Page 26 of Regaining Integrity

I get to Grizzly’s parking lot just as my breath forms in front of me. The streetlights and the ones lining the building brighten the parking lot. Most of the cars from earlier are gone while a few people are still inside. Likely the cleaning crew Holt’s dad has hired for years now. Cleaning up after others, especially drunks and partygoers, is a job I could never do.

Finding Angie’s truck, I get in, crushing my longer legs behind the wheel because I’m not moving the seat to drive, and head off back toward her apartment.

I get back just as the first rays of sunlight start to crest the eastern sky. I let myself back into her place and set her keys on her kitchen island before walking back to her bedroom door to peek in on her.

The sun has risen enough to cast a golden hue into her bedroom and glow over her exposed skin, seeing as she has kicked off some of the covers since I got up.

She is something else. Angie is beautiful and doesn’t put up with my shit; two things I only ever thought my mom, Valerie, and Patience would ever be able to put up with. I don’t know how long I watch her as I stand in the doorway like a complete freak, but I decide to leave and come back with a plan to really win this woman over, to give serious dating a try, and to see where it could lead me.

Chapter Fourteen

Angelica

Even on a Sunday, my alarm is set so I get up and accomplish something. To be fair, I was distracted last night, considering what time I got in. Thankfully, the volume is low as Carrie Underwood sings me to a wakeful state.

Stretching and giving one last good long yawn, I pat my hand blindly to the side of the bed Chase was occupying.

“What the …?” When I sit up in my empty bed, my eyes dart around the room. There’s no sign of him anywhere. Quickly, I shut off my alarm and remain still to listen for him.

Could he be in the other room? Or did he leave?

Pushing some of my wayward hair behind my ear, I strain to hear anything. Only my steady breathing fills my ears. Rolling back up to a sitting position, I draw my legs up and wrap my arms around them.

I should have known better.

I can’t believe I allowed myself to get into this situation. I’m alone and naked in my bed that smells of sweat, sex, andhim. The embrace of my legs tightens as I will myself not to cry. I was used last night, plain and simple.

What did you expect?

I slept with Chase Thorne last night, and it was everything I thought and so much more. He didn’t just get himself off and leave me hanging; he made sure I got my release before he finished and then stayed.

But he didn’t help look after you when he was done.

Releasing myself, I quickly slap my cheeks to keep the tears from building up and falling.

But he stayed.

At least I have that. Even though he obviously didn’t stay the entire night, he was here long enough for me to fall asleep in his arms and—

My eyes widen when a faint memory from last night comes flashing before my eyes.

I gave him a blow job.

Horror consumes me. I had him in my mouth, taking him all the way in, and let him come down my throat. Not that I’m a virgin when it comes to giving head, but who knows where he’s been?

This feeling swarming inside me now is why I stayed away from him. But last night, I lost myself in the feeling of his hands on me as the liquor coursed through my body, muddling my mind, and then his kiss.

I force out a breath. It cools instantly and tickles against my bare knees.

“This is what you get, Angie.” Shaking my head, I wrap my blankets around me. I should get up and throw all these sheets into the washer to get rid of the evidence of last night and wash his scent away.

But I don’t.

Instead, I pull them up and take a deep inhale of the scents dusting the sheets he was under. Giving in for that one small second has me disgusted with myself all over again.

Shoving them away, I fall back onto the pillow I know doesn’t have his scent and finally lose my battle with my emotions. Tears slowly build, burning my eyes and stream down my face to gather on the fabric under me.

This is so much worse than the last time I was used by him. And that’s all because I actually let him in my pants … dress.

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