Page 64 of Huge Games

"I'll come with you," Celine whispers. Never letting go of my hand. It's her presence that propels me forward.

In the den, Lina is relaxing on my family couch like it's the most normal thing in the world. Her arms are draped across the back, her legs are crossed, and her pointed shoe bounces up and down as she swings her leg. She always was an impatient person, so finding that I was not home when she arrived must have pissed her off. Her eyes brighten when she sees me, but her expression shifts into something darker when she sees Celine and follows my arm down until she notices our hands are linked.

"What are you doing here?" She doesn't deserve any pleasantries. She doesn't deserve to feel comfortable on my home ground when she made my life so difficult on hers.

"I'm here to see you, Travis."

Celine shifts closer to me until her shoulder is pressed against my upper arm. She squeezes my hand just enough to let me feel her reassurance. "Why?"

"This isn't the greeting I thought I'd receive after flying so far to see you."

"You shouldn't have bothered." I turn to where Mom's stirring the coffee so vigorously it sounds as though she will wear a hole in the mug.

Lina rests her hand on her belly and smiles in a way that doesn't meet her eyes. Smile is too nice a word for it. Smirk more accurately reflects the situation. I stare at her as my brain glitches. Why the fuck is she in my house? How the fuck did she find me?

"I have good news," she gushes, her eyes lifting from Celine's hand in mine to my face. "I'm pregnant."

The words penetrate my skull but don't truly register for a few seconds. Celine flinches like she's been slapped but still doesn't let go of my hand. It's as though she wants to tell them that she's with me no matter what. Except she can't be with me through this.

"Pregnant?" The word comes out through a throat that sounds strangulated. I stare at Lina with an expression that can only be described as horrified.

"Yes." Her hand caresses her belly again. "I couldn't believe it either, but the pregnancy tests, it's true."

I want to scream at her that I always wore condoms, but that wouldn't matter, would it? Condoms can fail. It says on the box that they’re only ninety-eight percent effective.

"It's not mine." I bark. It can't be mine. I won't believe it.

Mom chooses that moment to return with a tray of coffee and blueberry muffins. She fumbles with the tray, and it drops to the table, sloshing some of the liquid. "Oh…look what I've done." She bustles back to the kitchen, and Lina and I exist in a weird stare-off.

"Of course, it's yours," she says.

"You cheated on me. It must be his."

"He had a vasectomy, and we used condoms, so no. It can't be his." She shrugs like the cheating was nothing and describes another man's sexual function as though it's something normal to do.

My heart skips in my chest.Da-dum, da-dum, da-dum, da-dum.My stomach lurches, and I have to swallow the bile that threatens to rise. This can't be happening. I got away. I saw what this woman was like, and I left, and now she's trying to pull me back in.

My legs feel like they might go out from under me. The only thing keeping me standing, keeping me functioning, is Celine's presence. I don't want her to see me weak. I don't want her to witness me lose my cool or, worse, see how fucking broken this situation is making me.

"I want a paternity test," I say.

Lina's spine stiffens, and she smooths her long chestnut hair. Her tongue slicks over her teeth, pushing out her reddened lips. Mom returns with a cloth and the grayest pallor to her face. Upstairs, Gabriella laughs loudly, in another world where people aren't being trapped by their psycho ex-girlfriends into a lifetime of misery.

Because that's what this will be. If the baby is mine, my life is ruined. She'll use it to embed her nails into me permanently. She'll control the child to control me. I'll have to live in Germany because there is no way I'll leave a child of mine to be raised solely by a woman like this. My dad chose another woman over his family and ended up dead before he ever confessed his secret. There is no way I'd put a child of mine through what I went through. They'll know I love them and am prepared to sacrifice my life for them.

"Of course." She says it like she's confident that nothing will come of it. She says it as though she knows for sure that I'm the father.

I want to sit down. I need her to leave so I can get my head together.

Mom hovers like she doesn't know what to do. This woman is a guest, and Mom is hospitable to a fault, but this woman is obviously not my friend. Mom knows I wouldn't be standing across the room as stiff as a plank of wood if this woman was someone I care about.

Celine's hand is warm in mine, and her closeness makes me want to rewind time to the moments when we were singing in the car, laughing, and joking, where happiness felt like a thing that was possible. I could dwell in that moment forever if I knew that what came next was this.

A noose around my neck.

Dreading that my first child might be on its way into the world because its mother would be the worst kind of person, capable of ruining its life like she ruined mine.

"But the test will have to wait until it's born because there are risks." Her tone is smooth and confident.

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