Chapter Twenty two

Danielle

“How many times do I have to do this?” I asked, sitting on the toilet. I peed on my fourth pregnancy test stick, and I felt sick to my stomach about what the results had been so far.

“I don’t know, Dani,” Lisa said from the bedroom. “I feel like you’ve passed the point where it might be a false positive.”

I groaned. “That’s not what I want to hear,” I wailed.

Lisa didn’t respond to that. I replaced the cap on the pregnancy test and put it on the counter before washing my hands. This wasn’t going well at all.

After Monica had mentioned morning sickness, I had gotten a terribly hollow feeling in my stomach. Earlier that morning, I had noticed my period was later than usual. A lot later.

I had hoped it was only stress-related or an irregular period. Even though I had never been irregular in my life, I had been sexually active recently, and what Monica said made the most sense. I hadn’t wanted it to be that straightforward.

So, I had spent the day throwing up and wondering what the hell was happening to me. Finally, I decided to take a pregnancy test. If it came out negative, I wouldn’t be so stressed anymore. I had bought a test and taken it. Everyone at home had been out–my mom at the office and my dad at the golf course or something.

When it had come out positive, I had thrown up again, as if my body had tried to tell me, “I told you so.” I had gone to the pharmacy and picked up three more tests before heading to Lisa’s place. I hadn’t forgotten to text my dad that I was going there. I didn’t need him calling around to find me again. I had enough stress in my life as it was.

“What am I going to do?” I asked, sitting next to Lisa on the bed while we waited for the fourth test to do its magic. I stared at the three tests on the bed that all gave me a big fat positive and hoped to God the last one would tell me something else. I needed it to give me a shred of hope to cling onto.

“I think you need to accept it for what it is,” Lisa said. “You can only take so many tests. You should think about what you want to do about it. Like if you want to get rid of it or keep it or give it up, you know?”

My head swam. These were decisions I wasn’t ready to make. I hadn’t expected to have to think about these things at this stage in my life.

“Time’s up,” Lisa said, looking at her watch.

I sighed and walked back to the bathroom. I was sure of what the result would be. There wasn’t much chance of it being anything else than positive. But when I looked at the pregnancy test and saw the proof that it was positive, a feeling of dread settled in my stomach, even though I had expected it.

“Positive,” I said, coming out of the bathroom and showing Lisa. I felt like I wanted to cry.

“You’re sure it’s Rodney’s baby?” Lisa asked.

I nodded somberly. “I haven’t slept with anyone else in the past six months. There’s no way it can’t be his. God, things are so bad between us right now.” I covered my face with my hands and took a shaky breath.

“Are you going to tell him?” Lisa asked.

I scrubbed my hands down my face. “I don’t know,” I admitted. “I have no idea what to do. This is a big mess.”

Lisa nodded, unable to give me any friendly advice that would make me feel better. She had to admit that things looked bleak for me.

My phone rang in the bag I had packed for the night, and I squeezed my eyes shut.

“Want to bet that’s Rodney?”

Lisa didn’t respond. I found my phone in my bag. I’d been right. Rodney’s name flashed on the caller ID. No doubt, he wanted to know if I could make it to the office tomorrow. I doubted he wanted to know anything else. He had made it clear our working relationship was all that would exist between us.

“Yeah?” I answered.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

I thought about the four positive pregnancy tests. “I’ll live,” I said.

“Where are you?”

I hesitated. Why did it matter where I was? “I’m at Lisa’s place,” I answered carefully. I glanced up at Lisa. She came closer, leaning in so she could hear the conversation.

“Can I come see you?” Rodney asked. “I’d like to talk to you.”