Page 62 of The Lies of Bryn van Doren

He watches as Bryn’s face relaxes in relief. It lasts only a moment, and then she tugs her bottom lip between her teeth, eyeing him apprehensively. He keeps his gaze trained on her, waiting for her next question. They’ve never talked about anything so personal before, but he doesn’t mind. Something about the way she’s looking at him, her eyes hesitant and yet wanting, he finds himself willing to give a little.

“What?” he prompts when she doesn’t speak.

“It’s just—you’re really nice,” she says softly. He raises an eyebrow at her, and she breathes a giggle. “Nice might not be the word I’m looking for. Generous. Kind. I don’t know. What Idoknow is, you’re really good looking and great in bed—I just—I don’t get it.”

“I could say the same of you.”

At his comment, he loses her eyes. Bryn drops her chin, reaching for her coffee cup, but she doesn’t lift it to her lips. “It’s complicated,” she admits.

Khalohn nods, but Bryn doesn’t see it. Silence passes between them. Silence passes between them often, but this time feels different. This time, his own curiosity is stirred within him. For the first time since he met her, he wonders what details make up her complicated story. Rather than entertain his questions, he discards them. Whatever her story is, it brought her to him. The precious treasure he continues to unearth. After more than half a dozen times in bed, he’s still nowhere near done with her.

“It’s exactly the opposite for me,” he says. She lifts her eyes to find his once more, and he suddenly realizes why he’s spoken. Holding her gaze, what he was after all along, he confesses, “I was married once before. Didn’t work out. This is less complicated.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be.”

Reaching up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, she’s bold enough to ask, “What happened?”

Ready to put an end to her questions, Khalohn directs his gaze back down at the paper and mutters, “I wasn’t enough.”

Jessica’s mouth falls open as she gapes at Khalohn. She sucks in a breath, but she has no words on which to accompany her exhale. She can barely make sense of what he said. But it’s more than that. It’s thewayhe said it. The tone in which he wrapped his words. It wasn’t melancholy or regretful. Worse, it was matter of fact. Like he not only knows why his marriage didn’t work, but he believes it himself—that he’s not enough.

It’s not complicated. That’s what he said,she thinks, forcing her lips closed.I think he thinks this is safe. ThatI’msafe.

Taking another bite of her breakfast, Jessica chews absentmindedly, studying Khalohn all the while. He doesn’t notice, too focused on his task, but she doesn’t mind. His comment is on repeat in her thoughts. As stupid and reckless as it might be, she tucks away his admission for safe keeping. She holds on to it, hoping, in some way, she can prove him wrong. It’s a foolhardy and ridiculous endeavor to take on. She’s his call girl. However, Jessica can’t help it. The truth of the matter is, she’smorethan Bryn van Doren, and she likes Khalohn Morgan—as much of the man she knows. All he’s shown her is that he’smorethan enough. The way he touches her, kisses her,fucksher. Unless he’s a monster in disguise, she can’t imagine a woman having him and then choosing to give him up.

He bought me apple pie, and I’m not even his girlfriend,she thinks, as if justifying her feelings.

Maybe it’s all part of the fantasy…

Even so, she makes up her mind to indulge it to the fullest.

She finishes the rest of her bagel in silence and then gathers up both of their trash. Khalohn murmurs his thanks, not lifting his head. Having never had such a long morning with him, she’s not sure how long he’ll stay. Jessica doesn’t want to wait too long before she heads out herself. She doesn’t like for Beth to be alone for longer than she has to be in her hospital room. With this in mind, she doesn’t waste time before she puts into motion her first attempt to show Khalohn he’s definitely enough.

After she discards their trash, Bryn doesn’t head back to her stool. She makes her way behind him, slipping her arms around his waist as she presses her chest to his back. He feels it as she pushes herself up on her tiptoes, in order to prop her chin on his shoulder. He turns his head as she begins to speak.

“You showered. I can smell it,” she whispers, her warm breath tickling his ear. “But since you’re here, I thought you’d appreciate the invitation to join me anyway.”

Khalohn doesn’t even stop to think about it. He turns his head a little more, until his lips are grazing hers. He kisses her, barely pulling away before he replies, “Right behind you.”

Her face lights up, and from his vantage point, he’s sure he’s never seen anything so beautiful.

When Jessica arrivesat the hospital, she finds Beth sleeping. After nearly two weeks hooked up to IVs pumping her with meds, and tubes that give her plenty of oxygen, she’s still not in any condition to be released. By Jessica’s assessment, her mother has good days and bad days; moments where her energy seems to be up, and others where it seems like it’s taking everything she’s got to fight off the virus. As Jessica takes her seat beside the bed, she pulls her legs into her chest, resting the heels of her feet on the edge of the chair, all the while debating with herself. She’s not sure if sleep is a good sign or a bad one. While she’s no doctor, she knows sleep leads to rejuvenation. However, she can’t help but argue, sleep so late in the morning means Beth is far from out of the woods.

Dr. Montgomery has informed her, more than once, even someone with a healthy set of lungs could battle pneumonia for a few weeks. Given Beth’s lungs are far from healthy, it’s not abnormal her body is having a harder time getting to the other side of this sickness. In spite of the hopeful look in his eye or the optimistic tone in his voice, Jessica is growing impatient. Not because she’s tired of spending her days in the hospital, or because she’s worried about the cost of the hospital stay, but because the moment they discharge Beth will be the moment Jessica feels like she can worry a little less.

Freeing a sigh, Jessica closes her eyes and tries to relax. In the darkness, behind her lids, she pictures Khalohn. Her belly flutters in a giddy sort of excitement sheshouldignore. She doesn’t. Memories from just an hour ago are hard for her to shove aside. They’d teased each other in the shower, making out until neither of them could stand it any longer. Then he’d turned her away from him, pushed her up against the wall, and took her from behind. The memory alone causes an ache between her legs, and she can feel a blush of desire crawl up her neck. She shoves the elicit thoughts aside, settling on something less intense.

For the first time ever, it was Jessica who left the apartment first. While she got dressed, he settled himself at the dining room table, where he resumed his crossword puzzle. She wanted to get to the hospital, so she told him she had someplace to be. Jessica was hesitant to leave, even after he told her he’d lock up on his way out. It felt odd, being the one to initiate goodbye. She didn’t know how to leave. He’s the one with the signature move—always kissing her behind the ear. It’s an act that says so much without him having to say anything at all. It reminds her he isn’t finished. That he still wants her.

After the conversation they shared over breakfast, she felt responsible to depart with the same message. Mustering her courage, she stood behind him, slid her hands over his shoulders and down his chest before leaning in close. She then pressed her lips against his neck—covered in a thin layer of stubble she knew he’d shave later—and whispered her farewell. Then, just as he always does, she snuck a taste, pressed another lingering kiss to his skin and left without another word.

She wore a smile on her face until she reached the lobby.

“You having sweet dreams over there?” mutters Beth, her voice mild and weak.

Jessica’s eyes snap open and her spine straightens as she looks over at her mother. “What? Hi.”

---