Page 126 of Voracious

“Well, I can assure you that he doesn’t love you anymore.”

I turn my body to fully face him, my arms crossed. “It’s been four years since I started falling for him. I know he might not care for me, but I willalwayslove him.”

My throat is captured in a firm grip as he turns my face towards the screen. “Your love for him is worthless. He’s not the same. I’ve watched every single clip of him. She has a folder filled with hundreds – and I meanhundreds– of videos of him doing horrific things. His hands are filthy.” He pushes my face away. “A lot dirtier than his lunatic father’s, that’s for sure.”

The resounding slap reaches my ears before I realise what I’ve done. But I don’t wait for him to retaliate – I turn my back and train my eyes on the screen once more.

“You just fucking hit me again.”

“As always, your observation skills are on point. Congratulations,” I reply, watching Kade reach to the side to grab a cigarette – or maybe it’s a joint? He lights it up, trying not to wake Cassie as he slides his arm free from beneath her head.

I feel like I shouldn’t watch, but I can’t stop. It’s been so long – he’s right there.

He sits up and takes a draw, blowing out a cloud of smoke that slowly rises to the ceiling before dissipating.

He grabs something from the bedside unit, twists it open then starts rubbing some sort of cream from the corner of his mouth, down his chin, all the way to the middle of his chest. I can’t quite make it out in the video’s low light.

Kade puts it back and studies his hand, which is very obviously shaking. I wish I was there to kneel in front of him and tell him it’s okay. Tell him his dad is coming to get him out of the mess he’s in. We’ll do what we can. We care for him and love him.

Hold on a little longer. Please.

As much as he broke my heart in numerous ways, I’m going to do everything I can to help him. Including ruining the deal Chris wants to make with Bernadette. Instead of my safety, I’m going to trade everything she wants for Kade.

I tilt my head, watching him stand and stare into a mirror, tracing the trail of cream with his finger again. I continue ignoring Chris, who’s still holding his cheek like the dramatic idiot he is.

“Are you jealous?”

I tut. “Go away.”

Chris chuckles. “You’re the one in this room. The one I told younotto come into.”

I tense all over as he comes up behind me and rests his chin on my shoulder, his hands on my sides. I try to shrug him off, but he digs his fingers into my ribs.

“If you want, we can send him a video of us doing the same. A little cuddle wouldn’t hurt, sweetheart.”

“I’d rather die.”

Kade glances around the room, stubs out the smoke, then hunts for his clothes without waking Cassie. He looks like he has more tattoos and even more muscles.

I miss him. I miss him so much that sometimes I find it hard to breathe. My bedside unit had a picture of us. I looked at it every night before I fell asleep. It was a little obsessive, considering we were done and all, but I’ve never really been able to move on.

And like everything else me-and-Kade, that’s also gone.

But I still love him.

Kade doesn’t love me anymore though. Why would he? I’m the lousy one who’s clinging to the emotions – he moved on. Once upon a time, we stood on a Greek beach next to a cave, full of laughter, happiness and alcohol, and Kade poured his heart out to me. He loved me then.

I remember every single word that made my heart beat faster, made it swell in my chest and gave me hope that I could have a happy ever after with him. We were teenagers, but we knew what we wanted.

“Are you going to be my forever, Freckles?”

What is forever if it’s not with him?

It felt like everything had fallen perfectly into place when he asked me that. I had true love, friends, my passion for dancing, a chance at a life I never knew I’d get because of the prick standing right behind me.

I had it all, and Chris ruined it.

Instead of running for a knife and slashing his throat like I should, I glance over my shoulder and ask again, “How do you have access to all of this?”

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