Page 10 of Senescence (Inferno World)

For the several weeks I had been back, I kept a watchful eye out for Luke. I desperately wanted to talk to him, and a small section of my brain wanted him to take me out back and rail me up against the alley wall. He had been the premise of every dream I’d had and the most basic parts of me craved him like nothing I had ever desired before. Many nights before bed I found myself fingering my dripping pussy imagining my digits were Pater’s cock. I wanted him with a fire I didn’t know was possible, and I didn’t understand it. My legs squeezed together trying to calm the aching need inside of me as I handed the gentleman back his change and wished him a pleasant afternoon.

With no one left in my line, and few people in the store, I had Tanya keep an eye on the registers and made my way to the employee bathroom in the back. I needed to rub the tiny bundle of nerves hidden to the outside world so I could continue to focus on work. If I didn’t stop these sudden daydreams of Luke soon, I was going to go mad with want. Not to mention I was going to rub myself raw.

As soon as I stepped into the bathroom and locked the door behind me, I flew to the toilet and pushed up the lid. I watched as my breakfast came back up in chunks. Blueberry syrup and stomach acid assaulted my nose making my entire body convulse again. For five minutes, I heaved, until nothing was left in me but regret and revulsion. I had come back to the bathroom to fantasize about my stranger, and had instead ralphed everywhere. What was going on with me?

Knock knock knock.

“What the hell is going on in there, Lucy?” Bob’s voice assaulted me.

“I’ll be right out,” I called back. The last thing I needed was him getting angry at me for being sick. That seemed like a silly thing to think, but I knew that was exactly what would happen.

I pulled my hair back and used the back of my sleeve to pat my mouth. Rising to my feet, I attempted to walk over to the sink but froze when I heard a key enter the lock of the bathroom door. Bob was coming in and he didn’t care what I was doing.

“What the hell are you do--,” I attempted, only to be cut off by his yell.

“You’ve been in here for ten minutes, bitch. What the fuck are YOU doing?”

I turned on the faucet to the cold water and grabbed a paper towel to rinse my face. “Not that it’s any of your business, or that you even give a shit, but I was getting sick.” I pointed to the toilet I had yet to flush, for proof.

“You fucking disgust me,” he sneered, locking the door behind him.

“I disgust you?” I laughed, knowing full well I was provoking him. “Who’s the one who had their fingers in their daughter’s cunt a month ago? Who looked at their daughter’s body with lust instead of love? That’s you Bob. You’re the fucking disusting one,” I spat out, clearly out of my fucking mind.

Moving faster than I thought was possible for him, I didn’t even see the back of his hand until it was mere inches from my face. Toppling over, I reached up to feel blood coming from my lip.

“Is that all you fucking got, Bob?” I laughed again, spitting blood in his general direction.

His face turned red when I didn’t submit and when his boot connected with my kidneys, I lost all breath inside of me. Coughing on the putrid floor of the grocery store bathroom, I rolled over and pulled my knees up to my chest. If this was fucking life, I no longer wanted to live it.

“Get out of my fucking store, Lucy. We’ll have a chat tonight about your new found attitude and how we’re going to rectify it.”

Bob unlocked the door and walked out, shutting it behind him and locking it. Of course he didn’t want anyone to accidentally walk in and see what he had done. He had an image to protect, along with his store.

I waited just long enough to catch my breath before I stood and made my way back to the sink. Dabbing my mouth with a paper towel, I looked at the girl staring back at me in the mirror. A month ago I knew Bob hated me, but I had no idea the depth in which he did. A month ago, I had been a seventeen year old virgin full of hope and wonder. A month ago, my life had seemed far better than what I was living today.

This girl staring back at me had no hope, and no wonder. She was broken and beaten with nowhere to go. She missed her mom, and she missed the days when her innocence had kept her from bleeding. I was no longer the doe-eyed pure soul who had walked the aisles of this store. It had only taken 30 days for me to transform into what I was now; a desperate and bleeding woman who wanted to kill her father with her bare hands.

End of June

“What brings you in today?”

I gulped, my fingers shaking, my legs trembling, my brain running around in circles in my empty head. I knew what was about to happen, but I couldn’t get my dry mouth to speak. The nurse looked at me with compassion and nodded her head.

She turned around in her stool and grabbed a cup out of the cabinet. I didn’t even need to do this. I already knew.

“The bathroom is right outside. Leave the cup in the window and come on back in here when you’re done.”

I nodded and took the cup from her, retreating to the bathroom outside. I had already done six of these from the home tests I had stolen from the store. A seventh one wasn’t going to change the outcome. I was pregnant.

After ten or so minutes back in the waiting room, a male doctor appeared with a gentle smile on his face. We had both seen each other before at the FreshN’Fast, but professionalism must have been high on his priorities since he didn’t mention it. Everyone knew everyone around here.

“ Please understand that you’re eighteen and whatever happens in this room is between you and me. ”

I nodded and waited for him to continue delivering my news.

“It seems you are pregnant Miss Atler.”

I smiled, not wanting to cry in front of the doctor. “I know.”

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