Page 34 of The Lies of Bryn van Doren

Furrowing her brow, Jessica is relieved her face is hidden. She can feel it as a blush invades her cheeks, causing her skin to burn in both embarrassment and self-reprimand.

Good god. Am I really thinking about screwing some stranger with my mom sitting two feet away from me?

“We’ve been at it for a while,” Beth continues, obviously oblivious of her daughter’s thoughts. “Watch a movie with me, baby. I’m having dinner over at Jackie’s tonight, but we’ve got some time before then,” she says, speaking of her best friend.

After a slight pause to gather herself, Jessica lifts her head only enough to be able to prop her chin on the table. Beth’s fingers, no longer in reaching distance of her hair, trace along the side of Jessica’s face before she closes the laptop and nods her head toward the next room. For a few seconds, Jessica just stares at Beth.

She studies the details of her mother’s face—the thin lines that fan around the edges of her eyes and the corners of her mouth; her pale pink lips, which haven’t seen a lick of lipstick since Jessica walked across the stage at her high school graduation. She stares and sees the woman who hasn’t had a chance to live enough life, but who has spent years working tirelessly to make ends meet.

Both of them are at a time in their lives where they should be out on their own, figuring out who they are—other than a mother who loves her daughter or a daughter who adores her mother. But they’re trapped in a small apartment they can barely afford. Worse, Beth is trapped in a body that will likely never be well again. Yet, even in the midst of what feels like a frustratingly dead-end situation, Beth wants to watch a movie before she spends the evening gabbing away with Jackie.

“I love you, mom,” Jessica whispers.

“I love you, too, baby.” Pushing herself away from the table, she stands to her feet and asks, “Should I make us some popcorn? And what should we watch?”

For a minute, Jessica doesn’t respond. She watches as Beth maneuvers her way around the small kitchen, doing exactly as she’s been doing for the last twenty-four years—making the best of things. As she stares silently, realization washes over her like a gentle breeze.

Two nights. It’s all I get. It’s all I want. Just enough to give me a chance to start again. I’m not a prostitute. My mother raised me so much better than that. I owe her the world, built on sweat, blood, and tears—not sex, lies, and broken integrity.

Two nights.

“Jessica?”

“Yes. Sorry. Yes, to the popcorn,” she insists, finally sitting up straight. “And I’ll let you pick the movie.”

She’s barely finished her sentence when her phone starts to ring, vibrating against the table. Even though she’s been waiting all day for this particular call, the sight of Stefano’s work number lighting up her screen causes her breath to catch in her throat.

“I—I need to take this,” she tells Beth distractedly as she picks up the phone. “I’ll be back.” Hurrying from the kitchen, she slides her thumb across the screen and presses the device to her ear. “Hi,” she finally answers. In a hushed voice, she goes on to inquire, “You’re calling from work, so I’m guessing…” She doesn’t quite know how to finish her sentence. Thankfully, Stefano doesn’t force her to.

“Mr. Morgan will arrive tonight at ten. Your call time is nine o’clock.”

“Okay. I’ll be there.”

“I know. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Stefano,” she says before he can bid her farewell.

“I’m here,” he assures her.

“Our spot? Tonight?”

He’s silent for a beat. In the silence, they have an entire conversation. Without saying the words, she’s admitting and he’s accepting tonight won’t be the same as her first night. Whatever happens within the confines of the elegant blue room belonging to one Mr. Morgan, she’ll need her best friend afterwards. In the silence, she admits he’s been right all along, and he accepts she has been right, too.

“I’ll meet you at twilight, dove.”

When Jessica returns to the kitchen, her phone still clutched in her hands, Beth is at the stove popping a pot full of popcorn. She looks to her daughter, smiling softly as she asks, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. That was, um—it was Stefano. I think I’m going to go out with him later. I’ll probably leave around eight or so.”

“I think that’s a good idea. You could use a night out to get your mind off things.”

Grazing her teeth guilty over her bottom lip, Jessica nods, averting her gaze. When Beth asks her to fetch a bowl, she stifles a sigh of relief, glad for the opportunity to escape the lie—at least for the length of a movie.

Beth chooses a tried and true favorite, and the two of them curl up on the couch as they watchDirty Dancing. When it’s over, Jessica cleans their popcorn bowls and straightens the room while Beth changes to head out to her friend’s place. Jackie’s been around for as long as Jessica can remember. She’s got a place with her live-in boyfriend up in Queens. While Beth isn’t the biggest fan of Jackie’s partner, she puts up with the guy for her closest friend. They’ve been as thick as thieves since the day they met at the chemical plant.

Beth leaves around six. In order to escape her own thoughts, Jessica hops in the shower to get ready for her trip into the city. When it’s time for her to depart, she draws in a deep breath, reminding herself this’ll be the last night she’ll have to lie to her mother about where she’s going. Her mind is made up. She has no intention of breaking her promise to Stefano any more than she intends to break the promise she’s made to herself.

She leaves her guilt behind and starts her journey toward Clandestine’s.

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