Page 138 of Someday Away

LINCOLN

Everything is quiet. Too quiet.

I can hear my thoughts blaring in my head while I stare at the ceiling. I didn’t sleep much last night. It’s 6:30 a.m., and the sun is just beginning to brighten the corners of the sky with a soft blush.

Trey is asleep nestled into my side, his breath slow and even. He has one arm thrown above his head, and his golden hair is an artful morning mess across his forehead and the pillow. We forgot to close my curtains last night, so the predawn light flooding the room isn’t helping my insomnia, but at least I can appreciate its beauty now—just another way Charlie has changed me for the better. The little things matter again.

But I can’t shake Sebastian’s words from yesterday.“I think he raped your mom out of some sick sense of vengeance. You were just his collateral damage.”

How am I any different? Didn’t I plan to hurt Charlie because I was so angry at Ellen? Yeah, it wasn’t rape. But emotional damage is still damage.

The guilt and shame almost choke me as I compare my motives to Matt’s, and I still can’t shake the feeling that I don’t deserve her.

I’m also haunted by Trey’s accusatory eyes when I tried to run after we found Charlie in the park. I felt the hurt and potential loss lurking there all the way to my bones—to my soul.

I mean something to her.To them.

I always hated the selfless martyr trope in movies and books—decidingforsomeone that they’re better off without you—but now I understand the dilemma.

Would they really be better off? Wouldn’t leaving be just as damaging? But how do I live with myself knowing my motives were no better than a sociopath’s sick intentions?

The thought causes nausea to roll through my stomach and climb up my throat. I swallow quickly and ease myself out of the bed so I don’t wake Trey. I grab some workout clothes from my closet and slip into the bathroom to change. Then I head to the living room and lace on my sneakers, hoping an early run will clear my head and settle my nerves.

I take the stairs down and open the door, reveling in the cool morning air brushing over my overheated skin. I glance at the sky—dark, ominous clouds are moving in from the east, eating up the pale blue expanse in their path. I trek across campus, the cold dew quickly soaking into my runners. Once I make it through the gate to Main Street, I start to run, and I don’t look back.

TREY

I wake up alone, dull gray daylight filling Lincoln’s bedroom. The sheets are twisted and tangled around my body. I roll out of the mess, stretching until I feel my muscles protest, and then slide out of bed. I pull on some of Link’s loose basketball shortsand walk out into the hallway, my eyes narrowing at the quiet that greets me.

My gaze flicks to my room. The door is open, and I can see from where I stand that my room is empty.

Did the girls go out alone?

Link seems to be gone too, so maybe they all went somewhere together.

I walk into my room, grumbling about people who don’t leave notes and dig out a T-shirt and a hoodie and then slide on my sneakers and head downstairs. I figure they probably went to the dining hall for breakfast.

The sky is an angry roiling mess of gunmetal-gray clouds. It looks as if the heavens could open up at any second, so I up my pace to a jog, not keen on getting caught in a downpour. I push through the dining hall doors and scan the tables, my eyes catching on a familiar shock of auburn hair.

Charlie sits next to Flowers, their heads resting together as they watch something on her laptop. Charlie pauses to take a large bite of Lucky Charms and then nudges Flowers’ arm before they both break out in laughter. It’s nice to see them so happy, but at the same time, Lincoln is still MIA.

I stride toward the table with purpose, bending down when I reach Charlie to speak quietly into her ear. “Bennett, you and Flowers shouldn’t be out here alone.” My whisper comes out low and menacing.

She startles and looks back at me guiltily. When her head turns, we’re so close that our mouths brush, and I can’t help the wicked smile that ghosts across my lips.

“You guys were still asleep, and we were hungry,” she says, her tone sassy like a teenager who just broke all the rules but doesn’t give a fuck. But she can’t pull that on me—I’ve been that teenager.

I look over at Flowers’s curious gaze and turn on my classic Trey Walker charm. “I’m going to borrow this one for just a few minutes.” Then I pull Charlie to her feet. Her forest-green eyes dilate, and she doesn’t resist. I smirk because I know my bossy side turns her on.

I drag her through the double doors and around the side of the building. It’s not particularly cold, but the air is heavy.

“Trey,” she whines as I press her back against the rough bricks, pinning her with my hands on either side of her head.

“I thought we all agreed you wouldn’t go wandering around alone right now,” I growl.

She licks her lips and smiles. “I’m not alone.” Her voice takes on an innocent lilt as she bats her lashes at me. “Fiona is with me.”

What a brat.

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