Page 38 of Finding Redemption

Brooke

Sariah and Bellaushered Luck out of the living room.He grumbled halfheartedly as their voices drifted down the hall toward the kitchen.As soon as it faded completely, I released a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

Paxton squeezed the back of my neck, kneading the tense muscles in my shoulders.“Let’s get you settled, kitten.”

Taking my hand, he led me through the house to the stairs.“You shouldn’t have ended your trip because of me,” I muttered, keeping my head lowered.

“It wasn’t just for you,” he growled, pulling my gaze to him.His jaw was clenched, his entire body seeming to vibrate with an energy I didn’t fully understand.“I didn’t even want to be there without you.It felt like the life was draining out of me being away from you and Bella.Yes, I wanted to be here to hold you and make it all better.But also, I’m a selfish bastard who was looking for an excuse to get back to you sooner.”

“Paxton…”

“I’m sorry you were scared,” he gritted out, guiding me up the stairs with a hand on my hip.“I’m even more sorry that I wasn’t here to begin with.It won’t happen again.If you can’t travel with me, I won’t be going.”

I wasn’t sure if I was light-headed from his nearness or the intensity of emotions he had swirling around inside me.Too much was happening at once.Between my relief at having him home, my guilt over his ending his trip because of my breakdown, his scent that calmed me, his touch that burned my skin…

It was all so overwhelming that I didn’t realize he’d steered me into his bedroom until the door shut behind us with an echoing click.His scent was thick in the air, caressing me like a gentle, physical touch.A king-size bed was the focal point of the room, the comforter and pillowcases in a crimson-and-black abstract pattern that was both masculine and artistic.

There were two pictures on the side table, both of him with Bella, Sariah, and Luck.They were all smiling, Bella’s dimple popping.It was a beautiful, mismatched family of choice, the three adults surrounding the little girl lovingly.

My heart jumped into my throat as I glanced up at Paxton.I wanted so badly to be a part of his family.To not be alone ever again.To call him and Bella mine.

His hazel eyes were turbulent as he gazed down at me.“I need to hold you.”

I heard an unspoken plea in his voice that had me taking an unconscious step closer to him, my fingers trembling as they toyed with the button on his shirt.“Please,” I whispered, needing to be held as much as he said he needed to hold me.

With a groan, he scooped me up with one arm under my knees, the other cradling my back as he carried me to his bed.He carefully laid me down, making sure my hair didn’t get tangled.

Paxton kicked off his shoes and shrugged off his shirt before climbing in behind me.I cuddled into him, pillowing my head on his chest, but I felt a little awkward.This was something new for me.No one had ever held me.At least, not since I was a little girl—and never like this.

Grasping my hand, he laid it over his stomach and then lightly ran his fingertips up and down my arm.Closing my eyes, I breathed in the scent on his skin, the perfect combination of woodsy and herbal, causing me to hum my pleasure.In my entire life, I couldn’t remember ever feeling as safe as I did with Paxton holding me.

Under my ear, his heartbeat was a frantic yet soothing rhythm.I could feel how clenched his entire body was, the need that seemed to vibrate out of every pore.My thighs clenched, but I tried not to rub them together, knowing he would guess how turned on I was if I did.

“I’ve been dreaming about this for weeks,” he confessed, his lips grazing my forehead.

I tilted my head back so I could see his face.“What, getting me in your bed?”

He smirked, but it quickly morphed into something more serious as his tone deepened.“That too, but mostly this.Holding you.I tried to let you get settled in before I touched you.Wanted you to feel at home here, because that’s what this is now.I knew once I got my hands on you, tasted you, I’d never let you go.But I wanted you to be comfortable here before I overwhelmed you, kitten.”

He stopped rubbing his fingers over my arm to twist a few locks of my thick hair around them.It was so seamless, I didn’t think he was even aware he did it.My hair fascinated everyone, but I loved how Paxton always seemed entranced by it when he looked at me.

“I missed you,” I whispered, emboldened by his admission.He made me imagine that this could really become home.With him and Bella.I hadn’t had that since before my mom died.Our house had stopped feeling like that a long time before she was killed by a drunk driver.Her obsession with finding someone to love ruined everything.

Back then, I’d sworn to myself that I would never fall in love.But I realized it wasn’t that Mom kept falling in love.She couldn’t find it, so she clung to whatever scraps she was tossed by the creeps she kept dating.

If she, for even one minute, had felt for any of them what I already did feel for Paxton, she would have been happy.

But he made me feel so cared for and protected that I knew if he let me down like everyone else, it would completely break me.That was what my stepmother had hoped my time at St.Andrew’s would accomplish.Destroy my will to survive.To want to give up.Maybe even end my life.I could practically hear her wicked cackle each time the headmistress would lock me in the cage.But I never let her have that kind of satisfaction.She wouldn’t win.

If she knew that Paxton Foster held the kind of power over me that she’d seemed to crave, she would lose her mind.

Rolling me onto my back, Paxton propped his head on one of his hands.I snuggled down into his pillow, feeling shy with him staring down at me with mossy eyes.Every time they changed from hazel, I got a thrill, but then I would get lost in the beauty of the gold swirling around in his irises.

“You are so damn beautiful.”He brushed his free hand over my hair, curling a few tendrils around his index finger.He watched the way the blond locks clung to his flesh with fascination mixed with adoration before he tore his gaze away and met mine.“Now that I have you here, where you belong, don’t you ever fucking leave.”

“This bed or the house?”

“Me,” he rasped, his throat working a few times.“Don’t ever leave me, baby.”

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