Page 16 of Senescence (Inferno World)

But anyways, I saw Daddy go into the store and I snuck around to his truck to wait for him. He was really mad when he came out and he had no groceries in his hand. I’m not sure what happened, but I like to think that he beat up the bad man Bob and walked out. As soon as he saw me though, he got really mad and wouldn’t talk to Mommy. I don’t know what I did, little man, but Daddy decided that day was not a good day to talk to him. He got in his truck and left, and I still didn’t get to tell him about you.

I wish I had been smart and wore something that would have shown my belly more, but it’s so cold out here and I had on my big winter jacket to keep us warm. Have no fear though my little precious angel, we will see him again, and next time we won’t be able to give him a reason to ignore us. If I have to walk up to him naked in the middle of the parking lot, I will. You deserve to know your Daddy, and I’m going to make that happen.

Oh! I forgot to tell you. Mommy saw Bob screwing that lady Tanya out back behind the dumpsters. She looked like she was enjoying it so I didn’t try to stop them. I should have known Bob was a pervert though because he kept saying Mommy’s name.

You’re probably far too young for me to be telling you this, but Mommy has no one else to talk to you but you little man. Mommy also wants to document her entire journey with you so in twenty years, you can look back and see who your Mommy and Daddy were when they were younger. I wish I could take lots of photos and have them for you, but we’ll have to settle for my letters to you for now.

I’m sure once Daddy Luke finds us he’ll take pictures and document your life for everyone to see. I love you so much my little man. (Also, I need to come up with a name for you. What do you think about Peter? It sounds almost like Daddy’s name!) Mommy will think about it and make sure you have the best name in the whole world.

I love you baby boy. To the moon and back.

Love, Your Mommy, Lucy Marie Greene.

End of December

Eight Months Pregnant

“A little smaller, I think,” I said to myself, ripping the garbage bag in my hands. I wished I had scissors to cut this bag, but my teeth and my hands had been working just as well.

I had already created three new onesies from the used garbage bags I had stolen out of the dumpster from the FreshN’Fast, along with cute little booties and mittens from bubble wrap I had managed to score. My little man was going to be the cutest little kid around and I was so proud of myself.

I grabbed the half eaten sub I had scrounged from the trash and took a bite. The bread was hard, and there were definitely green spots on it, but a little mold never hurt anyone, and I was famished. I had been trying to make the sandwich last a few days, but I was too hungry.

I had run out of my food stores pretty quickly. Apparently pregnancy made me extra hungry, and while I hadn’t had to sell my mom's jewelry yet, I had already gone through the money I had stolen from her box. I knew my c-section and little man’s surgery was going to be expensive, so I was trying with all of my might to go to the pawn shop right before I had him. I knew it wouldn’t be enough to cover both procedures, but I would be damned if they took away my baby because I couldn’t afford to pay his medical bills.

I hadn’t seen Luke since the day he had ignored me outside of his truck, but I knew at some point he was going to have to come back. There was no other grocery store in town, and unless he planned on eating week-old subs from the trash like I was, I knew he was going to reappear at some point soon. I just had to be patient and wait it out.

I had become quite good at waiting and watching since my time on the street had started. Too many dangers were around me not to be extra vigilant. Just a week ago I had gotten into a brawl with the neighborhood trash panda who was attempting to steal the bag of Bugles I had found in the dumpster outside Subway. Luckily for me, I had won, and with the help of a few matches, a sharp rock I found, and some underbrush, my baby and I ate well for three nights on raccoon meat. I’d never had it before, but it was quite tasty.

My next task was to head over to the craft store a few miles away and see if there were any bits of fabric thrown out. I was going to need a blanket of some kind to keep my Baby Pater warm, and nothing that Bob or the staff threw out at the FreshN’Fast was going to work.

Colostrum was already starting to leak out of my nipples, and because I had been born with ample breasts, it wasn’t hard for me to suck on them to get some extra out for myself. I thought I had heard somewhere breast milk was good for anyone who drank it, and I certainly wasn’t going to turn down a fresh warm drink on the cold winter nights I was sleeping through.

The only thing I had the most trouble getting was fresh water. A few times I had drank from hoses on the sides of peoples houses in the dark of night, but I had been caught and the cops had been called. Thankfully, I had been able to get away before they caught up with me. The very last thing I wanted was for my baby to be born in jail. It wasn’t my fault I was sleeping on the streets, it was Bob’s. If he had just been a good father to me, none of this would have happened.

I spit on the ground thinking about that self serving son of a bitch. I hated that his blood ran through me, and in turn was running through my baby. More often than not, I pictured little blood cells that looked like Luke, stabbing other little blood cells that looked like Bob. It was a stupid vision, but I found humor in it.

It was the middle of the day, and a small amount of warmth was coming from the sun above. Thankfully for me it hadn’t snowed yet this winter, but I knew it was eventually and inevitably coming. I hoped by then I would be stowed away at Lukes house, sipping hot cocoa by the fire.

At the thought of his name, something inside of me told me to look up.

Lukes truck!

Abandoning my sandwich and my trash onesie, I grabbed my small duffel bag and stood up. I needed to wait until he had gone inside before I could make my move. I wasn’t going to let him ignore us this time around. This time, he was going to acknowledge me and our child, and I wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Once Luke had parked and gone inside, I quickly walked towards his truck, saying a little prayer.

“Please don't let the hatch be locked. Please don’t let the hatch be locked.”

I took a deep breath and pulled, cheering inside when it opened. It was going to be a bit of a tight fit to squeeze in there as he had a soft top cover on it, but I would make it work. Throwing my duffel inside, I looked around to make sure no one was watching. With the cold hitting our town quickly, most people had their hoods pulled down as they half ran into the store. No one was paying attention to me.

Carefully, I jumped onto the hatch and squeezed myself through, closing it behind me. It was dark inside, very little light and warmth coming through. Luckily for me though, I was now surrounded on both sides and the wind couldn’t touch me.

Rubbing my belly, I smiled, “We did it little man. Now you get to meet Daddy and he’s going to love you!”

I laid my head down on my duffel and without worry of critter or weather, I let my body relax and my eyes close. I would just take a few minutes to let my guard down and as soon as we made it back to Luke’s house, I would reveal myself and all would be well.

Luke had to love us. He just had to. Didn’t he?

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