Page 18 of Face Her Fear

They split up to search for Meg. Nicola and Brian were assigned the area north of the camp, in the direction of the summit. Taryn was tasked with searching behind the line of cabins while Alice took the wooded area across from them. Josie and Sandrine headed down the path leading from the camp to the bottom of the mountain. Josie was heartened to find that, at the very least, Cooper kept walkie-talkies in the kitchen of the main house. There were four. Exactly enough. Josie toggled the volume button as she and Sandrine made their way down the path past the rage room and shed.

Brian’s voice came through as a series of squawks. “Can you hear me?”

Before Josie could respond, there was a screech of static and then Taryn said, “Yes. Can you hear me?”

Once everyone had checked in, Josie pressed the talk button and said, “We don’t know how much of a charge these things have or how long the batteries will last. Let’s try to conserve for now.”

In return, she received three bursts of static followed by three agreements. Then the device went silent. Sandrine huffed along beside Josie, holding up the edge of her maxi dress as they walked into the trees. “How far do those reach?”

“No idea,” Josie said. “I’m guessing we’ll find out.”

The snow overtook the tops of Josie’s boots, making a band of ice around her calves. Ahead, it was undisturbed except for what looked like the slightest of depressions where drifts hadn’t formed. Were they from footsteps made in the initial snowfall that had then been filled in by the overnight storm? Cooper’s or Meg’s? Or both? It was impossible to tell. It could be nothing at all. It could be from the bear.

The wind lashed at them, stinging Josie’s face. The snowflakes were coming down more quickly than before.

It was only going to get worse.

Josie said, “You led the sound bath last night. When Meg left, did she seem upset about anything?”

“No,” Sandrine said.

“Had she complained to you about anything this week other than what was discussed in sessions?”

“What do you mean?”

A gust of wind tore through the trees to their left and slapped at them, so strong that Sandrine stumbled. She grabbed onto Josie’s arm for balance. As Josie helped her regain her footing, she noticed her teeth were chattering. She took a moment to gather the bottom of her maxi dress and tie it into a knot that fell alongside her left thigh, keeping it from hampering her steps.

“I mean was she having any issues at this retreat? Were any other members bothering her? Was there anything that was not to her liking?”

“Oh,” said Sandrine, holding onto Josie’s arm as they pushed ahead. “No. Not really.”

“It’s just you and me here, Sandrine. Can you think of any reason why she would run off in the middle of the night during a snowstorm?”

“No, I can’t. Meg was very engaged in all the activities this week. She even said that she wished the retreat was longer.”

That was the impression that Josie had gotten as well, which made the blossoming dread in her stomach expand with every moment they were out looking for Meg. If she hadn’t had a reason to leave, why had she? Maybe it was the police officer in her, but Josie immediately wondered about the possibility, however slim, that she had been taken. While it was hard to imagine someone stalking the woods here in Sullivan County, given the size of the area they covered, Josie knew from experience that sometimes monsters lurked in remote places. Denton had been known to harbor monsters in its forests. The kind who masqueraded as men and targeted young women and girls. Of everyone there, Meg was the youngest. She was also very attractive, and small enough to be easily overcome in a physical altercation. It had already happened to her once with her stalker. But the more likely possibility—the one Josie had been trying to fend off, even in her own mind—was that someone at the retreat was responsible for Meg not being in her cabin.

Sandrine’s hand was hooked inside Josie’s elbow. Josie’s shoulder burned with the weight of half dragging her along.

As if reading her mind, Sandrine said, “I know what you’re thinking. I was not prepared for a Pennsylvania winter. Well, I’m sad to say that you’re right. I wasn’t. This is my first winter retreat. I wasn’t even going to do it, but I thought, I’ve never done one in winter. People are stuck inside during this time of year. Depression is more prevalent. Maybe the winter is the best time to do this. With all of these, there’s a learning curve.”

Josie could barely feel her feet any longer. The cold sliced through her jeans, chilling her skin painfully. Her eyes scanned every part of the trail and its surroundings as they struggled along. She could feel Sandrine shivering against her. To keep both their minds off the cold, Josie tried to keep the conversation going. “You’re not used to this weather, are you?”

“N-no. I’m originally from California. Well, I guess I’m not from anywhere. I bounced around my entire life—Oregon, Texas, New York—but spent a lot of time in California—and later, Florida. I always preferred w-warmer p-places.”

Josie tried to remember what she had read on Sandrine’s website back when she was deciding whether or not to go to the retreat. Sandrine had received her doctorate in psychology from UC Berkeley. Although in private practice she was Dr. Morrow, on the retreat she was simply Sandrine, warm, calm, soft-spoken, and aglow with some inner knowledge and peace that none of them possessed. Had Josie met her in a different context, she would have pegged her for a yoga instructor or the owner of an organic food market. Josie couldn’t remember where she had done her undergraduate work but other than her considerable professional accomplishments, the biography had not contained much personal information. She had shared little more with them during the week, joking that they weren’t there to unpack her baggage before neatly segueing into their first group session.

“Were your parents in the military?” Josie asked. “Is that why you bounced around?”

“Oh, no.” Sandrine gave a dry chuckle. “That would have been lovely, wouldn’t it? But no. It was because of my mother’s job.”

Another sharp blast of wind batted at them from behind, hurrying their descent along the path and causing them to stumble once more. Sandrine fell to her knees, pulling Josie along with her. The snow soaked the knees of her jeans in seconds. They struggled back to their feet. Josie looked behind them. It felt as though they’d been walking for hours and yet, Josie could still see the red of the rage-room building behind them as well as the small shed beside it.

“Shit,” she mumbled.

“What is it?” Sandrine said, teeth chattering now.

“You should go back,” Josie told her. “Back to the main house and wait.”

---