Page 19 of Bad Pucking Roommate

“Is it something to worry about if it’s helping Luca play well? That’s what we all want, right?” I ask.

Niko locks and unlocks his jaw. “We want him to play well, yeah. But not at your expense.”

“How would helping him hurt me?”

“Justus.” Niko’s expression turns soft. “We all know he was your favorite player growing up, and you’re kind of enamored with him. Not in a detrimental way—I think the fact you know his game so well makes you two a force to be reckoned with—but doing what you’re doing off the ice might get…misconstrued.”

“Misconstrued how?”

“It could make you see things that aren’t there, like a deeper friendship when all Luca sees is a teammate. Or a romantic relationship when Luca sees a friend.”

“Why would romance come into it? Neither of us is gay or bi.”

“Neither was Noah until he started confiding some of his issues to Tripp.” Niko looks almost guilty, as if he’s pointing out something I can’t or don’t want to admit.

“So, you’re saying guys can’t see each other do…stuff without becoming gay or bi?”

“No, I’m saying I think you’d do anything Luca asked you, anything at all, regardless of how you felt about it. And I don’t want to see you compromising who you are for someone else.”

Is that what I’m doing? I admit, the first few times I sat in on Luca’ssessionswere purely for his benefit, and maybe they still are, but does that mean I’m compromising who I am to please him? Logically, I can see why Niko might think that. I’m hardly the most experienced or outspoken guy on the team, so I might come off as the type of guy who would have a moral or ethical objection to what Luca’s doing. I don’t, though.

I understand how he got to this place, and that he doesn’t even want to be here. He just doesn’t know what else to do. Maybe if he reveled in his interesting method of getting ready for a game I’d feel differently, but since there’s nothing malicious in his actions, I don’t see any fault in them. If I did see any evil intent and still helped him, that’d be compromising myself, so I can safely say I’m not going down that road.

“I hear what you’re saying, and I even get why you’re saying it.” I spin so I’m facing Niko’s bed instead of the TV and the quiet voices coming from it. “Not many people get to meet their heroes, and it’s easy to assume those that do will bend over backward for a chance to impress them. I might’ve done that myself, on the ice, but I’m not doing that now.”

“How can you be so sure? No offense, but it wouldn’t shock me if you see things differently when it comes to him.”

“It’s not like Luca said jump and I asked how high. He didn’t even approach me for help, it was more of a right place, right time thing. Orwrong place, wrong time if you want to look at it that way. Even then, he tried to refuse my help.”

“That’s my point right there.” Niko spins so he’s mirroring me, feet planted on the tiny strip of flooring between our beds, and points a finger at my chest. “He tried to refuse your help, but you still visit his room the night before every game. You can’t say no, even when he tells you to.”

Holding his gaze, I nod my head. “You’re not wrong, but you’re not right either. I insisted on helping because I could, not because I felt obligated or didn’t want to disappoint Luca. And I promise, if this was something I was uncomfortable with I’d say no. It just happens to be something that doesn’t bother me.”

I consider telling him those moments with Luca feel like they bring us together in a more meaningful way than what we have on the ice, but I figure that won’t help my case.

“Would it bother you if it were anyone other than Luca?” Niko asks. “Be honest.”

“Yes and no. And before you blame that on the fact I idolized Luca as a kid, you should know my hesitation is because I don’t know anyone else’s intent. Luca and I had an in-depth conversation about what he does and why, and that knowledge is what makes me comfortable with my role.”

“I guess that’s fair.” Niko exhales heavily. “I still worry about you though. Whether intended or not, situations like this can morph into something else. Even when you think the lines are clearly straight.”

“What does that mean?” I ask, since I think the word he meant to use wasdefined.

“I guess we’ll find out.”

Chapter nine

Luca

I’m an asshole.

Instead of looking for a way to fix my issues that doesn’t involve my once innocent teammate, I’m relying on Justus to come by my room, or my house, to get me squared away before every game. The worst part—I’m playing so well I don’t even feel guilty about it.

It’s not just me who’s on fire though. Between the two of us, Justus and I have scored eighteen points in five games. We’re basically averaging what entire teams score, and while we aren’t the only guys on the Bulldogs who have found the back of the net, we’re finding it more consistently.

The two of us have developed a rhythm our opponents are struggling to contain, and if we thought we were in sync before, we’re damn near unified now. We’re so in tune with each other on the ice it’s like we’re sharing the same brain, and if we keep this up, I don’t think there’s a team in the league who can stop us.

So, yeah. I’m an asshole, but if that results in a cup at the end of the season, I can live with it. Besides, Justus isn’t complaining.

---