Page 88 of Second First Kiss

Kat rose to stand and the older woman waved her off. “I can see myself out.”

Kat released a deep breath when the front door shut with a click. She walked to the counter where her shoulders sank in on themselves. Without a word, he exited the pantry and came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her middle, pulling her back into him.

“How much did you hear?” she asked after a moment of silence.

“Enough.”

“I’m sorry I locked you in the pantry. I just freaked out. God, I am so screwing this up.”

“No, you aren’t. That woman is setting you up to fail. It’s like she already had her mind made up before stepping in here.”

“She was the social worker who worked my parents’ case when I was young. She left me in the home with my mom. Three months later, my mom ran off with some guy from church and my dad was in a rage. The first time I saw Ms. Woods with regard to this whole Tessa thing she told me it was a mistake she’ll never make again.”

“Well I’m going to do some digging into her background to see what I can find.”

She spun around in his arms. “No! I don’t want you to do something that could get you fired. And I don’t want you to do something that could ruin my case.”

“I’d never do anything to ruin your case.”

23

“You have to come clean,” Gemma said through the phone’s screen, and Kat could see the seriousness in her face. “With Tessa and with Nolan.”

Kat looked out the window at the light spring drizzle painting the driveway with tiny specks of water. It was a gloomy day that matched the dark cloud hanging over her life.

“They will kill me,” Kat said, but she knew Gemma was telling it like it was. That was why she’d confessed to her friend about talking to R. J.’s exes, because Gemma always went straight to the heart of things. And that was the kind advice Kat needed right now.

Kat had done the deed and now it was confession time. She’d had lunch with R. J.’s third ex and it was the same story. But she hadn’t signed an NDA, hadn’t taken the money, and was willing to sing—like Adele in Madison Square Garden.

She’d confirmed everything Kat believed about that bag of dicks. And more.

“At first, but then it will bring you closer, I promise. Last night, when Tessa slept over, I got the feeling that all she wants is your honesty. After all the people in her world have lied to her and let her down, she just wants to know that you aren’t like the rest.”

Kat stared right into the screen with a stern face. “I’m not.”

Gemma’s expression softened. “I know, but she doesn’t. And she won’t until you show her again and again. She reminds me of another stubborn, hard to break, hard to trust Rhodes.”

If only that were still true. Because someone had broken through her walls. He’d done a spectacular B&E, sneaking past all her defenses, accessing the darkest and softest parts of her soul. And, more concerning, her heart. He owned it hook, line, and sinker—not that she would ever tell him and give him that kind of power over her. She was leaving after all, headed back to MIT, giving her a little over a year to screw this up. And even if she managed to not screw things up, there was no way they’d survive long distance.

Then again, he’d been pretty convincing last night. But he didn’t know just what he was stepping into. Dating her was difficult. He was so inflexible when it came to right and wrong, and Kat tended to flex just to prove that she could. Yet there was still a part of her that wanted to try.

He’d said he’d never hurt her, all she had to do was trust in that. It would be hard, but could she at least give it a try? Was he worth the risk?

Her heart said Yes. Her brain said Get out while you still can.

But could she? Still get out? Or was she already in too deep? She guessed the next few hours would prove that, now wouldn’t they. How he reacted to the truth of what she’d done would determine if they had a future or if, once again, her hot-headedness was too much to handle. She wouldn’t blame him if he ran. What guy would stick around after learning she’d illegally hacked into the sheriff’s department? Especially a man who lived his life by the letter of the law, like Nolan?

She looked at Gemma. “What if I tell Tess but skip the whole Nolan part?”

“What was the point of doing everything you did? Sneaking around behind everyone’s back to meet with these women if not to share the information you got?”

“This is where doing the right thing can lead to serious repercussions, huh?”

“Yup. But it was the right thing to do, and so is confessing,” Gemma said. “It’s like when my marriage was falling apart. I knew David would never leave me and letting him go was the right thing to do even though it would destroy what was left of my heart. But I still let him go.”

“And your heart?” Kat asked, because her friend rarely, if ever, brought up that time in her life.

“It’s still shattered, but I think it would have been anyway, even if he was still with me. It just would have added guilt and sadness to the package knowing he didn’t want to be in the marriage anymore and that being around me reminded him of Sydney. My grief was so strong after losing her, that it still takes me under some days. Releasing him from that heaviness was the right thing to do, but the repercussions for me are still paralyzing sometimes.”

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