Page 4 of Senescence (Inferno World)

“Get out,” he mumbled under his breath.

Unable to do anything but follow his orders, I walked out of his office, a cascade of tears overflowing down my cheeks. How was I going to leave now? Did he know my plan and was this his way of stopping me? And if he wanted me to stay, why on God’s green earth did he make my life so unbearably miserable?

I didn’t know the answer to any of these questions, and I had just run out of mental capacity to deal with it. I was going to clock out and go home and decide my next course of action. It wasn’t like the few dollars I would lose out on by not finishing my shift would mean a great deal in the grand scheme of things and if I had to see another happy family, I was going to burn this store to the ground.

My best course of action was to go home and make a plan. Bob wouldn’t be home for a few hours yet, and the quiet of my house would bring me a bit of solace. At least, I hoped it would.

April

The silence did nothing for me except make me angrier. I wanted to thrash about the house, destroying everything I could see, but ninety-nine percent of the belongings and decor were put up by my mom and I just couldn’t see myself destroying the last little bit of her left in my life. It was bad enough I had intended on leaving the only home I had ever known her in, but to decimate it on my way out felt like a crime to her memory, and I just couldn’t do it.

When Bob had gotten home, he hadn’t even bothered to look for me. It was as if he knew I would be in my room and I would never go anywhere. He was right of course. With no money left to my name, where the fuck was I supposed to go. I expected him to come in and punish me for leaving before my shift was over, but he didn’t and for that at least there was a little for me to be grateful for.

I didn’t want to say my father was abusive, but my father was abusive. He had never laid a hand on me when my mom was alive, but now that she wasn’t there to protect me, he got to do what he wanted. Of course, he didn’t call it abuse. He said it was God’s judgement carried out by his hand. Either way, it was horseshit and something I tried to avoid at all costs. When he didn’t immediately come into my room to punish me, I knew it would probably come at some point, but it never did.

It had been a few weeks since he had stolen my escape plan and I had cut out early on my shift, and it was as if none of it had even happened. Bob wasn’t any better than normal, but he wasn’t any worse and for that I thanked God.

Maybe it was because today was my birthday, I thought, putting on my work shirt. Unfortunately, just because today was a celebration for most people, dad didn’t give a shit. I still had to work my shift regardless of the holiday. Next year my birthday fell on a Sunday, so I was guaranteed the day off, that was, if I still worked there.

***

Most of the day had gone by in a normal haze of families, milk, and aisle three clean-ups. For everyone else it was just a standard day, but today I became an adult and not even Bob could get me down. I didn’t have any plans for after my shift as I pretty much had no friends, but something felt magical today and I couldn’t put my finger on it.

I turned off my light and headed to the back for my last break of the evening. A lot of times I liked to sit outside with a small snack and people watch, but it was pouring outside and I didn’t want to get drenched. Instead I chilled out in the break room and put something trashy on the TV. Dad would hate it if he saw, but he rarely came in here.

“Knock knock young lady,” Arthur's voice sounded from the doorway. I glanced down at his hand and felt the tears pool in my eyes.

“You remembered?” I asked in shock and a little bit of awe.

“I’m old child, not dead,” he laughed, setting the cupcake down in front of me.

I stood up and leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on the old man’s cheek. He really was exactly what you might want for a father. He was what I thought I wanted for a father.

“Any big plans for your birthday?” He asked, sitting down at the small table with me.

“Nah,” I waved him off. “Just going to hang out at home like normal.”

“But you’re eighteen,” he gawked. “You should be out celebrating with your friends and wreaking havoc on the city.”

I laughed at the old fool and took a bite of the cupcake. It wasn’t from our bakery so I assumed his wife must have made it special. I could have been wrong but I was going to let the sweet thought that someone was thinking about me permeate my mind. It wasn’t often someone went out of their way to think about me, so I would take it and run with it.

“This is delicious Arthur,” I sighed, taking another bite. It really was quite good.

The old man smiled and patted my shoulder, “Here’s to a lifetime more my sweet friend.”

A tear came to my eye and I wiped it away as Arthur left the break room. He really was the sweetest guy and a large part of me envied his children and grandchildren. I imagined them sitting on his lap over Christmas, gathered around the fireplace sipping hot cocoa as he read them stories. I wanted that more than anything in the world.

But I had Bob. The thought of sitting on his lap made me want to hurl the cupcake I had just consumed. The best I could count on from him was being on my knees as he read the bible.

After my break concluded, I clocked back in and made my way back up to the register. There was only about an hour left until I could go home, and since I had worked an early shift, I had the entire day to myself while Bob stayed here and took inventory. It was going to be peaceful to have the house to myself for a few hours and I planned on soaking up every minute of it.

“Hello Lucy Marie,” A deep gravelly voice sounded from in front of me. I had been so wrapped up in my birthday plans after work I hadn’t even seen who had stepped into my line.

As if in slow motion, I looked up to see who the voice had come from. His tone had awoken something inside of me I had never felt before and not something I could describe. It was almost haunting.

Black shirt.

Broad shoulders.

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