Page 3 of Bad Pucking Roommate

“The difference is you’re not just having a little fun between the sheets.” I explain the semantics between fucking andfucking. “You like him.”

“I do. I really do.”

“You know, he’d probably be on board with watching.” Once again, my anxiety speaks before my mind can catch up to my mouth.Dammit. But to be fair, I wouldn’t have gone that route if Tripp wasn’t so brazenly obsessed with sex. The guy literally talks about dick like it’s a food group.

“He probably would.” Noah sighs heavily, and I mentally curse myself for bringing it up since I can tell he doesn’t like that idea.

“But you aren’t,” I finish the thought for him.

“Not really, no.”

“So, this is serious with you two?” As his friend, I get it, and I’m happy for him. He deserves to have someone special in his life. As an athlete, I’m freaking the fuck out.

“I don’t know. It wasn’t supposed to be, then this injury happened and… Things feel different now. But I haven’t acknowledged that out loud. All I know is whatever this is, I don’t want it to end.”

“You’re going to leave me hanging over something you aren’t even sure is serious?” I make a lame attempt to be funny.

“You’re going to give me shit over being sexually confused after I suffered through years of helping you with your unconventional pre-game ritual?”

“Suffered?” I inhale sharply. “I thought it didn’t bother you?”

The reason Noah helped me all these years, or so I thought, is that myuniqueneeds didn’t make him uncomfortable.

“I didn’t mean it like that, sorry.” He apologizes. “It didn’t bother me.”

Goodto know I wasn’t delusional. Although, it doesn’t totally clarify things. For years, Noah had no interest in relationships. Hell, I don’t even think he had sex. Then suddenly he’s sleeping with aguy.

Not that I give a shit who he sleeps with. My teammate Niko, who’s cool as fuck and a virtual prodigy on the ice, is gay and dating our coach’s son. Plus, my particular ritual means a man is usually present when I’m fucking, even if I’m not fucking him. That shit doesn’t bother me, it just surprises me that after all these years of Noah being single and, presumably straight, he falls for a man.

“About that. Were you gay this whole time? I don’t care if you were, I just thought that wasn’t your thing.”

“I didn’t think it was either. And I wouldn’t say I’m gay since I’m not attracted to all men. Just Tripp.”

“Pfft. I’m way hotter than Tripp,” I mutter for reasons I don’t understand.

“You sound like you want me to be attracted to you.”

“I don’t,” I rush to clarify, because me and Noah just...no. Still, learning that a guy who’s seen you naked is indifferent to you but not to someone else is jarring. “Having you watch was never about attraction, it’s a superstition I haven’t been able to shake in…forever. But it kinda bruises my ego anyway. I know that doesn’t make any sense. Maybe I’m just freaking out over what to do before games.”

“What if you video chatted someone else. Whoever you have that arrangement with here?”

Charlie and Jessie are pretty cool about helping me out before home games, but I don’t know if they’d add road games to the mix. That’s over eighty games, not including the playoffs, and while they invite me into their bedroom for half that already, anything more is probably asking too much. Still, I pretend it’s an option for Noah’s sake.

“I guess I could try that. So, what are you gonna do about Tripp? Think you’ll tell him you’re into him?”

Even though I’m happy for Noah, or want to be, it’s strange to be having this conversation. Or rather, it’s strange to be having itnow, when they’ve been hooking up for a while. I guess I figured this is the sort of thing Noah would tell me about in real time instead of after the fact. While he mentioned a few weeks back that he’d kept quiet because he wanted to figure things out himself, it’s still weird to think that this guy who knows some of the most personal details about me didn’t feel comfortable reciprocating. I’m trying not to dwell on it though.

“I thought I might ask him on a date,” Noah says.

I tell him that sounds good and sign off even though it seems backward to me. They’re already fucking so I don’t see how going on a date changes anything, but since Noah’s suspending our arrangement in consideration of Tripp, I’m guessing he’s a bit of a romantic. It makes me feel a little guilty for asking him to do the least romantic thing on the planet so I could have a good game, but shitty as that is, my biggest concern is finding someone else to take his place.

We have a game coming up in Seattle in five days, and I’m not sure that’s enough time to lay the groundwork for a replacement. Let’s face it, what I’m asking people to do isn’t exactly normal, outside a kink club anyway, and Coach would kill me if I got caught at one of those.

Yeah, they’re supposedly discreet, but I trust my teammates’ discretion way more than some rando from a club, even with the NDA I’ve heard is standard to visit places like those. Plus, I typically pass out hard afterward—I think part of why my ritual works is it helps me sleep like a baby—I’d rather take care of things at my hotel than have to navigate my way back to it afterward.

That’s why having Noah as my roommate for the past several years was so perfect. Without him, I guess I could go back to asking oneof the guys if they’d like to share a girl—no surprise but lots of puck bunnies are very willing participants in that scenario—but who?

I can’t ask just anyone. We may be teammates, but that doesn’t mean we’re all besties. The guys I’m closest to are all spoken for, except Justus, but he’s like Captain America and the best do-gooder boy scout rolled into one. I honestly can’t see him having sex before marriage let alone sharing a woman—he’s that fucking innocent. I’m shook that I haven’t seen him wearing a purity ring, yet.

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