Page 22 of Rhapsody of Pain

I hope she’s not talking about what it sounds like she’s talking about.

“Mom’s last boyfriend—at least, the last one I ever had to deal with—decided he’d supplement the family funds by pimping me out. I decided then and there that I was done. I was done with his bullshit and done with her complacency. So I took to the streets and never looked back.”

On instinct, I reach for her. “Bam. I am so sorry.”

She waves my concern away with a casual flick of her hand. “Ah, it’s all in the past. Where I keep it locked away, until tiny sliverspeek out and make me fuck up and betray my friends.” She steals a peek at my face. “I owe Demyen my life. Literally. He didn’t just take me off the streets; he put me through college, helped me establish my career, and most of all, he made me face my demons until I became the scariest motherfucker in the dark.”

I stifle a small laugh. That does sound kind of like Demyen.

Now, she’s the one reaching across the space between us. Bambi gently pats my hand. “That’s what you need to do, Clara: face your demons. Betheirworst nightmare. Don’t let them have a say in how you live your life.”

I wish it was that easy. I really do. But just the thought of having to stand on my own against the horrors the men of my life have created… It’s exhausting. I’m beyond exhausted.

Tears sting my eyes. “I don’t know if I can,” comes out in a choked breath.

“Start small. Ground yourself where you’re the safest.” She offers a small smile. “You’re safe here. You can ground yourself here.”

“I mean…” I sniff and hug my knees to my chest. “I don’t know about that. Demyen?—”

“—is head over heels for you,” she interjects.

What?

She nods at my surprise. “It’s true. I’ve never seen him like this, and I’ve known him for freaking ever. He’s had one-night stands and drunken run-ins, sure. But this? With you? This is new. This is big.”

I blush and hide my face behind my arms. “This is just convenience.”

Her brow practically hits her hairline. “You and I both know there’s literally nothing ‘convenient’ about parenthood. And yet, despite his inner protests, that little girl has him wrapped around her finger. Did he tell you about her parent-teacher conferences?”

“No. I mean, he told me she’s doing well in school…”

He made it sound like general reports. I figured someone like Pavel or Bambi was giving him the insights.

But she shakes her head with a shit-eating grin. “Demyen’s been personally meeting with her instructors on a weekly basis. Attended the big school conference fair just last week. In person. Byhimself.” She shrugs and corrects herself. “Well, okay, Pavel wanted to go with him for the fair. They had popcorn.”

Once again, I don’t know what to say.

Bambi notices my shock. She tilts her head to one side and gives me a considerate once-over. “I don’t want you to run away screaming. But I have to ask this because I’ve been wondering for a while now.” She takes a deep breath, then lets it out in a low sigh. “Do you know what a good man looks like?”

I blink.

“I’m not saying he’s perfect. Shit, he’s anything but. It’s just…” She does that peering thing again, her expression full of sympathy. “When every formative experience you’ve ever had with the male half of humanity is worse than the last, it’s fair to wonder if you’d know a good man when you meet one. Someone who caresforyou, andaboutyou. Who cares for everyone in his world before he looks after himself.”

I just sit here and soak in her words. Is that what Demyen does?

As I scroll through a mental list, the answer becomes an ever-resoundingYES.

His whole vendetta against me came from a care and concern for his older brother. From a sense of justice—misguided, for sure, but still present.

But even before he figured out who I am, Demyen insisted on bringing meandmy daughter, without hesitation, to his home the second he knew we were escaping abuse.

In fact, Demyen never asked for more details when I told him. He seemed to just hear and understand that we were in danger, and his immediate response was to protect us.

Just like he protected Bambi.

And probably Pavel.

And, I’m guessing from their seemingly undying loyalty, every single one of the men of his Bratva.

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