Page 32 of You've Always Been Mine

I hear him exhale. “Yes, Liv. I meant what I said.”

His words break through the ice. My neck turns, and my timid eyes find his. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“You…” I lick my dry lips. “You were in love with me?”

“I was.” His hand finds mine. He laces our fingers, and my stomach clenches. “Iam.”

My heart almost stops. “Don’t say that,” I demand in a whisper, shaking my head in denial.

“Why not?” He inches closer. His eyes dart from my eyes to my lips. It doesn’t take a mind reader to know what he’s thinking. Or what he’s planning to do next.

Still, a hint of self-preservation remains. “You can’t be in love with me.” I swallow down the emotion in my throat. “You don’t know me anymore.”

Derek stills, and his eyes search mine. “Are you really so different from when we were kids?”

It might be sad to say, but I honestly admit, “No. I’m pretty much the same.”

Derek smiles. “Good. Because I thought you were perfect back then.”

My chest squeezes. “You did?”

“I did.” His nostrils flare with a deep inhale before he asks, “And you?”

I tilt my head. “What about me?”

“What did you think about me back then?” It’s subtle, but there’s the tiniest bit of unease flickering in Derek’s eyes.

The fact I can make this confident man doubt himself is invigorating. Not because I rejoice in having power over anyone, but because it’s further proof that what he says he feels about me is true. He’s afraid of rejection—the same rejection I felt about prom. That we both felt, I suppose.

I just don’t understand why things ended the way they did after St. Kitts. If we both liked each other, why didn’t something come out of our time together? What happened?

I consider asking.

But when I think about how doing so could ruin the moment building between us, I choose to stay silent. We can talk about that later. Right now, I want to focus on the present.

Determined to not let another day pass where a misunderstanding or hurt feelings cloud the truth of how we both feel about each other, I call on every ounce of confidence and confess, “Derek, you were the smartest boy I knew, incredibly cute, and my best friend. You were, also, the first boy I ever had a crush on.”

His lips twitch. “You had a crush on me?”

That’s putting it mildly, but I’m not brave enough to confess the depth of my feelings.

Not even after he confessed his…

Not yet.

“I did.” I smile, feeling a huge weight roll off my shoulders as I add, “And I still do.”

CHAPTER 17

Derek

I’m notsure who moves first. I’d like to think it’s me—that I’m man enough to go for what I want after so many years of not doing just that. But if I’m being honest, I don’t know who closes the distance between us. Not that it matters.

The moment my lips meet Olivia’s for the second time tonight, the only thing I care about is making sure I don’t leave room for her to doubt about how I feel about her again.

It’s funny, I’ve discussed Olivia with Dr. Cho many times. I always found it strange how he’d insist on hearing about our friendship, even before St. Kitts. He would focus on my feelings of rejection and question if the emotion lingered. He even inquired what I thought about losing our friendship now that I’d also lost Kyle. Looking back, it’s clear from Dr. Cho’s line of questioning that he knew I had unresolved feelings for Olivia. He’s going to get a kick out of hearing I admitted them out loud. Dare I say, he may even be proud.

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