryn, and Bryn is no one.

Bryn comes when beckoned because she is no one. She has no one. She’s a fantasy.

A single tear breaks free of her closed eyes, and she scrunches her face in irritation. Righting herself, she steps away from the wall and quickly sweeps away the drop of helplessness racing down her cheek. She sucks in a breath and blows it out in a huff, knowing there’s no way she can return to Beth’s side looking like the emotional wreck she is. She has to be brave. There’s no other choice.

Rolling her shoulders back, she reaches for the door and steps into the room. The simple oxygen tube her mother wore for days has been replaced by an entire mask. She’s barely awake, her eyes fluttering open as Jessica takes her seat beside the bed. Her skin seems to be growing paler by the hour. Every time Jessica takes hold of Beth’s hand, she’s startled by how cool she is to the touch.

She’s still here. She’s still breathing, if not well—but Dr. Montgomery doesn’t leave the room with a hopeful smile anymore. He’s afraid Beth’s lungs might be failing. In spite of the treatment she’s been receiving to fight the virus, the damage done to her already weakened organs has granted her no favors. With her inability to breathe properly, the rest of her body is having trouble functioning. To Jessica, everything seems to be happening so fast, and her brain can hardly keep up with the updates or the rate at which Beth’s increasing fatigue is changing her.

Beth slowly reaches up for the mask she hates to wear, shoving it down her chin as she looks into Jessica’s eyes. “Everything okay?” she wheezes.

“Mom, you have to keep your oxygen on.”

When Jessica reaches up to readjust the mask, Beth flinches just enough to make her daughter pause. She then scowls and asks again, “Is everything okay?”

“It was—it was work. I have to go in tonight. But I won’t stay. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Beth studies Jessica for a long moment. An insufficient amount of oxygen makes her cough, and both women react. Jessica is faster, standing to her feet as she reaches for her mother’s mask and puts it back in place.

“Mom, please,” she begs, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Stubbornly, Beth takes only a couple gulps of air before she grabs hold of the mask again, lowering it so she can speak. “You’re my beautiful girl. And I love you. More than I can say—I love you.”

A dry cough crawls up her throat, but she swallows it down, a determined look in her eye as she continues. “I’m so proud of you. Of the woman you’ve become. You’re so strong. So strong.”

“Mama, you don’t have to—”

“No matter what happens to me, you’ll be okay. I know you will. It’s who you are, and I’msoproud.”

Jessica’s throat constricts, and she can hardly swallow as her eyes fill with tears. She shakes her head, blinking furiously, trying with all she’s got not to cry. “Nothing’s going to happen to you. You’re not going anywhere,” she declares. “Okay?” She brushes Beth’s hand away from the mask and puts it back over her mouth. “Stop talking like that. You need to rest, okay?”

This time, when Beth lifts her hand, it’s to take hold of Jessica’s. They both hold on tight, and as she loses the battle against her tears, Jessica doesn’t bother wiping them away. She just holds onto her mother, hoping with all her might that whatever strength she possesses will seep into the woman who gave her life.

They hold on to one another until Beth drifts to sleep. When a nurse comes in to check on her a little while later, Jessica pesters her with questions until she feels assured she can leave the room for a couple of hours. At seven o’clock, in spite of how much she doesn’t want to, she makes her way out of the hospital. Hoping to be gone for the least amount of time possible, she hails a cab to take her home. After a quick shower, she doesn’t bother with makeup, and she twists her wet hair into a low bun at the nape of her neck. She dresses in another pair of leggings, a sports bra, and a sweatshirt, more concerned about the temperature of the hospital than whether or not Khalohn will be turned on by her appearance.

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