Page 55 of You've Always Been Mine

“I need to go.” I stand to leave, but not before placing the ultrasound pictures on the coffee table in front of me. I give them one last lingering glance, feeling my heart fissure into several pieces, before forcing myself to look away.

Olivia rises shakily. “Derek, please. Let’s talk about this.”

“We’ve talked. Now, I need to think.” I need to process my emotions, and I need to do it on my own time. I love Olivia, God knows I do, but I can’t sit here and keep my composure whiletrying to figure out how to move forward after learning this life-changing information.

Because even though my child never breathed their first breath, they existed, and I didn’t know. And that heartbreaking truth tears out a tiny piece of my soul that I will never be able to get back.

CHAPTER 29

Derek

The next fourdays pass by in a blur of anger, despair, and confusion. I still can’t believe a mix of alcohol and medication made it so I did not remember having sex with Olivia for the first time. Rather, I don’t want to believe it. Just like I don’t want to believe Olivia never brought it up to me afterwards.

If I didn’t know her, I’d say it was because it didn’t mean anything to her. But that’s not true. Which means Olivia didn’t mention our night together because she thought I was an asshole who wouldn’t want to discuss it—that I slept with her with no intention of being with her. It’s a low blow, but one I deserve after years of not speaking to her.

Still, Olivia’s decision not to talk about our night together should’ve ended when she got the positive pregnancy test, and itdefinitelyshould have ended when she decided to end the pregnancy.

I’m angry that she chose to go through that alone—that she didn’t think I’d want to be there to support her. Olivia carried my child—ourchild—and yet she opted to make that heartbreaking decision alone.

She didn’t trust me.

And thatkillsme.

Those thoughts and more keep my head spinning, leaving me unbalanced and unable to function. That’s why my sister finds me leaning against the headboard of my childhood bed, staring at the wall with bloodshot eyes from hours of intermittent crying.

“Derek?” I drag my gaze to my oldest sister. She hovers at my bedside wearing a concerned expression. “Didn’t you hear me knocking?”

“No.”

Her eyes trail over my body. Her concern grows. “Are you sick?”

“Something like that.”

She taps my legs, forcing me to move them over, and then sits on the edge of the mattress. “What’s going on? Grandmom called me when you didn’t visit today. She’s worried.”

Shit. I forgot to tell Grandmom I wasn’t coming.

“I’m fine. I just overslept,” I lie. I haven’t slept more than a wink since I learned what happened to the child I didn’t even know existed.

She tilts her head. “Why don’t I believe you?”

Because you’re smart.

“No idea,” I grumble before closing my eyes. With any luck, she’ll take it as a hint to leave.

She doesn’t.

“Hm.” Avery hums. I sense her probing stare as she searches for an explanation for my state. I keep my eyelids pressed closed, determined not to give her anything. I don’t know what I’d say even if I wanted to. The truth feels like it’s Olivia’s secret to tell.

“Woah!”

Avery’s exclamation makes my eyes fly open. I follow her gaze, and my mood plummets into the depths of the Mariana Trench when I realize what she’s looking at.

Gawking at the small box on the TV stand, Avery asks, “Is that what I think it is?”

I sigh.

There’s no getting around this.

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