Page 8 of Just Friends

Alex takes a sip from the water the waitress brought when we sat down and smiles contentedly at me, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “How do you think the day went?”

I can’t help my own grin, thinking of the wedding we just left. My brother, Camden, and Alex’s sister, Ellie. A couple who couldn’t have deserved this beautiful day more.

“It was perfect,” I answer, my voice ringing out dreamily.

“It really was.”

“Oh,” I exclaim, reaching for my purse on the booth seat next to me. “I almost forgot.” I rummage around until my fingers fasten on a cellophane baggie, and I plop it on the counter. “Chocolate penises.”

“My favorite,” Alex says sardonically.

“Courtesy of Ethel,” I tell him, referring to Ellie’s elderly friend and tenant at the apartment complex she manages. She has a small business making phallic-shaped candies and desserts and has provided some for every wedding event we’ve had over the past few months. The bridal shower was ablast.

“Only the best,” Alex agrees, opening the bag and pulling out one of the candies.

I get one for myself too, letting the dark chocolate melt on my tongue. “She made them for the bridesmaids.”

Alex digs in his pants pocket for his phone. Sliding it open, he shows me what’s on the screen. “I got some photos of today.”

I take his phone, swiping through all the candid shots he got from the groomsmen’s room and from the reception. It’s a blur of colors, since all the groomsmen and bridesmaids were in varying warm, bright colors of tuxedos and dresses. There are a few photos of me dancing wildly with the hem of my dress tied up around my knees. There’s another of Cam’s best man and my longtime friend, Wes. He’s cheering at something, and beside him, Cam is looking like he’s barely containing an eye roll.

“They’re nothing like Cam could have gotten,” he says, sounding almost abashed.

“No,” I say faintly. They’re nothing like what my brother, the professional photographer, would have taken. “But they’re perfect.”

A smile tugs the corner of my lips when I get to the selfie we took earlier in the day. My curls hadn’t fallen out yet, and Alex’s tie was still around his neck. His arm is wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me into the crook of his neck.

I send it to myself before swiping over to the next photo. It’s one of Cam and Ellie during their first dance, eyes only for each other. They were like that all day, and although I’m endlessly happy for them, I can’t help the tug of sadness deep in my chest, that pull of longing reminding me just how long it’s been since someone looked atmelike that.

When I look up, Alex’s gaze is fixed on me. “Watching them almost made me kind of sad,” he says, as if reading my mind. I would think he was saying it just to make me feel better, but I see the way his eyebrows and lips draw down slightly, a look I so rarely see on his carefree face.

“Me too,” I agree quietly, knowing he understands exactly what I’m thinking and feeling. It’s always been like that, from the very beginning. It’s how we formed a friendship so seamlessly, even though we were thousands of miles apart. How it felt like a tether pulling me here when my life crumbled around me last year.

Alex stares at me for another moment, as if searching for something in my face. His eyes are the exact color of freshly tilled soil, with little flecks of green, like plants pushing up from the earth after a long winter.

After a long minute, he seems to find what he’s looking for and opens his mouth, words hovering on the tip of his tongue.

“Two cheeseburgers,” the waitress says, returning with a tray of food. She puts Alex’s plates down in front of him with a lingering smile and even a few light touches on his arm before sliding mine across the table unceremoniously.

For a few minutes, we tear into our food, not speaking. It’s not until Alex has finished both of his burgers and pushed his fries in my direction that he talks again.

I look at the fries, one eyebrow raised.

“You never order your own and always want some of mine.”

He’s right, I guess, so I gingerly pluck one of the fries from the top and pop it into my mouth.

As we work through the mound of fries on the plate, a firm sense of resolution settles in my gut. Today, watching Cam and Ellie, cemented something in my mind for me.

“What’s that look for?” Alex asks, motioning to his own eyebrows that he’s pinched together, imitating what mine must look like.

Letting out a deep breath, I say, “I want to go on a date.”

Alex chokes on his fries and lets out a strangled wheeze, pounding his hand on his chest. I shove his drink in his direction and he takes large gulps, washing down the lodged food. Crimson creeps up his throat beneath the strong fingers he has pressed there.

“What did you say?” he finally asks, blinking back tears.

My hand closes around his water glass, lifting it toward his face once again. “Are you okay? Drink some more water.”

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