Page 87 of Someday Away

LINCOLN

Ifeel like the world’s biggest asshole as I storm down the hallway from Charlie’s dorm room and practically punch the elevator’s call button to take me to the foyer.

I glance back.Is she going to follow me?If she does, I won’t be able to stop myself. My cock is still painfully hard.

I feel so damn guilty.

I should have told her about that night before everything got this far. But fuck, how can I sleep with her now with this huge lie hanging over my head?

You already fucked her; you took her virginity and then left.

The elevator is taking its sweet time. I growl angrily, hitting the call button again before scrubbing a hand over my face and then practically running for the stairwell instead. As I jog down the stairs, the airs is too hot, and I feel like I’m suffocating.

I burst through the exit door, collapsing against the Raven Building’s rough brick wall. I breathe deeply, letting the winter chill saturate my body.

Trey and I talked about this in the car on our way back from Brighton—me fucking her again. I thought I could do it but the way she wanted me was likethatnight all over again.

That unexpected, perfect, fucked-up night when I took her virginity, and she took my goddamn soul.

She still has it.

Ever since I had sex with her, I’ve only been able to fuck girls in the dark. I never wanted to see their faces because they weren’t her.

I release a shaky breath and start walking back to my dorm.

I know what I want now. I want us all together. I like us together. She needs Trey, Trey needs her, and I need both of them more than I care to admit.

It feels like there’s a lead weight on my chest. I want to give her every part of me, but I’m so fucking scared to lose her when she finds out all of my truths.

As if in response to my chaotic thoughts, the wind gusts, and I shove my hands in my pockets, hunching over against the icy blast that cuts through my clothes.

TREY

After Link left, I tucked Charlie in and promised her that we’d talk tomorrow. I tried to reiterate that Lincoln’s reaction wasn’t her fault, but she seemed doubtful.

Unfortunately, I’ve been waiting for something to trigger him. Link tends to panic and act out when life gets heavy. When Serenity confessed her love to him last year, he broke up with her and then went on a drinking binge that rivaled my greatest hits. But ever since Allie left us, he sees potential relationships as just another opportunity for someone to abandon him, so I figured this was coming as I watched him soften from Charlie’s bully to her lover.

When I enter our dorm, I find him lying on the living room floor next to an empty bottle of whisky, his arms and legs splayed out like a kid making a snow angel. His stares up blankly while quietly singing “Little Star” fromRomeo + Juliet.

“Whoa, buddy, you okay?” I walk over and sit next to him.

He glances at me, the life returning to his stoney eyes. He smiles sadly but looks grateful to see me. Then, like he used to do when he had nightmares, he scoots close to me and lays his head in my lap. I run my fingers through his dark hair.

“Why couldn’t I do it?” His breath reeks of alcohol.

“Do what?” I ask carefully.

A fat tear gathers in the corner of one eye and trickles down his cheek. “You were there. Charlie wanted me, and I said no.”

“And why did you do that?” I ask softly.

When he looks at me, the pain in Link’s eyes makes my heart ache. Even when his mom left, he opted for quiet resentment and anger. There wasn’t a single tear in sight.

“It’s just…I finally know what I want. I want her. And I know I’ve fucked it up before it even really began. How can I let Charlie in when she doesn’t know everything? That her mom shredded my family, so I stalked her, hated her by default, and I intentionally took her virginity, for fuck’s sake. All for something she had no control over. I was such a selfish prick, and she’ll never forgive me for it.”

“How do you know unless you tell her?”

“I’m not ready. I’m too much of a coward.” He swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing with the movement. “But I can’t lose her.”

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