Page 75 of Voracious

Jason meets me at his house once I drop Stacey off at the studio. I told him it was important and couldn’t wait. But now, as I sit on his sofa and my leg bounces with a mix of excitement and anxiousness, I don’t know how to say the words.

He might think I’m too young, that I’m an idiot for wanting to keep the kid. Maybe he’ll say I’m selfish because I might pass my father’s issues to my child, or that I’m barely stable myself.

But I am. The dosage of mymedshas been lowered, and I don’t have as many bad thoughts anymore. I draw a lot – Stacey has a collection of my designs for tattoos. All I think about is her and the future we have, of the son or daughter she’ll give me in a matter of months. This time next year, I’ll be a dad.

I still can’t believe it – we’ve known the news for over two weeks now.

Jason hands me a beer as he sits on the sofa opposite, his work clothes still on. “What’s up?”

Just get it over with. “It’s Stacey,” I say, chewing my lip. “She’s—”

“Did you guys break up? That sucks. You were good for each other, and I actually liked the girl. Did you fuck it up? Do I need to beat your ass?”

I sink into the sofa, my arm slung over the back as I glare at him. “You done?”

He smiles as he gulps his beer. “Depends.” He settles the bottle on the coffee table between us. “Did you fuck up?”

“We’re fine,” I snap, annoyed with him. “She’s pregnant.”

Jason is silent as he looks at me, his head tilted. “Really? Is it yours?”

“Careful,” I warn. “She’s my fucking girlfriend. Who else would the father be?”

He bursts out laughing, and I calculate how fast I can knock him out as he gets to his feet. “I’m messing with you, little bro. This is fucking fantastic.” Then he stops. “Wait. It’s fantastic, right?”

I tip my head back. His happiness irks me for no reason. He’s always the cheery one, always trying to get me to be the same. “Right.”

He opens his arms wide, waiting for an embrace. I raise a brow, and he huffs. “Give me a hug or I’ll force one upon you.”

“You sound like Base.” He’s overly affectionate and wants to hug every fucking chance he gets. I roll my eyes, but a smile breaks out as we pat each other’s back and I quickly step away. “So, uh, yeah. Looks like I’m going to be a dad.”

“How far along is she?”

“Just over fourteen weeks.”

The corner of his lips pulls up, and he bobs his head. “So you’re happy about it?”

“Yeah. It was a bit of a shock when we found out, but yeah, we’re happy.”

I’ve become obsessive and overprotective with Stacey ever since we saw those positive tests. She calls me overbearing when I hold her hand going downstairs, and tuts at me when I make a fuss of her dancing for too long.

I don’t want to be controlling – I never want to be like that, but I worry. It’s in my blood to be a worrier and anoverthinkerand to be a possessive dickhead – to message her to make sure she’s drunk enough water or eaten lunch, even going as far as ordering herfavouritefood to her house when I’m not with her to make sure she eats.

Mum thinks I need to relax. Dad thinks it’s completely acceptable to have anxiety over everything Stacey does and laughs about how my child will have two guard dogs by her side.

Milo and Hopper are good dogs. I’ve trained them well,socialisedthem as much as possible in public and trainingcentresaround Scotland. Me and Base took them up the mountains the other weekend, where we camped and swam in the loch – I’ll keep doing things with them, keep them involved even when my kid is here.

Jason sits back on the sofa and crosses his ankle at his knee. “I thoughtGianaand I were going to be the first parents of the three of us, but you beat me to it.”

Gianawants to get married to my big brother first. It seems me and Stacey will be doing it in reverse. She’ll already be the mother to my child; all that’s left is for her to be my wife.

Fuck. Imagine that? Stacey Mitchell. It has a ring to it, kinda? Wait, would she even want the same name as my dad?

Maybe I’ll take her name.KadeRhodes.

No.

“Lucielladoesn’t know about us yet,” I say with a sigh. “Stacey says she wants to wait until we know the sex. She thinks knowing it’s a boy or a girl will soften whatever blow she’ll send her way.”

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