Page 45 of The Lies of Bryn van Doren

Her blush grows warmer and she forces her eyes open in an attempt to escape her memories. When she locks eyes with Stefano, who is stillclearlywaiting for a response, she forces herself to speak. “He’s—he’s not…” Her voice is hardly more than a hoarse whisper, lower than usual from lack of use. “That’s not…” She can’t finish her sentence, not entirely surewhatthe gift meant or how she feels about it being taken from her.

“I’m not going to report it. It’s yours, Jess.”

She tries to ignore her relief and says nothing as Stefano saunters into the room and tosses the garment to the foot of the bed.

“Come on. I made coffee.” He doesn’t wait for her to respond before he turns and heads for the door. Just as he crosses the threshold, he calls out over his shoulder, “There may or may not be a couple slices of apple pie out here, too.”

The small smile that dances across Jessica’s mouth can’t be helped. Her heart swells, and she acknowledges if shehasto talk about it, at least there will be pie.

Without second guessing herself, she slips from between the sheets, leaving the robe, and makes her way to the bathroom. She takes a couple minutes to splash her face with water, rinse out her mouth, and tug down her knotted bun, which fell loose in the middle of the night. The release of its hold feels good to her scalp, and she combs her fingers through her hair, leaving it in disarray. Bedhead is acceptable before coffee. She hardly looks at her reflection throughout all of this and is happy to escape it as she turns and walks out of the bathroom, through the bedroom, and into the open main room, where Stefano is already sitting at his dining room table set for two.

He watches her as she carefully pulls out the chair opposite him and sinks into it. Not knowing how to begin, Jessica chooses not to. She uses both hands to reach for her steaming mug of coffee and takes her time indulging in her first sip. A full two minutes of silence transpires between them before Stefano sets down his mug, props his forearms against the table, and leans toward her.

The compassion and love she sees reflected in the warm pool of his hazel eyes makes her want to shrink back away from him as he inquires, “Are you okay?”

Lowering her mug away from her lips, she hugs it to her chest and considers the question. It’s the same thing he asked her in the wee hours of the morning, at Clandestine’s, when she was naked, covered only by a top sheet. Now, wrapped in his clothes, she feels no less exposed. She’s convinced she’s not worthy of his careful treatment of her. Regardless of how much he loves her, it hurts her more the way he’spretendingnot to see right through her.

With a slight shake of her head, she replies, “You don’t have to do this.”

“Do what?” he murmurs, knitting his eyebrows together in confusion.

“Take care of me. Try to make me…feel better.”

“Yes. Yes, Ido. Fuck, Jess—I’m the reason you’re here. I’m the reason you cried yourself to sleep in my arms last night. Iletyou—”

“This isn’t your fault,” she interrupts, setting her mug on the table. She reaches for her fork with one hand, using the other to pull her fingers through her hair. Her gaze trained on her utensil, she turns it round and round, avoiding Stefano’s stare.

“Iagreed. I let this happen.”

“I would have…” Jessica’s face scrunches as she tries to stave off the overwhelming emotions she felt before sleep. Forcing herself to speak, to let the truth eradicate whatever guilt or misguided sense of responsibility her friend is shouldering, she continues, “I would have done it with or without your help. You know that. I forced your hand.”

“Bullshit,” he scoffs. He reaches across the table, covering her hand with his, effectively putting an end to her fidgeting. “You’re gorgeous, and Bea wouldn’t have been able to deny that, but I could have convinced her not to—”

Yanking her hand out from underneath his, she raises her gaze as she hisses, “It doesn’t matter. It’s done. You don’t get to feel sorry for me, Huey.”

“Dove—”

Jessica slams her fork down against the glass table, the sting at the back of her eyes an announcement that she’s got more tears left to shed as she erupts, “I liked it!” Even as her tears start to well up, her face growing red in shame, she stares at her best friend and admits, “He fucked me better than I’ve ever been fuckedin. my. life.The man hardly speaks, but he worshipped my body like I was some goddess andheowedmesomething rather than the other way around. I didn’t fake an orgasmonce. Notonce.” She blinks, and her first couple of tears race down her cheeks, allowing her to see the stunned expression on Stefano’s face. With a gasp, she almost chokes on a sob as she realizes all she’s said. Closing her watery eyes, she bows her head and mutters, “I’m a slut. I let someonepayme for sex, and I liked it. No. Ilovedit. So, you see? You don’t have to take care of me. I don’t deserve it. Not from you.”

She doesn’t open her eyes or bother to look up as she tries to get a grip. Even when she hears Stefano scoot his chair back. Even when she feels his presence at her side. Even when he squats down next to her, resting his hands against her thigh.

“Jess,” he whispers, giving her leg a squeeze. “Jessica,lookat me.”

“I can’t,” she breathes.

“Fine. Then listen. You’re not a slut, do you hear me? I know you. Better than anyone. I know how many men you’ve slept with. Hell, we both know your number is smaller than mine. If anyone’s the slut here, it’s me.”

As much as she wants to find validity in his statement, she can’t. Still, what he says beckons her to open her eyes, even if only to scowl down at him as she declares, “It’s not the same.”

“No. You’re right. Remember that guy Carl? All looks and no skill. Didn’t get me off. Selfish bastard. Had to take care of myself after he passed out.”

“Huey, stop,” Jessica pleads. “It’snotthe same.”

For a second, he obeys. When he reaches up to graze the backs of his fingers down her cheeks, drying her tears, he proceeds to ignore her and says, “He’s hot. Don’t need to see him naked to know what’s underneath those clothes would be enough to get me off with nary a wink.” He offers Jessica a sly smirk, and her cheeks turn rosy as she shakes her head at him. “I’m just saying, there’s nothing wrong with being attracted to him. Not to mention, Ichosehim for youbecauseof his reputation. I knew he’d be good to you.”

“But—”

“No. No buts, Jess. He made you feel good. That doesn’t make you a slut, it makes him good in the sack. And—look, you know I don’t believe in karma, but the whole reason you’re doing this is so you can take care of your mom. Maybe this was the universe’s way of giving you a fucking break.”

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