Page 62 of Huge Games

Sex is a place where I can hide from my ghosts and from my hopes, but for how long.

20

TRAVIS

After we make sure Elias is okay, forcing him to drink two glasses of water and eat two slices of bread, Dornan decides to walk home for the fresh air, and I drive Celine back to her dorm.

I say goodbye and yawn halfway through, and she insists that I sleep at hers rather than drive home. It's sweet that she's worried for my safety and even sweeter that she wants me to snuggle up in her bed and fall asleep.

I lay awake with her in my arms, wondering what the hell I'm doing when I made so many mistakes the last time I got into asituationship. I touch her face, marveling at the red of her eyelashes that cast pretty arcs of shadow over her cheekbones. Her lips are pouty when she sleeps.

Tonight was good for many reasons.

Hearing Celine and Dornan's concern when I pointed out that Elias had left dispelled some of my concerns about this complicated situation. The sex is epic, not only when it's me and Celine but when the others are involved, too. We laugh a lot together like I used to with my best mates.

I'm still friends with Dalton, Kain, and Blake, but since they fell in love with my sister, they have less time for me. I'm happy for them, but it's an adjustment.

If I was a sensible man, I'd walk away from this four-way confusion.

What good can come from catching feelings for a woman who quite obviously has feelings for other men? They might be willing to share her while we play games, but how long until they want her for themselves? And what kind of friendship could I develop with two men who've shared a woman with me? This would make the world's weirdest friendship origin story.

The pipework in the dorms makes strange clunking and gurgling noises. Someone, somewhere in the building, is showering or flushing a toilet. My feet hang off the end of Celine's bed, and I feel like Daddy Bear in Baby Bear's bed, an imposter in a life not meant for me.

I'm supposed to be past this.

I'm supposed to have my shit together, but I obviously don't.

Allowing myself to get drawn into this situation is another sign that the boundaries I try to set aren't firm enough.

I'm in danger of digging another hole of misery for myself.

I resist waking Celine and sinking into her sweet body again. Somehow, I've gotten used to the fact that Elias and Dornan need to be around for that. Eventually, I drift off to sleep.

In the morning, Celine wakes me with a soft kiss on my lips and scrambles from beneath the comforter to use the bathroom. The shower starts up and Celine hums as I turn over in bed and breathe in her scent. When she emerges, she's freshly scrubbed, with pink cheeks and damp tendrils curling around her face.

She dresses in front of me, pulling on a sports bra and tight leggings. I have to wait a few minutes, channeling images of my ex-boss, who had a mustache and body odor, before I can get out of bed without morning wood.

I don't shower because I don't have any clean things with me, but I do rinse my mouth out with mouthwash and quickly scrub my face with one of Celine's face products.

My hair is messy, but wet hands and finger combing do the trick.

When I emerge from the bathroom, I only have to pull on my jeans and shirt. Celine watches me dress with what can only be described as a wicked smile on her face.

"Seriously," she says. "Your body is just…" she makes a gesture with her hand and a sound with her mouth, "...chefs kiss."

I cock a brow and run my hand over my beard. It needs a trim, but I'll have to deal with that later.

"It's all yours, baby."

"Seriously."

Celine slowly sways across the room and lets her fingers trail down the center of my chest, her eyes opening wider with each ab she passes over. "Insane," she mutters.

I grab her wrist and bring her hand to my lips, kissing her knuckles softly; then I pull out the center of her gym bra, getting a good look at her perfect cleavage. "Now, that's insane."

She laughs and swats me away. "Keep doing that, and we'll get absolutely nowhere today."

"That sounds like an awesome plan." I pull her top again, this time pushing my finger between her tits. She squeals and jumps back, but not before I snag her wrist and twist her arms behind her back, holding them in one of my hands at the base of her spine. I loom over her shoulder, pressing my mouth close to her ear. "If I want totouch you, Celine, I will."

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