Page 14 of Bad Pucking Roommate

“Doesn’t everyone want to be alone when they play like shit?”

“Yeah. That doesn’t mean they should be though.”

His head bobs slightly—almost like he’s saying I make a good point—before he tosses back the rest of his drink.

“And that first night? I didn’t have a bad game before you stopped by my room.”

“Niko really did want the room to himself.” Even though I offered, it’s still the truth. “But that time I just had this nagging feeling that something was up with you. I figured I’d be a bad teammate if I didn’t check to make sure you were okay.”

“And you stayed because…?” he prompts.

Crap.We managed to go on like that night didn’t happen, which I would’ve preferred since I’m still not entirely sure what that was about. Grandpa always says honesty is the best policy, so...

“I don’t know how to answer that.” Luca arches a skeptical brow in my direction, and I hold up my hands like I’m not hiding anything. “I’m not trying to be evasive. I honestly don’t know if I can explain it.”

“Try.” The pleading look in his eyes reminds me of that night, and even though I don’t expect my words to make any sense, I say them out loud.

“I got the sense you needed me. Not in a teammate way like how I just sort of know where you need me on the ice, more like…as a friend, I guess?” I feel myself wincing as I wait for him to tell me I’m imagining things, which is totally possible since I sometimes wonder if that night was even real. Instead, his shoulders droop as he dips his head.

“I did.” His words are barely more than a whisper, but in the quiet of the room they seem to echo. “That doesn’t bother you though? It wasn’t exactly a normal thing to ask a friend.”

Thinking back to that night, and what Staci said offhand, I take a leap. “If I’m putting the pieces together correctly, Noah’s done the same thing, and I know that was maybe different, but...”

“Yeah, it’s different with Noah. He was there for me, but… Fuck this is hard to put into words.”

He runs a hand through his hair as he seems to gather his thoughts, and since I can sense his distress, I try to take some of the burden off him. “It’s okay. I’m sure it’s hard to have Noah move on with Tripp. It makes sense that his absence would mess with your game, and I know I can’t take his place, but I am here for you. As your friend. And I’ll keep this between us. I won’t tell anyone how you feel about Noah.”

Luca blinks at me like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “You think… I’m not… What are you saying?”

“Well, you were obviouslyinvolvedwith Noah, and I know I’m not him—”

“You think I was involved with Noah?” Luca’s eyes are wide with shock.

“Um, yeah. I mean Staci said he’s usually there, and you’ve been a little off since he’s been out, so…” I trail off when I realize Luca’s looking at me like I sprouted two heads.Did I read that wrong?

“Noah and I were neverinvolved. We were just roommates, and yes, he was present when I…” Luca gets a distant look on his face as he worries his bottom lip, which for some reason I can’t seem to look away from. Then the tip of his tongue slips between them and he takes a deep breath. “Noah’s body was physically in the room but his mind… I don’t where the fuck his mind was. And it didn’t matter since I could fill in the blanks however I wanted. With you, you werethere.”

He’s got those pleading eyes again, like he’s willing me to understand what he doesn’t know how to say. And the crazy thing is I think I do.

“I told you, it felt like you needed me. I couldn’t mentally check out on you. I wouldn’t do that.”

Luca’s eyes flash to mine with what almost seems like panic. “You shouldn’t say that.”

“What?” The distress in his expression makes me recoil slightly. “Why?”

“Because I’m selfish and you’re selfless.”

“Now you’re just making stuff up. How many hours have you spent working with me after practice so I could improve my game? Dozens at least. That’s not selfish.”

“It is when it feeds my ego that you want my help.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re selfish. Arrogant, maybe.” His lip curls up just a fraction, just like I hoped it would. “But that’s pretty standard amongst NHL players.”

I don’t mean that in a bad way. It takes a ridiculous amount of discipline and work to make it to this point, so players that do get here have every right to be a bit arrogant.

“You aren’t.” Luca brings my attention back to the conversation.

“Only because my family wouldn’t let me get too full of myself. They didn’t make any exceptions for me because of hockey, like getting to skip chores or stay out late or…anything.”

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