Page 58 of The Girl in Room 12

‘You can’t have wine, Max. You’ve just been in hospital. And what about your medication?’

He glares at me for a moment before speaking. ‘You have some then. I’ll have a Prime. There’s some in the fridge. That’s allowed, isn’t it?’

‘Yes.’ I go to the fridge to get his drink, but don’t get myself wine. Instead, I fill a glass with water. There’s something off about Max tonight. Even more so than over the last few months. ‘What’s wrong?’ I hand him his bottle.

He unscrews the lid and takes a sip before answering. ‘What do you think is wrong?’

‘I… I don’t know.’ I drink my water too quickly and it hurts my throat

‘This, of course,’ he says, waving his arms. ‘I’mall wrong.’

‘I know it must be difficult. Not remembering. It’s?—’

‘I’ve done a lot of thinking about that since I got out of hospital. And I don’t think my attack was random.’ He searches my face. ‘I think someone was waiting for me.’

‘Have the police said that?’

‘No. But it’s my gut instinct. I’m never wrong about things I believe, am I? All the times I’ve said something will happen – doesn’t it always? Remember when you were pregnant with Poppy? I told you before you even missed your period, didn’t I? I just felt it.’

This is true. We hadn’t even been trying for a baby, but one day Max looked at me and said he thought I was pregnant. I’d laughed, of course. I was taking the pill, and my period wasn’t due for a few days so I wasn’t even late. But somehow heknew.

I nod.

‘And when I felt that Peter was going to leave. He hadn’t said a thing to me.’

Again this is true.

‘And I’m right now. I just can’t prove it.’

‘You really can’t remember any of it? Nothing at all?’

‘No. But I get the feeling that if I did, this whole conversation would be very different.’

I’m tempted not to ask Max what he means. The answer won’t be anything I want to hear. But he’ll tell me anyway. ‘What does that mean?’

He looks at me for too long without saying anything, and it takes all my effort not to turn away.

‘Just that all of this would be different,’ he says. ‘If I could remember. Wouldn’t it? Like that filmSliding Doors. One second is enough to change lives.’

‘I…I think I’ll go to bed,’ I say, picking up my glass of water.

‘Good idea. I’ll come with you.’

Max watches me while I change into my pyjamas. Before Alice’s murder, I wouldn’t have thought twice about peeling off my clothes in front of him, or walking around half dressed. Now I’m as conscious of his eyes on me as I would be if he was a stranger.He is.I have to remember that Max is not the man I married. I can’t lose sight of that.

I get into bed and pull the covers up to my neck.

‘Why would someone attack me?’ Max asks. He’s not going to let this go.

‘Until the police say it was deliberate, I don’t think we should dwell on that. You’re here now. Safe.’

But am I?

He gets into bed. ‘They’ve told me they can’t rule out that someone targeted me.’ He stares at me. ‘And you’re not safe anywhere if someone wants you dead.’ He turns onto his side, and it dawns on me how he seems stronger than he was only yesterday.

‘The truth always comes out,’ I say.

He shakes his head. ‘I think you’re wrong. Sometimes it manages to stay hidden.’

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