Page 29 of Mostly Loathing You

When we were kids, Gen’s crush on Jackson was harmless, or so I thought. When they broke up, it was more than their romantic entanglement that fell apart. Gen and I stopped hanging out that day and, up until they returned into each other’s lives, it stayed that way.

While we talked about it briefly the day I went to her house to try to get her to give him a chance, we haven’t discussed it since then.

I miss her, but I don’t know how to say that. It’s starting to feel like I’ve ruminated on it for too long and now it would be weird to say something.

“Are you two ready to order?”

I don’t realize the server is standing over us until she speaks. I’ve barely looked at the menu of the pho restaurantthat Gen suggested. Frantically I start scanning the menu, trying to figure out what to get.

“Can we get a few to look over the menu?” Gen politely responds to our server, making me realize how rude I had been.

“Of course, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” The server disappears almost as quickly as she appeared, leaving Gen and me to bask in the silence.

I bite the inside of my cheek as I investigate my options on the menu, ultimately settling on the beef pho. Unfortunately for me, I no longer have a valid reason to stare at my menu like it’s going to sprout two heads.

“Han?”

“Hm?” I respond, barely looking up from my menu despite having made my selection.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice is reserved, almost nervous.

“For what?”

“Everything—” As the word drifts off her tongue, my eyes are pulled to hers, an expression of anguish mirrored back at me.

“Gen, it’s fine. Seriously. Bygones and all that.” I wave my hand in an attempt to let it go, but she continues.

“No, it’s not. I wasn’t a good friend in how I handled things with Jackson. I knew you were upset, and I didn’t try to push. I know it was a long time ago, but I really want to be able to get closer to where we were…I miss you.”

I spent years wanting an apology from her and yet, now that I have it, I realize that I have already forgiven her. How things transpired hurts to think about, but I know she was being driven by her love for my brother—how could I fault her for that? Is holding onto past pain worth keeping her at arm’s length?

“I miss you too…and I didn’t handle any of that great, either. We were kids.”

“Are we okay?” Gen’s voice carries through the air, her glassy expression causing a pang in my stomach.

“Yeah…” I sigh, but she doesn’t appear to believe me. “We will be.”

This seems to appease her as a grin spreads across her lips, the previously anxious pinch in her brow nowhere to be found.

“How is it going at Baker & Park?” Gen asks.

“It’s going fine.” I try not to be snippy, but I’ve had a week straight out of the Twilight Zone and thinking about that place is about the last thing I want to be doing. “Honestly, it should be the tenth circle of hell being near Liam for eight hours a day.”

Gen chuckles, causing me to shoot her a glare.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, that is just nearly verbatim the way your brother describes working with the two of you at each other’s throats.”

Somehow, my glare intensifies, but this doesn’t deter her.

“I’m just saying, you and Liam fighting is hardly a new thing, so why does it suddenly bother you?”

While I know she’s right, that isn’t what has my head spinning, but I don’t want to tell her that.

Something has shifted in Liam and the fact that I can’t pinpoint what, exactly, is driving me mad. He’ll go from normal to nice within a matter of minutes and it’s giving me whiplash.

I mean, that whole thing with my mom—what the hell was that?

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