Page 32 of Screwing With The Scrooge

We stare at each other, the lights casting yellow, green, and red shadows across our faces. There’s so much that I want to say to him, so much I want to ask, but I’m done putting in all of the work here. Xavier messed up. He needs to be the one to fix it without any help or nudging from me. It’s time for him to fight for me.

“Olive, I’m so sorry,” he says, stepping towards me.

“For what?” I ask, taking a small step back.

He looks wounded at my movement but I don’t let that sway me.

“For pushing you away. It was a mistake.”

I’m silent, and he swallows hard, swaying towards me, but he stops himself before he takes another step.

“My dad came to see me yesterday.”

“That’s good, right? I mean, you said that you weren’t close.”

“We aren’t. He stopped being my dad when my mom died. Seeing him is always such a mind fuck for me though,” he admits and he looks so vulnerable.

“Seeing him just brought back everything that he said to me when my mom died. That it was my fault. That I was cursed and would hurt everyone that loved me.”

“He’s wrong.”

“I know… or I’m trying to know that. I keep thinking that I’m okay and then something happens and I’m that scared kid again, who lost both his parents. I let him get to me yesterday and I should have just talked to you or Townes, but I didn’t. I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for hurting you, for breaking both of our hearts.”

I swallow thickly, tears starting to well in my eyes.

“I talked to Townes this morning. He chewed me out and suggested that I talk to someone. I’m going to go to the VA with him once they are open again after the holidays. I’m going to work on myself, on being a man who is worthy of you.”

“You’ve always been worthy of me,” I choke out, and he smiles sadly.

“Then on being the best version of myself for you. So that I never hurt you again.”

He takes a step towards me, and this time, I don’t move away.

“What about that other thing?” I ask, pointing over my shoulder to where he’s written that he loves me.

“I’m an idiot?” He asks, and I shake my head.

His eyes scan the lights, and I can see the moment that he realizes what I’m talking about.

“Oh… that.”

He takes another step towards me, closing the distance between us, and I look up into his dark eyes.

“I love you, Olive. I have for a while, but I was too scared to admit it, even to myself. I’m done with being scared or holding myself back. I never stood a chance with you. I was always going to fall hopelessly in love with you.”

The tears start to spill onto my cheeks now and Xavier looks devastated as he reaches to wipe them away.

“I’m sorry, please forgive me; I swear that I’ll never hurt you again,” he rambles as he brushes away more tears.

“Please, Olive,” he begs. “I need you.”

My throat is tight with tears, so instead of saying anything, I just lean up onto my tiptoes and press my lips to his.

He’s frozen beneath me and I lean against him more, urging him to kiss me back. He moves then, his hands wrapping around my hips and pulling me into his chest more. His mouth moves against mine, licking along the seam of my lips until I open for him.

He tastes like cold, like snow, and I smile softly against his mouth.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers against my lips and I shake my head.

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