Page 51 of No Dirty Secrets

Joel, looking like he hasn’t slept in a month, is standing in the middle of the living room with a gun in his hand—pointed directly at me.

His normally brown eyes are bright green, and he even has his hair cut exactly like Cole’s with the military fade on the side. Joel looks like Cole. Or a very poor imitation or Cole, like a bad cartoon.

“What are you doing here?” I do my best to speak to Joel and not look at the gun. Maybe if I ignore it, he’ll forget that he is holding it.

Ignoring the fact that he’s dressed like Cole and trying tobehim is hard, too.

Okay, that’s ridiculous, but I don’t know what else to do.

“You told me you loved me. Just like you used to.” Joel smiles, but there’s something weird about it. Hazy, like he’s in the middle of a dream and I just happen to be there with him during it. “I’m here to take you home, Cassie.”

Laurence shifts on the couch behind me, grunting lightly, and I cough to try and cover it. I think it worked, too, until Joel’s eyes flash as he tries to figure out what’s happening behind me.

“What was that?” He tilts to the side, trying to see around my body, but I move with him so that I am the only thing in his line of sight.

“My blanket.” I lie better than I’ve ever lied in my entire life.

I have to.

I pray that Laurence will stay asleep.

That he won’t make another peep.

That he’ll stay safe.

There is no telling what Joel will do.

I have to protect him, no matter what.

Even as I think about it, I cover my stomach protectively, trying my best to minimize his target… my body.

The lie works, at least a little. Joel’s eyes find mine again and he has a wild look in them.

“I love you, Cassie.” Every word is emphasized. Like he’s waited a lifetime to tell me, and he expects me to answer him with the same words.

Words I’ll never say because I’m not Cassie. And I don’t love him.

My throat is on fire, and I try not to scream at the realization that he’s going to hurt me. He isn’t seeing me at all. He’s seeing Cassie, and it’s clear that he is going to do anything to make me her.

Joel is broken.

His grief changed him into something… lost.

Something different and dangerous andwrong.

I understand better than anyone else what he’s going through, but he’s completely lost it.

“I gave you everything.” He shifts suddenly. Anger and vitriol filling his voice. “And you threw it back in my face. You had to pay. You had to hurt like you hurt me. But I didn’t mean to kill you.”

Ice pours through my veins, but I don’t say a word.

I don’t move an inch.

He’s not talking to me.

He’s talking to Cassie’s ghost.

To Cassie.

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