Page 89 of Second Chance Vacation

“I’vebeenover that.”

Wow, well—that’s not what I was expecting to come of this conversation.

“Then why haven’t we talked in eight years, Hannah?”

Silence falls once again, leaving me staring at Hannah while her eyes are fixed on the window, presumably watching the same robin perched on the tree.

“The phone works in both directions, ya know?”

Over the years, I fought off the desire to call or text Hannah all the time, but I have never been able to get myself to hit the button. What if she didn’t want to hear from me? The answer to that question kept me from reaching out.

“I didn’t think you wanted to hear from me…”

Hannah nods, seemingly agreeing with me.

“That is true—but it hasn’t been the case for a long time.” She sighs, leaning her stance toward me. “What is the case, though, is you and my brother and your self-indulgent insistence on making this harder than it has to be. He loves you, you love him, bada bing, bada boom, babies.”

“Bada bing, bada boom…babies?” I attempt to stifle my chuckle but fail. She can't be serious.

“I’m a New Yorker now. I’m living the culture.”

“Yeah, okay.” I roll my eyes, thankful for the return of normalcy between us.

“Seriously, Viv…what are you doing? You’ve been in love with my brother, God knows why, for as long as I can remember. It’s actually kind of sickening, so what gives?”

Silence creeps in as rays of sunshine bleed through the blinds, painting the room in a masterpiece of lines. As much as I fight my feelings for Jackson, I’m not sure I have the capability to lie to Hannah about it, but I also don’t know how to say it either.

“I can’t—”

“But you do…so why can’t you say it?” Hannah asks as she pins me with a look. As if she reads something in my expression, she sighs, leaning toward me. “…your mom?”

My eyes meet Hannah’s. Instinctively, I reach up to grasp the locket that has been my only anchor for over twenty years, only to remember I drunkenly left it by my sink last night. I don’t say anything, but she knows enough about me to know.

“Look,” she leans in, pulls my hand from my chest, and places both hands in my own, squeezing them and setting them back in my lap, our hands intertwined, “I know I didn’t handle yours and Jackson’s break up well—okay, I handled it like shit…but, at no point have I questioned whether you love my brother. I know you’ve got your shit. I get it. But Viv?”

“Hm?”

“You’re in love with him. You always have been. You were back then, and you are now. Nothing is going to happen to him because of that. Your love is not the kiss of death. I mean—look at me, I’m alive and well, and we both know you love me!”

I shake my head, wrapping her in a hug but distinctively not agreeing with her. Do I know I love Hannah? Absolutely, but the words are still so hard for me to say, and I can’t figure out why.

“Han…are we going to be okay?”

“Of course, you and I both know Jackson will forgive you the second you bat those lashes of yours.”

“I don’t mean Jackson…”

With this, Hannah looks up at me, finding my eyes with a pointed stare. She doesn’t say anything for a few beats, causing my heart rate to pick up.

“—We’ll get there. I’m thinking about sticking around for a while. I mean, I need to head back to New York and face the music, but…I’ll be back soon. We’ll work on it.”

The sad smile mirrored back at me causes a twinge in my stomach. We used to be so close. How did we fall so far from who we were?

Shut up. I know why…but it doesn’t make it suck any less.

“Good.” I pull her back to me, and Hannah hugs me back.

I’m optimistic.

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