Page 108 of Voracious

Bernadette shows up and makes me fuck her. He sometimes watches.

They send me to other countries to work with highly skilled teams who train me in weapons and hand-to-hand combat. Months of training that nearly kills me.

My knuckles are permanently scarred.

Stacey doesn’t reach out to me again. I blocked her, but I want to unblock her and beg her to run away with me – I’d run and never look back.

She broke my heart, but I want her back. I miss her. I love her.

I strangle someone until my hands cramp.

A Latvian man begs me to stop before I put a bullet between his eyes. I think I might be done – I might be free, but no matter how much havoc I cause, they always want more from me.

Another death. Another fuck. Another drug.

Another memory of Stacey holding me together.

When I screw up, Dad either gets the punishment – or I do.

Bernadette tells me to fuck her friends, and they pay me. I have to do it or they’ll target my family, but each time I push into someone, I try to think of her.

I always think of her.

She’s the only memory in my head that’s holding me in place. My anchor.

My friends think I’m partying in Stirling and getting my head down with my studies – but instead, I’m slowly dying. I’m trapped in subspace, falling, falling, falling, and I can’t find Stacey’s hand to catch me.

For the next two years, I die a little more each day, until the version ofKadeMitchell I want to be turns into a ghost. My soul is shattered and broken, and I lose all the pieces, unable to glue it back together.

Look at me now, my little princess. Daddy’s gone, and he’s never coming back.

30

STACEY

TEN MONTHS LATER

“Wow! Look how pretty you are!” I clip a frilly pink bow into Eva’s hair and straighten her bib, which says,I’m Mommy’s little princess.

I fidget her baby shoes onto her feet and wipe her small hands, chuckling when she tries to take the cloth from me. Once I get my coat on and slip on Eva’s, I check the nappy bag and make sure I have my purse and phone.

I walk over to the sitting room with Eva on my hip and grab my bank card – I left it there after making an online purchase last night while Lisa and Barry went out on a date.

Barry and Lisa own this place – it’s on the outskirts of town so it’s very private, and I live in the basement, which is probably bigger than the average UK house.

Although I’m his live-in babysitter while Lisa goes back to work as a teacher, Barry works for me now, but he’s basically running everything. My bank account, thanks to Kade, gives me the heebie-jeebies whenever I check it.

The white SUV beeps as I unlock it, the lights of the garage flicking on. I fasten Eva into her seat then fold the pram and shove it in the back of the car. I got my full licence a few months ago, after failing the test three times. I’m still not sure how I passed, but here we are.

It took a huge debate and the threat of ending their marriage for Lisa to convince Barry to let me take their daughter in my car. The audacity of that man when it comes to safety baffles me, considering he drives like a lunatic. But when I said I was taking her to see Tobias? Barry nearly had a heart attack.

Lisa told him to shut up.

Smoothly, I pull out of the garage and set the satnav on instinct, even though I’ve done this journey twice a day for nearly a year. It says I’ll arrive at my destination in twenty-seven minutes, so I play some Disney songs for Eva on the way.

She won’t ever admit it, but she loves my singing voice.

Unlike some people.

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