Page 21 of Second First Kiss

Gemma was dressed in wide-legged jeans, a flowy yellow shirt, and had paint stuck under her nails. The perfect uniform for an award-winning mural artist on a girls’ night out. Their third musketeer, Milly, and dependable GNO partner was suspiciously MIA. Not an uncommon occurrence these days.

Zoe’s younger sister, Milly, who had become one of Kat’s best friends and one of the few people Kat could rely on for just about anything, had arrived thirty minutes ago, ordered a s’more-tini—one of the bar’s signature drinks—then just so happened to need the restroom the moment her fiancé, Jax, walked into the bar. They’d both been missing ever since.

Kat was supposed to be a part of said GNO but couldn’t pass the chance to pick up an extra shift, especially since she could pull in nearly a grand in tips. She’d made sure Tessa had supervision by dropping her off at her friend’s house, after reconfirming from the mom that the girls were to be indoors all night, then headed straight to work.

“And see things we can’t unsee?” Kat asked. “I was the last search party, and I still can’t bleach those images from my retinas.”

That was the last time Kat would ever enter the back office without knocking. There were just some secrets friends shouldn’t share.

Gemma’s face softened. “I heard what happened the other night. You want to talk about it?”

Not really. Kat had been thinking about it nonstop. Thinking of all the ways that night could have gone differently. But it hadn’t, and Kat was, if anything, a realist. She was in real trouble.

“I think I’m going to lose her,” Kat admitted. “It’s like no matter how hard I try, I keep coming up short and Tessa’s going to be the one to pay the price.”

Gemma pushed her martini glass to the side and reached across to take Kat’s hand. “That night was on Tessa. She made a choice, and she has to deal with the fallout.”

“Even if that means I lose custody?”

She wanted to blame it on Nolan, but he’d come through for her in the end. Or had he? He’d just happened upon them; he hadn’t come looking for them to right a wrong. In a way it reminded her of her dad. He’d cause all kinds of problems, then come home with some kind of big gift or grand gesture and act as if he hadn’t caused the problem to begin with.

Kat had fallen for it hook, line, and sinker. Every time. Well, she wasn’t going to fall for it again. For Nolan, his job would always come first, this she knew all too well. And she wasn’t going to let one act of kindness erase what he’d done at the trailhead. He had jeopardized everything because of a stupid rule.

“That is not going to happen. Any judge in their right mind will see how much you love her.” Gemma rested her hand on Kat’s. “I’m sorry. I know how much stress you’re already under. But remember, none of this is on you. Tessa made a stupid decision that all teenagers make. And this would have happened regardless of who she was staying with, you or Abe.”

Kat took a deep breath. She’d never been one to give into tears—had learned early on just how pointless they were—but damn if she wasn’t fighting some back right then. “Nolan didn’t even care about my situation.”

“He was doing his job,” Gemma whispered.

“But why is it that people doing their job always exceed me trying to do mine? Every time I try to get ahead, some man stands in the way of my dream. I’m sick of it.”

Gemma wasn’t just talking about the loss of her dream of a family, she was talking about the pain that followed. She knew deep loss. Understood the long-term ramifications. Not only had Gemma lost her baby, Sydney, two years ago to a rare birth defect, but her husband had been unable to deal with Gemma’s grief and bailed. Then last year they’d all lost their fourth ride or die, Milly’s sister, Zoe, to breast cancer. It had been the event that cemented their sisterhood—turned them from friends to family.

“Do you want me to talk with Tessa?” Gemma asked, and Kat seriously considered it. Like Gemma, Tessa was a creative. She was a photographer who was hoping to get into UCLA on a scholarship. Even though she and Gemma had little else in common, that artistic side created a bond. Plus, Gemma had been in their lives since Tessa was a baby.

“I’m willing to try anything,” she said.

“Even if it means sending over Ranger Tight-ass to scare her?” Milly said, sliding onto the barstool and taking a sip of her drink like she’d hadn’t disappeared thirty minutes ago.

“You got a little something right here,” Kat said and tapped her lips.

Milly wiped at her own lips. “Did I get it?”

“No.” Kat reached across and stopped inches from her friend’s mouth. “Oh, my bad. It’s residual O face.”

“You’re right,” Gemma added. “I was so blinded by that thing I nearly missed it.”

Milly held up her hand and wiggled her ring finger, flashing her new four-karat accessory. With her long, curly hair and girl-next-door face, she looked like a blond Minnie Driver.

“Watch out.” Gemma shielded her face. “You might knock someone out with that rock.”

A few months ago, on the same night Kat had kissed Nolan, Milly had slept with Jaxon because of her sister’s dying dare. Only she’d mistakenly slept with the wrong twin, then somehow convinced Jaxon to go along with this farce that they were dating. But that fake relationship became real for them both and now her friend was wearing a dopey grin twenty-four seven.

Kat was happy for her. She really was. Milly deserved some happy in her world after caring for her sister the last year of her life. Being Zoe’s home-care companion had taken everything Milly had. Then, just when things were at their bleakest, Jax appeared and filled up her passion cup again. But there was a small piece of Kat that envied her. Envied the ability to open one’s heart and take a chance on love.

Something that would never happen for Kat. She wasn’t the kind of woman men saw long-term in. She was a college dropout with a checkered past, a troublesome teenaged sister, and enough debt to make the US deficit look like monopoly money. And according to her ex’s mom, her harsh edges made her too complicated and complex to fight for.

Which was why she’d become the queen of one-night stands. She purposefully chose men who were emotionally unavailable and just looking for some fun. Kat might not trust men, but she loved men. Alpha men with a touch of bad boy. There was the way they smelled, the way they walked like the world was theirs to conquer, and the way they talked dirty in bed. She especially liked the last part.

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