Over the past six years, I’d done my best.Loving Bella wasn’t hard.It was all the other stuff that I failed at miserably.Now, I realized how abysmally I’d failed to keep my little girl safe from the same monster who had been responsible for half of her mother’s nightmares.
First, I needed to get Bella more settled.Try to make up for all the stress she’d been under and I hadn’t seen.Who the fuck cared if I spoiled her?She was my kid.My money.My time.I’d do what I wanted with it.I wasn’t trying to buy her love or forgiveness.The only thing I wanted was for her to know that if she needed or wanted anything, all she had to do was tell me.
While I was focused on Bella, I had Luck working on everything else.Security would be tighter.Henry didn’t know about Jannel because he’d been my personal guard up until Brooke came into our lives.Kirk, the guard who was previously responsible for driving Bella to school and her overall protection when I wasn’t with her, was back in LA.
Before dinner, I’d told Luck to make him disappear.With nothing more than a nod from my best friend, I knew it would be taken care of.Not giving the bastard a second thought, I kept my smile in place as the five of us enjoyed dinner and then walked around the mall attached to one of the nearby hotels.
Bella didn’t want anything.She barely glanced in the windows of some of the stores, too focused on seeing how high she could swing Brooke’s or my arms as we held her hand during our walk.
Back in the suite, Bella ran off to shower after giving me a detailed list of all the ice cream flavors and toppings she wanted for our sundae party.Brooke hid a grin as I ordered everything from room service, a giggle escaping her when I finally hung up.
I grabbed her by the ass and lifted her onto the kitchen island.“Fuck, I missed that sound.Been almost twenty-hour hours since I last heard it.”I pressed my nose to her throat.“Give it to me again, kitten.”
“Paxton.”She spread her legs wider for me so I could get closer.“Don’t be mad, but I have to confess something to you, and it might—”
My fingers bit into her hips.“You leaving me?”
Swallowing hard, she shook her head.“No.I don’t think I can now.I…”
“If you aren’t leaving me, then nothing you confess will upset me,” I told her solemnly.
Sucking her bottom lip between her teeth, she looked up at me through her lashes.“I still have to tell you.”
“Then say what you need to, baby.”
Inhaling deeply, she blew it out and said in a rush, “Last night, I thought you were in love with Riah, and it nearly killed me.I made assumptions and didn’t talk to you about it.It hurt because I thought if you loved her, then you must have been lying when you said you loved me.It was stupid and childish.I’m sorry.”
Tipping her chin up, I gave her a moment to catch her breath, absorbing everything she had just spilled out like word vomit.“Feel better for getting that off your chest?”
After a pause, she nodded.
“You still think I don’t love you?”She dropped her lashes, not answering me.“Kitten, please.”
Blinking up at me, she lifted one shoulder.“I want you to love me,” she admitted in a voice so quiet I had to strain to hear her, even as close as we were.“I want it so badly.But I’m scared.”
“Loving you is like breathing for me.”Taking one of her hands, I pressed it to the center of my chest.“It’s involuntary.Something I do without thinking.But I need it to survive.”
Her chin trembled.Lowering my head, I kissed the corner of her mouth.“You’re scared, and I get why.I wish I could fix all the things that broke along the way that made you distrust anything good in your life.But all I can do is keep loving you and showing you I’m not going anywhere.”
“That might take a while.I have a lot of baggage.”
Still keeping her hand pressed to my chest, I pressed my free hand over her rapidly beating heart.“Is this mine?”
Biting her lip, she gave me a single nod.
“Say it, kitten,” I commanded.
“It’s yours,” she whispered.
My heart felt like it was going to explode from how happy her words made me.It was more than I could have ever hoped for.Having this beautiful woman love me was more than I deserved.But fuck if I wouldn’t grab on to her and never let go.“Then nothing else matters.I’ll spend every day for the rest of our lives proving you can trust me.
ChapterThirty-Four
Brooke
Sometime duringReturnof the Jedi, I fell asleep.With Bella cuddled into one side of me and Paxton on the other, playing with my hair, I felt too content to fight the heaviness of my lids.
Feeling cool sheets under me and the hot, hard body pressing up against me had me awake in a flash.Turning over, I blinked up at Paxton.We were in the bedroom we were supposed to share Saturday night.All the lights in the room were off, but the curtains were open, letting the glow of the city act as a night-light.