Page 15 of Finding Redemption

Me: I’m home.Now leave me alone.And stop calling me “kitten” or any other kind of cute little nickname.

Three dots immediately popped up, and then a new text appeared.

Paxton: Tell me why it bothers you.

Me: I don’t owe you an explanation.

Paxton: You’re right, you don’t owe me anything.But I wish you would tell me.

Without understanding why, I found my fingers flying across the screen as I unloaded.Paxton was the last person I should want to vent to, but I couldn’t stop myself.After I’d seen my uncle and found out my roommate and only friend must have known all along who he was to me, my emotions were a jumbled mess.

Me: My father and stepmother sent me away to a boarding school up north when I was sixteen.When the headmistress would lock me in the cage, she would say things like, “Now, honey, if you would only learn to behave, I wouldn’t have to put you in time-out again.”I was put in “time-out” a lot while I was there.But the cage was preferable to the beatings.What’s a few days in a confined space without water or food when the alternative is being beaten so badly you can’t walk?All while being called “honey” and “sweetheart” and “sugar.”

After I hit send, I powered off my phone and threw it on my bed.He knew I was home, so there was no reason for him to ever text me again.But that didn’t mean he would leave me alone.I’d felt a tug, a connection with Paxton the moment I’d met him.Even as I’d demanded he apologize, I’d continued to feel it.But it was dangerous.My heart was already too vulnerable.If I wasn’t careful, he might steal what little was left of it after surviving the nightmare that had been labeled a boarding school.

My time at St.Andrew’s had been traumatic, but I wouldn’t live my life as a victim.I’d found a way to move on.Mostly.When I’d had the chance to run away, I’d taken it.It meant being unable to finish my education.No high school diploma made it difficult to find a job, so I’d been on the streets and in and out of shelters for a few years.

Once I got my GED, things turned around.Sandra hired me.She paid well, and I got decent tips, especially after the bigger events.I saved up and was able to afford the rent on my current apartment.I even had a small savings and a little extra money, thanks to my weekend princess party business.

It didn’t matter that Sariah had betrayed me.Honestly, I’d expected it to happen eventually.Not the way it had, but I’d figured it would be something somewhere down the line.All I had to do was reinforce the walls around my heart and I’d be fine.

I gave myself until the end of my shower to cry, but as soon as I turned off the water, I dried my tears with my fluffy towel and crawled into bed.

I was safe.

I wasn’t bleeding or broken anywhere.

I had a soft bed to sleep in and food in the fridge that I could eat whenever I wanted.

After repeating those affirmations aloud, I closed my eyes and let sleep take me.

ChapterNine

Brooke

Drinking was notsomething I’d ever allowed myself to experiment with.I didn’t even indulge when I turned twenty-one.At the time, I’d been in a women-only homeless shelter and alcohol and drugs were prohibited, but I wouldn’t have touched either if I’d been given the chance.

A drunk driver had taken my mom from me.There was no way I would ever touch that poison.

Yet when I crawled out of bed the next afternoon, having slept for eighteen straight hours, I imagined the pounding in my head and the way my stomach was tossing were similar to how a hangover might have felt.My entire face felt swollen, not just my dry, gritty eyes.Migraines sucked.

Only lifting my eyelids enough to see where I was going, I whimpered as the brightness of the living room and kitchen caused the pain in my head to pulse harder.I needed caffeine and some Excedrin.That was the only migraine treatment I could afford.Doctors’ visits were expensive, and medication was even more so.Unless it was life or death, I saw no reason to spend my hard-earned money.

Although, there were times I prayed for death just to get away from the agony of the debilitating headaches.

Stumbling to the kitchen, I made a strong pot of coffee and then opened the cabinet where Sariah kept over-the-counter medication.Tylenol.Advil.Aspirin.

“Please have some,” I muttered to myself as I shifted bottles around, blinking against the tears that burned my eyes from the harsh glare of the sunlight.

I’d been meaning to stop to grab a bottle of Excedrin Migraine after taking the last two I’d had the week before, but it kept slipping my mind.Tears spilled from the corners of my eyes, but now I wasn’t sure if they were from the light sensitivity, the pounding behind my eyeballs, or in utter defeat because Sariah was missing the one product I was desperate for.

Aspirin and the other over-the-counter pain relief wouldn’t touch the throbbing agony I was in.Most of them would just upset my stomach more than it already was.Holding back a whine, I poured a large mug of coffee and grabbed the chilled eye mask from the freezer.

My dark room was a small relief, and I carefully made my way back to bed.Propping myself up against the pillows, I secured the mask over my eyes and then sipped at my coffee until it was gone.I hoped it would be enough, but I went through this torment at least five times a month.I had to wait it out, because there was no way I was going to be able to function enough to get to a pharmacy for what I needed.

And I’d rather suffer than ask Sariah to help me.

At least, that’s what I told myself.But two hours later, when I’d cleaned myself up after vomiting all the coffee I’d been able to suck down, I had a drastic change of heart.Groaning, I searched for my phone.With trembling fingers, I powered it back on and hit connect on the first number in my recent call log.

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